Begin Anew
by CTI-Jenn
Summary: Sequel to Wrong Place, Wrong Time.  Just as it seems like life is returning to normal for Lindsay, Danny, and the rest of the lab, a new threat emerges.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Okay, so shame on me. I haven't posted a new chapter of Gassed in forever and here I am with a new story. I have been working on the next chapter of Gassed but I'm not happy with what I have so far and I don't want to post anything I'm not happy with. I promise I will work through the block and get a new chapter of it up soon. This story is a sequel to Wrong Place, Wrong Time. I was happy with the way I ended the chapter but I guess I really wasn't ready to say goodbye to that storyline completely. Snippets of this story have been running through my head for about a week now so I hope you enjoy it.

This story picks up about three months from the last chapter of Wrong Place, Wrong Time.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 1

Danny Messer wasn't a fan of working the night shift. He recognized that it was a necessary evil of his job; after all, crime - especially murder - wasn't a nine to five business. It didn't use to bother him when he worked because he loved his job regardless of the hours it forced him to keep. In fact, up until two years ago, he had almost preferred to work the night shift alongside his then girlfriend Lindsay. The sometimes more relaxed mindset of the late night hours had left the burgeoning couple plenty of time for innocent flirting in a way that would have been more heavily frowned upon during the daytime hours. After he and Lindsay had married and welcomed the birth of their beautiful daughter Lucy, those times of working the nightshift together had become a less frequent event. Mac Taylor, boss of the crime lab and godfather to their daughter, had recognized that finding a sitter for Lucy over night was more difficult than it was during the day and tried his best to not schedule them both for the same night shift. That had been the start of Danny's disenchantment with working the late hours. He had never complained out loud, however; recognizing that "I'd rather spend the night in bed showing my wife how much I love her" wasn't an excuse he could get away with no matter how supportive Mac was of their relationship.

His disenchantment had turned to outright loathing several months earlier in the wake of almost losing Lindsay at the hands of a group of sadistic bank robbers/kidnappers. The last three months, she'd made amazing strides to recovering from the horrific ordeal she'd been through and he couldn't be prouder of her. It hadn't been a easy time for either of them as Lindsay struggled to regain her confidence and the life she'd had before the attack while Danny could only offer her his support and love as she did so. Still, as far as she had come in the last few months, night time still, on occasion, had a tendency of bringing the worst of her demons to the forefront and it bothered him that he wouldn't be there to comfort her if it should happen while he was at work. He would never admit this fear to her or anyone else because he knew that a return to normalcy was important to Lindsay. Still, it filled his entire being with dread any time he saw his name on the schedule for a night shift without her.

With that in mind, he was glad to be home as he inserted his key into their apartment just after six in the morning. Work had been slow so he'd actually been able to leave a couple of hours earlier than his shift ended so he could actually spend a little bit of time with his two favorite girls before Lindsay had to take Lucy to school and go to work herself. That was time that was rare and precious during those times when they worked opposite shifts.

Knowing that Lindsay would appreciate a steaming mug of coffee when she first woke up, Danny went straight for the kitchen. Opening the baby gate that he'd thought he'd seen the last of once Lucy turned two, he looked over at the latest member of the Messer family. Reese's had just recently graduated from her crate at night but they still felt better about keeping her contained in the non-carpeted kitchen to avoid accidents while they slept. She had grown considerably in the three months she'd been with them, weighing about the same as Lucy now but she'd retained that affectionate and loveable personality that had first drawn them to choosing her as a pet. She looked up from the dog bed they kept in the corner for her, her tail wagging as she recognized Danny. He leaned down and gave her a quick scratch behind the ears.

"I know, you probably are ready for a walk but hows about giving me a little time with the human girls in my life before we do that. 'Kay?"

Reese's gave his arm a bath with her tongue as if to agree to his plan before settling down once again on the bed. With a smile, Danny rose and washed the dog slobber from his arm before he started the coffee going. Leaving the kitchen, he stopped first at Lucy's room and peered in on his little girl to see that she was still deep asleep, lying on her back with one arm flung over her head and the thumb of her other hand gently resting in her slightly opened mouth. He closed the door once again and made his way to the master bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it for just a moment, taking the time to watch his wife as she slept. She was curled on her left side hugging his pillow close to her body as if as a pale substitute for the real thing. Her face was relaxed and peaceful, with no sign that nightmares had in any way invaded her sleep. He hoped that was true as he made his way to the bed, kicking off his shoes as he did so. The bed dipped slightly as he laid down beside her, easing the pillow from her arms. She whimpered slightly but didn't awaken completely as he took the pillow's place. His own arms snaked around her drawing her close to him before planting a feather-light kiss against her lips. Though she responded to his kiss, Danny wasn't sure if she realized he was actually there or was reacting to what she thought was a dream. His hand ran up and down her back, stopping short of slipping it under the t-shirt he recognized as one of his own. His lips left hers and he was content to just hold her beautiful sleeping form in his arms in the silence of the morning. She had probably a little more than a half hour before she had to be awake to get ready for work and he could be content to just enjoy the peacefulness of the moment.

"Either my alarm didn't go off or you're home early." Lindsay's sleep-filled voice broke the silence telling him that she was at least aware of his presence even if she wasn't fully awake. He tightened his hold, pulling her even closer into his embrace and brushed a kiss against her forehead.

"I'm early. You still have time to sleep some more."

"Un huh." She protested as her sleep-filled eyes tried to open. She kissed him deeply, her tongue begging entrance into his mouth which he happily allowed. The kiss lasted for several long passionate minutes and as Danny lost himself in the moment he couldn't help but think that working nights might not be so bad if it could always end up in this moment right here. Finally, they broke off the kiss and Lindsay looked at him with still heavy eyes and a hint of a smile flitting across her face. "Moments like this have been too long in coming the last couple of days. I don't want to waste a minute of any extra time I can have with you."

She didn't seem to have the same qualms about running her hands under his shirt to feel his bare skin against her own. Her touch sent shivers of electricity coursing through his body and Danny couldn't stop the moan of pleasure that left his lips. He returned the favor by caressing her breast through the fabric of the shirt she was wearing. He gave her a smirk. "Got any ideas about how you'd rather spend that time?"

She grinned back at him, tugging at his shirt. "Let's get you out of these clothes and I'll show you what ideas I have."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

By the time Lindsay's alarm went off, the sated couple was lying in each other's arms basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Both had had their doubts months ago that they would ever regain the spontaneity and ease they'd once known in their sexual relationship. If anything Lindsay believed it was even better than it had been before she'd been kidnapped and raped at the hands of the sadistic bastard that had tried to destroy her life. Perhaps it was because having coming so close to losing everything, they now realized how important every moment they spent together was.

"I wish I didn't have to go to work." Lindsay admitted after silencing the alarm.

Danny drew her in for another kiss. "So do I but we are both off tomorrow and I think I can be convinced to spend the entire day right here in bed with you. What do you think?"

Lindsay loved the way his voice seemed to get deeper and huskier during and after they were intimate with each other. The rich timbre of it never failed to send shivers of delight down her spine. "Sounds wonderful but I somehow have trouble seeing Lucy and Reese's letting us get away with it for long."

As much as Danny wanted to keep her right there in his arms and show her once more just how much he loved her, he knew she had to start getting ready for work soon or risk being late. He gave her one more quick kiss and pulled away, reaching for his boxers and wife beater that had been unceremoniously dumped as they undressed each other earlier. "Ma's been begging me for more time with Lucy; I bet she'd be willing to babysit and puppysit for the day if I asked. We can have tomorrow for the two of us and make Sunday a family day before we return to work on Monday. At least next week, we'll both be on days together."

Lindsay reached for her t-shirt as well, as Danny slowly re-dressed. "Sounds like a wonderful plan. Do you mind getting Lucy up and dressed while I'm getting ready for work?"

"I could, unless you'd rather that I help you with your shower." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. She laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I'd better pass. I'd hate to have to explain to Mac why I'm late for work. Tomorrow, however…" She left the rest of her statement hanging as she disappeared into the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she couldn't help but let her gaze linger for just a second on the crack in the bathroom mirror the way she did every time she came into the bathroom. She knew Danny did the same as well. The crack had come three months earlier when Danny had tried to put his fist through the mirror following a bad nightmare that had caused him to aggressively react to Lindsay's presence in a way that he knew had to have frightened her given what had happened to her. They had discussed replacing the mirror but in the end both had decided to keep it as it was a reminder of the lessons they had learned from that experience about being able to rely on the other when things got difficult.

Rather than dwell on that time of her life, Lindsay made quick work of showering and dressing. Though she wouldn't admit it to Danny, part of her almost dreaded going to work now. As much as she loved her job, it was hard to go to work every day knowing that the aftermath of the attack was still affecting her life there. Dealing with the events of the kidnapping and the rape had shaken her very core and had affected her performance at work to the point that it had come to the attention of Brigham Sinclair, Mac's boss. He had forced Mac to impose stipulations to her job that she was still forced to deal with three months later. When she'd passed her gun re-qualification and her psych evaluation two months ago, she'd thought things would return to normal but Sinclair was insisting on dragging his heels on letting up on his restrictions to her ability to work solo in the field. Constantly feeling like her every move was being watched was weighing on her at work and she was finding it harder and harder not to show her frustration around her husband and co-workers.

She didn't blame Sinclair or Mac; they had to think about the safety and integrity of the lab first and foremost. Except for an occasional dark day now and then that seemed to threaten her re-emerging self esteem, she didn't blame herself either. The blame rested solely on the man who had made her life a living hell, and even though he was dead and couldn't hurt her anymore; the aftermath of his actions continued to weigh on her in ways she couldn't control. She knew that Mac would allow her to return to the field unencumbered as soon as he could but it couldn't come fast enough for her.

Dressed, she emerged from the bedroom to find her husband and daughter laughing in the kitchen as they worked on making breakfast together. Although if she were completely honest, it was Danny cooking breakfast while Lucy was playing with the puppy. She could see a small plate of bacon waiting on the counter as Danny was working on the fried eggs. She smiled and kissed his cheek before greeting her daughter. She poured herself a mug of coffee before joining Danny at the stove. She snitched a small slice of bacon off the plate to nibble on as he finished the rest of the breakfast. He gave her a mock glare making her giggle.

"Don't blame me if someone helped me work up an appetite early this morning. I have a feeling you've helped yourself to some already anyway."

Once breakfast was finished, it was time for Lindsay and Lucy to leave. Lucy wrapped her small arms around her father's neck and gave him a long hug and then a kiss. "Bye Daddy. I loves you so much."

His heart melted as it always did when she said those words. He hugged her tightly and told her to have a good day at school. She climbed out of his lap and went to Reese's, hugging the dog much the same way she'd just hugged Danny. "Bye Reese's. I loves you so much."

Danny's jaw dropped to hear her say goodbye to the dog the same way she had him. Before his ego could become too bruised, Lindsay wrapped her own arms around his neck and gave him a long, slow kiss goodbye. Once she pulled away, he couldn't help but warn her. "You say goodbye to the dog that same way and I swear to you I'll forget all about callin' Ma about tomorrow."

Lindsay laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it, Cowboy. Love you."

"Love you too. Be careful."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

The morning hours passed relatively quietly for Lindsay. It was almost as if crime had decided to take the day off that she'd wanted to take while in bed with Danny. She wasn't going to complain, however. A busy day at the lab meant that someone else had to suffer a horrible crime and she wouldn't wish that on anyone. While everything was quiet, Mac had Lindsay and Hawkes work together to do some much needed restocking and cleaning around the lab.

After lunch, she was in the process of refilling different bottles of chemicals while Hawkes was re-sterilizing Petri dishes and vials. She was lost in her own little world when she suddenly heard glass breaking and then Hawkes cursed and let out a strangled cry. She rushed to his side, worried to see blood dripping from his clutched hand.

"What happened?" She asked as she led him to the sink to wash the cut.

"I don't really know. One of the dishes must have gotten too hot in the oven; it just busted to pieces when I removed it. I think I might have some shards of glass still in the cut."

Mac came running into the lab, wincing as he saw the wound. "We need to take you to the emergency room to get that treated. Lindsay, Jo's already out at a crime scene. You ready to handle a solo event if another call comes in before I get back?"

Lindsay was more than ready to fly solo but she felt bad that it was coming at the expense of Sheldon getting hurt. She also didn't want Mac to get in trouble with Sinclair if he let her go on her own before it was authorized. Chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully, she looked at him carefully. "Would it be better if I took Sheldon to the ER just in case? I don't want…"

"I'll have to fill out the paperwork anyway at the hospital. I'm okay with sending you out alone if you are okay with it. Sinclair isn't going to have a problem with it." Mac assured her as they temporarily wrapped Hawkes's hand.

"I won't let you down." Lindsay promised as she walked with the two men to the elevator.

Mac gave her arm a squeeze. "I know you won't. I'll be back when I can."

As the elevator door opened, she reached up and gave Sheldon a kiss on the cheek. "I hope everything is okay."

The two men hadn't been gone ten minutes when her phone buzzed. She looked at the message. A dead body, possible overdose, had been discovered in the back alley of 41st Street and she was needed to process the scene. She squared her shoulders as she grabbed her kit to head to the parking garage. It was time to go prove she was still capable of doing her job.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Okay, if you remember anything at all please give me a call at the station." Don Flack, Jr. handed the potential witness his card and closed his notebook. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a department Avalanche pull up. He never knew which CSI would respond to a call but he never really worried about it. Anyone on Mac Taylor's team was more than capable of whatever the job asked of them. As the truck door opened and Lindsay Messer emerged, he smiled, pleasantly surprised to see her by herself. He'd listened to Danny venting many times over the last two months about how unfair Sinclair was treating Lindsay with his restrictions and knew it was only a matter of time before his best friend blew his cool around the Chief of Detectives in defense of his wife.

"Glad to see you fully back in the saddle. 'Bout damn time if you asked me."

She flashed him a grin. It did feel good to not feel like she was being babysitted at a crime scene even if she did feel bad about the circumstances that led to it. She was a little nervous however; one wrong move could mean further restrictions from Sinclair and she didn't want to take any chances.

"What have we got?" Lindsay asked as she ducked under the crime scene tape.

Flack indicated the alley way. She could see the body lying propped against a wall. Male, approximately 20 years old, clothes dirty and unkempt. He was wearing a t-shirt and his bare arms told the story of repeated needle injections.

"No ID and nobody around here claims to have seen anything or know who he is. Doesn't look like it was his first rodeo with drugs."

Lindsay took her camera from her kit and knelt beside the body, taking a few pictures. "Maybe not but it was definitely his last." She looked at the ground around the body and frowned. "Are we sure this is where he died? Or that he died alone?"

Flack shook his head. "Like I said, nobody claims to know anything. Why?"

"No sign of a needle or other drug paraphernalia. If he overdosed, it doesn't look like he shot up here. Can we get a couple of unis to canvas the rest of the alleyway to see if there's a needle or drug vial around?"

Flack nodded as he saw a shop owner he hadn't questioned yet opening the shop next door. He indicated the two officers standing just on the other side of the tape. "Why don't you grab Jenkins and Saunders over there. I'm going to see if the guy who has the shop our DB died next to knows anything."

Lindsay nodded and straightened up. As Flack made his way toward the shop, she approached the two officers. Jenkins, the older of the two officers turned to face her as she came close. She offered them a warm smile. "I need the two of you to help me with something real quick."

None of them noticed the dark sedan turn the corner and slowly drive down the street toward their location. They didn't notice as it slowed to a small crawl as it got closer and closer, They didn't see the back window roll down on the barrel of a gun poke its way out the open window. They saw nothing until the sounds of gun fire filled the air.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: So glad you liked the first chapter. I guess I should have stated with the first chapter that if you hadn't read Wrong Place, Wrong Time you should do so, so that you wouldn't be completely lost with what's happened before. I guess better late than never. I hope you like this chapter as well. Reviews are always loved and appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 2<p>

When the first shot rang out, Flack yelled for the shopkeeper to get down and stay down as he raced for the door, pulling his gun from his holster. Through the glass, he saw Jenkins's body jerk as a bullet hit him in the back spinning him around before he landed on his back on the concrete. Almost instantaneously, Lindsay tackled Saunders in a move that would have made any football couch proud dropping them both to the ground before a second bullet could find its mark. She didn't stay down however as she rose to her knees, her own gun drawn and used the cover of a nearby vehicle for protection as she aimed at the vehicle that the shots had come from.

Flack didn't take the time to acknowledge the pride he felt at how well she seemed to be handling the situation. There would be time for that later as he raised his radio to his mouth. "Shots fired at 1542 43rd Street. Officers down. Requesting back-up and a bus at this location."

Pushing open the door he came to the same realization that Lindsay must have since she hadn't fired her gun. Shooting at the vehicle wouldn't accomplish anything and innocent bystanders could get hurt in the process. The dark sedan was already turning on to the next street so Flack scanned the rest of the area looking for any further threats.

- CSI: NY -

The first shot fired hit Jenkins in the back before any of the three officers had a moment to react. His eyes got wide as his body jerked around and sent him crashing to the ground on his injured back. At the same moment, Lindsay reacted on pure instinct as Saunders stood there almost rooted to his spot. She launched herself at the young officer knocking them both out of range of the flying bullets. An irrational side of her made note that if this were a movie she was sitting on the couch watching with Danny, everything would be in slow motion right then. All the sounds with the exception of the gunfire would be muted. She rejected the image almost as soon as it formed and pulled her gun. Keeping low, she used the closest vehicle as a shield between her and the vehicle the shots were coming from, almost crawling to parked vehicle to peer over it.

Saunders continued to lay where he landed and Lindsay wasn't sure if it was because of the shock of being fired upon, if he was dazed from her tackle, or a combination of the two. She was sure the gun fire would bring Flack out running very soon but until then it was up to her to protect them all. She aimed her revolver at the rapidly retreating vehicle but stopped just short of pulling the trigger, recognizing that firing back would potentially cause more danger to civilians in the area than stop the people who had shot at them. Instead she kept her gun hand trained on the vehicle ready to fire if the need presented itself and focused on memorizing everything she could about the suspects' car and the shadowy figures she could see inside it.

The danger was over in less than five minutes time and then Flack was squatting next to her, his hand reaching out to gently touch her arm. "Linds, you okay?"

She nodded, still looking for additional threats. "Check Jenkins, he was hit in the back. I don't know if Saunders was hurt…"

"I saw you take him down. I swear, Lindsay, this year I'm going to suggest we start an intradepartmental football league and you are going to be our surprise star tackle." He paused a moment, glad that she smiled at his attempt of levity despite the situation. Then he got serious. "I think the danger is over; let's check on them together. Back up and an ambulance is on its way."

Lindsay nodded and holstered her gun. She and Flack, just in case someone else started to fire again, stayed low and went back to their fallen comrades. By now, Saunders was sitting up holding a hand to the back of his head. Lindsay winced as she realized that he must have hit it on the concrete when she knocked him down. Leaving Flack to check Saunders, she knelt next to Jenkins whose eyes were slowly opening. He winced in pain and started to get up only to have Lindsay put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Lie still. You've been shot but help is on its way."

"I'm okay, just sore." Jenkins insisted, still trying to sit up despite her attempts to keep him down. "Vest stopped the bullet."

Lindsay was relieved and surprised to realize that the officer had been wearing his bullet proof vest under his uniform. Despite the fact they never knew when a situation could go bad - today being an excellent example - most officers tended to forego the protective device unless they knew they were going into a potentially dangerous situation. As Jenkins sat up she could see the hole in the back of his uniform caused by the bullet but no blood that would indicate a life-threatening wound. From the position of the hole, it was scarily obvious that had he not been wearing the vest, the ambulance that was on its way would have been too late to do any good.

"My wife and I had our first child a year ago. The night our son was born, she looked at me with this serious expression on her face. Told me that our lives were about more than just the two of us now and we had to think about this child and any more that might come along. She made me promise to always wear my vest under my uniform just in case. It's hot and uncomfortable at times but every time I'm tempted to go back on my word, I think about his sweet little face and I know he's worth any moment of discomfort." Jenkins explained softly.

Several patrol cars, lights and sirens blazing, came almost careening around the corner. The ambulance, right behind the police, pulled up haphazardly behind the Avalanche, the doors opening almost before the vehicle came to a complete stop. Lindsay smiled at the wounded officer and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Let them check you out anyway. That vest might have saved your life but it doesn't prevent all injuries. I can imagine the force of that bullet slamming into your vest at least left a pretty wicked bruise."

As one of the medics knelt beside them, Lindsay stood and looked over at Flack and Saunders. The Detective was holding a handkerchief against the back of the uniformed officer's head. The young beat cop looked over at Lindsay sheepishly as she approached them. "Thanks for saving my life. If you hadn't knocked me down, the next bullet would have hit me and unlike Jenkins, I probably wouldn't have survived the shot."

The second medic took over from Flack who acknowledged that the two uniformed officers were the only injuries before standing to join Lindsay. The female CSI was staring down the road in the direction the shooter's car had come from, lost in thought. He frowned. He couldn't help but think that three months ago on her first day back in the field, she'd been taken by surprise by a murder suspect who had returned to the scene of the crime to retrieve the murder weapon he'd stashed. Flack had been in the process of trying to bring the man in for questioning and had blamed himself for not being there to prevent her from being accosted by the suspect. Now, here she was on her first solo case in the field and he felt like he'd once more let her down. He hoped that the dangerous situation hadn't caused her to have bad associations with what happened to her before.

"I can see the wheels turning in that head of yours, Lindsay. What ya thinking?"

"What was that about?" Lindsay voiced her concern out loud. "Was that just a random drive-by or was it planned?"

A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. This was typical Lindsay, the Lindsay they'd all known and loved before she'd been kidnapped and hurt. Even if she had been rattled by what had just happened and he had no doubt she had been just as rattled as he had been, her focus was going to be on the case itself. "I don't know. I didn't get a good enough look at the license plates to get a number…"

"No plates on the car; they must have been removed. Three people inside: driver, front passenger, and our shooter in the back seat. I don't know if they were male or female."

"Damn." Flack drew the word out impressed that she'd been able to catch so much in such a little bit of time. "Okay, I'm guessing until we know otherwise, we'll have to treat these as two separate crime scenes, right?" Lindsay nodded in answer his question. "I'm sure Mac or Jo will be barreling in here shortly. What do we need to do first?"

"Tape off the entire street. We need to see if there are any shell casings in the street and mark them. I need to continue processing the original scene."

"On it." Flack promised but then stopped. "First of all though, you got your vest in the truck? Somehow it seems like a good idea not to take any more chances."

Lindsay nodded and retrieved her vest as Flack did the same. As she returned to the alleyway, she noticed the medics had removed Jenkins's uniform shirt and vest in order to get a better look at his back. She grabbed a couple of large evidence envelopes from her kit and then knelt down beside the medic. She was almost positive both officers would be taken to the hospital to be checked out before being released; protocol dictated it. "I need to keep his shirt and vest for evidence."

"Please take it." Jenkins encouraged her. "I don't want my wife to see it. She's going to be freaked out by this anyway; she doesn't have to know how bad it could have been."

Lindsay didn't argue that the bruise he'd have on his back would tell his wife all she needed to know. She was in a unique position of being able to understand both sides of the situation. She was a wife who worried every time that Danny was injured in the line of duty and she was also a cop who didn't want her husband to worry needlessly when the same thing happened to her. The worry was going to be there regardless. She allowed the medic to continue his job as she bagged the items and marked the envelopes. As she knelt beside her dead body once more she saw a second Avalanche pull up and Mac climb out of the truck. He caught her eye and she gave him a smile to reassure him that she was okay before returning to the task before her. It was only a matter of time before he would join her to make sure that she really was okay but it didn't bother her. He cared too much not to worry just a little but he would go to Flack first to get an update on what happened.

By now, someone from the ME's office had arrived to collect the body of the overdose victim and Lindsay was glad she'd gotten her pictures before the shooting had happened. She released the body to them and started to look for the needles and other evidence she'd been about to have the uniformed officers look for when the shooting started. Her phone beeped at her side and she smiled softly already anticipating the message. Sure enough a one character message awaited her from Danny.

_?_

In their line of work, dangerous situations were bound to occur and it was unfair to expect the noninvolved party to not be worried. However, it wasn't always easy to drop everything for a long drawn out reassurance that everything was fine. That concern had only gotten worse after the kidnapping. Danny understood that she wanted to do her job without feeling like he was always checking up on her just as she understood that he couldn't help but worry about her. Therefore, they had developed a text shorthand for such situations. If something bad happened on a crime scene, the partner that wasn't involved would text a question mark that basically said "I heard what happened, are you okay?" The person involved in the dangerous situation, who probably was pressed for time only had to text back a one letter reply. _A_ meant that everything was fine and there was no need to worry; we'll talk when we can. _N_ meant no immediate emergency but we should get together as soon as possible. _H_ meant everything was not okay and that you should come immediately. No reply at all after ten minutes meant the very worst had happened and it was okay to break any and all land speed records arriving at the scene. She quickly sent him the letter _A_ and returned the phone to her pocket. She resumed her search of the alleyway.

Mac joined her a few minutes later. "Flack told me what happened. Said you did a real good job with everything; not that I'm surprised. You think your DB is connected to what happened?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It looks like a simple OD…"

"But?" Mac questioned, trusting her judgment.

"But nothing really. Everything points to it being nothing more than a junkie getting a fatal fix but after that case earlier this year with Tessa James, I don't like to settle for simple appearances."

Mac nodded. That was a case that still haunted him, maybe not quite as bad as not solving the bank robbery turn murders case before Lindsay had become a victim did but haunted him non-the-less. The young woman had been murdered because she'd seen something she shouldn't have and even though she'd cryptically tried to involve him he hadn't known enough until she showed up dead in an alley similar to this one. It was a case that made them all think twice about the way they made assumptions in the field. "Find anything suspicious or that would indicate foul play?"

She shook her head. "There's not much evidence of anything here. The alley is clean, well as clean as a dirty alley can be. No signs of drugs or of a struggle. Sort of like he just walked in here and sat down to die. Maybe we'll know more once Sid finishes the autopsy. What about you? You or Flack find anything that would give us an idea of who was taking target practice at us?"

"Not yet; we weren't able to recover any shell casings so the shooter must have made sure they fell into the car rather than the street. Now comes the hard part of trying to recover actual bullets wherever they may have impacted. Although unless they hit something soft, they'll likely be too damaged for us to get much off them."

Lindsay nodded knowing that his job was very much like finding a needle in a haystack. "I have Jenkins's uniform and vest bagged and tagged. The bullet is still in the vest."

Mac smiled. Though he wouldn't have wished today's scene on the young woman who was just getting her life back together, he knew that she would have taken every precaution to get any evidence possible from the scene. "Hopefully it'll give us something to work with. I don't like the idea of someone being out there using our people as target practice. I want them caught before they cause worse harm."

"How's Hawkes?"

"The doctor removed several shards of glass and then stitched him up. I don't know if the doctor gave him something extremely strong for pain or if Hawkes is just not use to painkillers but by the time I drove him home, he was pretty loopy. I talked to Camille and she was going to come by and check on him as soon as she got off from work. He'll be fine and will probably enjoy the extra attention if he comes down off the meds enough to remember it."

Lindsay returned his smile with one of her own. "I'm glad he's going to be okay."

Mac nodded agreeing with her. "Okay, I'd better get back to processing my scene so we can get that street reopened. Flack is questioning the shop owners once again to see if they saw anything suspicious about the vehicle. He wasn't very hopeful they'd have any more information this time than they did when he questioned them about the body."

Lindsay removed her gloves and turned them inside out to put in her pocket to dispose of later. "Like I said, I've got nothing more here to go on. Want some help looking for bullets?"

Mac nodded. "Want to walk me through everything you remember? Maybe it'll give us a better idea where to look for bullets."

For the first time in several months, Lindsay felt like she was at home once again. This was the job as she loved it, feeling useful and not like her every move was being questioned. This was the way things had been before the attack and even though she was sure she'd come down off the adrenaline high later on and realize just how scary the moment had been, she wouldn't change it for anything.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Sid, tell me you have something." Lindsay implored a couple hours later as she stepped into autopsy. So far she was no closer to knowing anything more about the overdose victim. She'd processed the clothes he'd been wearing but they hadn't given her anything new to work with.

"I did a ten card of his prints and sent them upstairs to be processed but for now he's still a John Doe. COD was definitely an overdose. Your vic had more drugs in his system than most pharmacies carry. It was only a matter of time before it killed him; based on a hair sample I could determine he's been hitting the drugs pretty hard for the past five months. I put TOD about midnight."

Lindsay frowned. "His body wasn't discovered until around two this afternoon. The body wasn't even hidden. Hard to believe the body was lying there for fourteen hours without being seen."

Sid crooked his finger motioning her to follow him to the autopsy table. "Then what else I found might help you with that."

He pulled the sheet back and rolled the body up on its side. "I found two different signs of blood pooling. This along his back suggests that he was lying flat when he died. Then there's another distinctive pooling from the waist down that indicates at some point the body was moved into the sitting or slumped position you found him in the alley."

"A body dump? But why? To cover up a murder? Did you find any signs that would indicate maybe he didn't voluntarily take the drugs?"

Sid shook his head. "Maybe it wasn't to cover up a murder but to set up one. Maybe the people who placed the body in the alley put it there to lure their intended victims there."

Lindsay swallowed hard, contemplating Sid's theory. She'd much rather believe the shooting had been a random attack then a cold blooded murder attempt. A cold shiver ran down her spine at the thought that someone out there was targeting cops. No matter how much she didn't want her thoughts going there, she couldn't help but think of the last person who had a grudge against cops. Because of the treatment he received in jail, John Atwood, one of her kidnappers and torturers, had made it his mission to seek retribution for all the pain he had received in jail on Lindsay once he discovered she was a cop. It was a pain that, no matter how much she tried to put it completely behind her and pretend it didn't affect her anymore, still managed on occasion to almost totally incapacitate her. On those occasions, which were happening less and less frequently where only her husband was a witness to them, it took everything Danny was capable of to bring her out of it. She wasn't sure if she was really capable of working through someone else's revenge scheme. Not that she would ever admit it out loud or give Mac or anyone else reason to doubt her ability to do her job.

"What's the latest on the two officers that were with you at the crime scene today?" Sid asked, oblivious to her distress.

Making sure her expression did not betray her inner turmoil, Lindsay answered him. "They were checked over at the ER and released almost immediately. Jenkins is going to have a pretty bad bruise on his back but given the alternative, he's not complaining. Saunders has a bump on his head but no sign of a concussion. From what I heard, he's more embarrassed that he was taken down by a - and I quote - a CSI and a girl no less. I'm pretty sure I heard Mac muttering under his breath wondering if Sinclair was going to bench Saunders the same way he benched me."

Sid nodded. "I for one would have to agree with that sentiment." He reached out and affectionately tweaked her chin. "I believe the saying is what's good for the goose is good for the gander. In case I didn't say it earlier, I'm very glad you weren't hurt today."

"Thanks Sid." Lindsay said her goodbyes and headed back up the elevator to the lab. She glanced at her watch and groaned. Her shift should end in ten minutes but she didn't see any way she could leave until the prints came back on their John Doe. If Sid was right that his body had been placed there to lure them to the scene, his real identity might be their only chance to figure out who shot at them earlier. Danny would be on in another hour so she should call him so he could get someone to watch Lucy until she could get off.

Emerging from the elevator, she reached for her phone and dialed Danny's number. She frowned when it went straight to voice mail. She was just about to try their home line when Danny stepped out in the hallway from their office. The look he was giving her was hard to read, almost like he was drinking in her image like a man who'd gone without food or water for several days. Seeing him standing there, it hit Lindsay all of a sudden how much she'd missed his presence, his reassuring touches, all afternoon. Though she prided herself on being an independent person, she couldn't deny that her husband was the touchstone that kept her grounded when her world spun out of control.

Without saying a word, he was suddenly at her side, taking her by the hand and all but dragging her down the hall. He opened the door to a supply closet, one of the few rooms in the entire lab that had no glass walls. He ushered her inside and closed the door behind him. Before she could protest or ask what was going on, he had her pressed against the wall, his body flushed against hers. His hands were on either side of her face, almost clutching her desperately. Without a single word, his lips crashed down on hers in a mind numbing kiss that took her breath away.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: This story backs up just a little to the hours leading up to the end of chapter 2 from Danny's POV. I had planned to go a little further but Danny's emotions took longer than I expected. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 3<p>

"_Shots fired at 1542 43rd__ Street. Officers down. Requesting back-up and a bus at this location."_

The words of Flack's radio message from a few hours earlier seemed determined to haunt Danny no matter what he tried to do the rest of the day. He had turned on the police scanner he and Lindsay owned after Lindsay had called from the Avalanche excited to tell him that she was once more working solo on a case. He hadn't been anticipating trouble but was listening mostly just for the opportunity to hear her voice. He didn't care if that seemed sappy to some but even just her voice radioing in her arrival to a scene made his pulse quicken. He'd only been half paying attention when Flack's voice, sounding just a little frantic, announced the danger they had found themselves in. Almost instantly, he'd reached for his cell phone to send his one-character text message but some inner sense that hadn't completely panicked told him to hold off. If she was being shot at, she wouldn't be able to stop right away to answer even if it was only one letter and then he'd only panic even more. So he'd forced himself to wait until he heard other units as they called in their arrival announce that the scene was safe.

It seemed like it took forever after he hit the send button for his phone to beep that he had a reply but he knew that it really wasn't that long. The fact that she'd replied at all was a big relief because it told him that even if she was one of the officers down it wasn't critical, but, still, he held his breath as he looked to see what letter she'd sent back. He had to look more than a few times to assure himself that it really was the letter _a_ and not just wishful thinking on his part. She was okay and he knew that should have eased all of his lingering fears but it didn't. There was a knot in the pit of his stomach that hadn't started to unwind itself with knowledge that she was okay. It wasn't that he didn't trust the veracity her message. While it might occur to him to downplay the seriousness of a situation in his response if it had been him in the dangerous situation, he knew that Lindsay would be completely honest with him. He couldn't explain his unease but it took everything inside him not to bolt out the front door and head to the crime scene the same way he would have if the answer had indicated he needed to be there.

As the next couple of hours passed, Danny tried to distract himself with mundane chores that he'd promised Lindsay he would take care of. He took a load of whites out of the dryer that Lindsay had washed and dried the night before. Before he folded them and put them away, he reached again for his cell phone with the idea that he'd just send her a text message that told her he loved her Before he typed out the message, he put the phone away and folded and put away the clothes. He paid several bills that were due resisting the urge to put in a call to either Flack or Mac just to see what had really happened. They were busy working and didn't need to hand hold a nervous Nelly husband who was searching for reassurances that weren't necessary. Besides, if Lindsay found out he was calling she would think - obviously rightly so - that he was checking up on her. After that he gathered the colored clothes from the hamper and carried them to the laundry room to be washed as well. After the machine was loaded and running, he once again grabbed his phone. Why not call and see if Lindsay wanted him to start something for supper so she didn't have to worry about it when she got home? Because Lindsay had already said that she would stop and pick up something quick for the three of them since Danny would have to eat on the run to get to work on time. He knew he didn't need a reason to talk to his wife but he didn't want Lindsay to take this almost frantic need to hear her voice to mean that he didn't think she was capable of doing her job. These past three months had been hard on her self-esteem and he didn't want to do anything to add to her discomfort at work. He could live with the knot of tension in his stomach until he saw her this evening; he knew she was okay and that was what was important.

Picking up Lucy from school was a little more distracting. Once they were back at the apartment, they put a leash on Reese's and took the puppy for a walk. Danny always insisted on holding the leash because even though the dog was still a puppy, she was already stronger than Lucy was and he was afraid that Lucy would be pulled over and hurt if she tried to walk the puppy herself. Lucy never complained, she was happy to run along side the blondish-brown canine and pet her as Danny held the leash.

They had just walked back into the apartment from their walk to hear the phone ringing. Danny eagerly scooped it up hoping that Lindsay would be on the other end even it was just to say that the case had her running late. Instead it was his mother and he tried not the sound disappointed, especially since he wanted to ask her about babysitting tomorrow.

"Hey Ma."

"_I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time." _The sound of her voice did nothing to alleviate the tension in his gut but she did make him feel marginally better in a way that only a mother could.

"Nah, Luce and I just got back from walking the puppy. What's up?"

"_I was hoping to talk you and Lindsay into letting your dad and I keep Lucy over night. There's a small carnival going on at the church tonight that I think she'd love. I thought maybe she could spend the night and then go with us to your aunt Mariella's tomorrow. She's been a little depressed since her son and his family moved Ohio a couple of months ago. I think Lucy could cheer her up. She can even bring the puppy with her."_

Danny smiled wondering not for the first time if his mother had the power to read minds. She always seemed to know when he needed something. "I think Lucy would love that. I'll pack her an overnight bag and bring her and Reese's over now. Thanks Ma, Lindsay and I were hoping to have some alone time tomorrow so this works great."

"_All you ever have to do is ask; the two of you know that. I'll see you soon. Don't worry about supper for Lucy; we'll eat at the carnival. Love you, son."_

Getting Lucy and the puppy ready for an overnight stay with her grandparents was a very effective distraction for Danny. It never failed to amaze him just how much stuff a toddler and a puppy needed for an overnight. Hell, he flew halfway across the country to Montana when Lindsay had to testify and didn't take so much as a change of underwear but it felt like he was packing up half the apartment for Lucy and Reese's. Still, soon, he was driving over the Verrazano bridge to Staten Island where his parents lived. After dropping off his daughter and her pet, he was once again at a loss to what to do. It was still way too early for him to go to work but the thought of going back to the apartment and trying to find other things to distract him until it was time to go in. As he headed back into Manhattan, he decided he was going on to the lab regardless of what people might think.

He parked in the garage and took the elevator up to the 35th floor. Nobody paid him any attention as he ambled down the hall towards his office. He tried not to appear too obvious as he glanced into each of the labs looking for Lindsay but she was nowhere to be seen. Jo was the only one in the office she shared with the married couple. She looked up as he came in, a look of surprise on her face.

"Is it that late already?" She glanced at her watch and then to Danny, a knowing look creeping into her eyes. "Lindsay went down to autopsy to get a report from Sid on her DB from earlier. I take it you heard about the shooting this afternoon. I was out on another case but I got the full low down once I got back. She wasn't hurt. Thanks to Lindsay, one officer has a bit of a headache but at least is alive to feel the pain. In fact neither of the two officers who were taken to the hospital were badly injured."

Danny nodded absently, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. While it was nice to hear further confirmation that his wife was okay, her text message had already told him that. If anything, Jo's words only caused the knot of tension in his gut to get tighter. He'd been trying to cling to some home that when the shots had been fired, Lindsay hadn't even been close enough to be in danger but apparently that hadn't been the case.

Jo reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. "Danny, she's fine. Amazingly enough after everything she's been through and with all the trouble she had with the sound of gunfire right after the attack, she doesn't even seem rattled by what happened. Just determined to figure out who decided to take pot shots at a bunch of cops and why. But I know that no words from me, however reassuring I might try to be, are going to replace you laying eyes on her and seeing the truth for yourself. Or that no matter how okay Lindsay is, seeing you will make her feel infinitely better. So, I'm about to head over the precinct to question a suspect and leave the office for the two of you."

After Jo left, Danny paced back and forth in the office. He really appreciated what the southern woman with a heart of gold had to say and it did make him feel a little more at ease about coming in early but still he kind of hoped that he didn't run into anyone else until Lindsay came back up and he had a chance to see her for himself.

He was in the middle of yet another pace across the front of the office when he saw the elevator open and Lindsay step out of it. Just the sight of her cause that omnipresent knot to twist in his gut like a knife. He saw her pull out her phone and dial a number. Almost instantly he felt his phone vibrate at his side and he knew it was Lindsay calling him. He didn't answer because all of a sudden, he didn't trust his voice. If he answered, she would know immediately that he was emotionally all over the place.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was so beautiful; he'd always thought so even though he knew she would blush and deny it if he told her so. But never had she looked more beautiful as she paused in the hallway ending her fruitless call to him. He had believed all afternoon that he just needed to see her, hear her voice and all would be fine. But now that she was right in front of him, he knew it wasn't enough. He couldn't be content with just a visual or audio confirmation that all was fine; he needed a more physical affirmation as well. He stepped out of the office so that she could see him. He wasn't sure if she would be happy or upset that he'd come in early but as he stared at her like a man who had been marooned on a deserted island for years without female companionship, he was pretty sure she looked more relieved to see him than anything else.

He didn't waste a second getting to her side but didn't say a word or give her the opportunity to speak. Taking her by the hand he started to lead her down the hall unsure where he was even going. He needed to get her alone before he lost the last remnant of self control he had. Where he could he take her so that they could be alone without fear that anyone would see them? Damn all the glass in the lab; it didn't leave him many options. The locker room was out of the question. Too many people came in and out of there all day even if it wasn't shift change. The roof would take too long to get to. Seeing a supply closet that didn't have glass walls, not even so much as a glass pane in the doorway, he yanked open to doorway and all but pushed her inside. He closed the door behind him and discreetly locked the door to further ensure privacy.

Without saying a word, he gently sandwiched her between the wall and his body. There was no part of his body that wasn't touching hers but he still wanted to be even closer. His lips crashed down on hers in a searing kiss that poured all the emotion he'd been suppressing all afternoon into it. In all their years today, he didn't believe he'd ever kissed her with quite the same intensity as he was currently. He could feel the way Lindsay melted into him; any surprise by his presence or the sexually charged kiss not showing as she returned the kiss with equal passion. Only when the need for oxygen surpassed the need for the physical contact did Danny break the kiss but even then kept his body pressed against hers so closely that not even a beam from a laser could pass between them.

For just a moment, Lindsay could only focus on catching her breath but then she looked him deeply in the eyes. "Danny?" The one word question was all she could manage.

Danny knew he had confused her. Sure, since the kidnapping, he'd been more likely to show her affection at work but nothing like this which was why he'd brought her to someplace they wouldn't be caught. She wasn't complaining, the way her body was responding to his confirmed that; she just didn't know what had brought this on. He rushed to explain, not really sure that he could.

"I knew you were okay. Okay? I didn't doubt your message but what I didn't count on was that even knowing that you were fine, I wasn't okay. I wasn't from the minute I heard Flack call for back-up. I tried to fight my feelings 'cause I didn't want to make you feel like I was smothering you but I was dying inside all afternoon until I just couldn't take it any more. I know its all part of the job and things like today are going to happen and while I wouldn't ask you to not be who you are I can't not be who I am either. So please forgive me if I just needed to hold you for a moment."

Lindsay didn't answer but simply rested her head on his chest. Danny was pretty sure she could hear his heart thumping loudly beneath her ear as he waited for her response. After a moment or two of silence which was starting to worry him. Just when he thought he could stand the silence no more, she titled her head up and kissed him. It wasn't the same searing kiss he'd greeted her with but it held such passion and promise that he knew she wasn't mad.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I guess I got so caught up in everything that was going on that I didn't even stop to think about how any of this might affect you. I know I responded to your message but I should have taken a moment after I finished processing the scene to call you and fill you in on what happened. Of course it scared you; you don't have to apologize for that. Both of us know how quickly everything that is important to us can be taken away and I don't think we can fault each other for imagining the worst. To be honest, I don't think I realized just how much I needed to see you and have you hold me until you were standing there in the hallway."

Danny eased her away from the wall just enough so that he could put his arms around her back. He began rubbing circles in the small of her back, knowing that always helped to settle her nerves when things were tense. He knew he needed to let her return to work but couldn't bring himself to release her just yet. Now that he had satisfied the intense urge to hold and touch her, he needed to know the full story. "How bad was it?"

"Bad enough but not as bad as it could have been. One minute we were standing there discussing the crime scene and the next minute this car is firing shots at us. I thought Officer Jenkins so I knocked Saunders down before he could be hit as well. Fortunately Jenkins was wearing his vest so he wasn't seriously hurt. Despite what happened to me before, I wasn't scared. I guess I didn't have time to be scared as it was happening and afterward it just would have seemed ridiculous to be scared."

He heard what she didn't voice just as clearly as what she actually said. No matter how much she wanted to be unaffected by what happened, it would eventually catch up with her the same way it would catch up with anybody in that situation even without any traumatic, violent past situations. It would hit her tonight while she was home alone and trying to sleep and he hated like anything that he wouldn't be there for her. But in the end, he knew she would be okay and was strong enough to face those demons with or without his being there. He just wished he could make it easier for her. Maybe he couldn't be with her overnight but he could help to make the rest of her evening okay.

"Why do I have a feeling you will be staying late tonight?"

Lindsay smiled at him; this was an area they were both just alike on. "I'd feel better if we at least had an identity for our DB. We have no idea who shot at us an if or what they might try the next time if we don't discover who they are. Who's watching Lucy?"

"My parents. Ma called and wanted to keep Lucy overnight and tomorrow so she's set for the night. I still have a little bit of time before I'm on the clock. How about I run down to that hamburger place you like so much and get us some supper. We can eat together while we wait for your results to come in. How about it?"

"Sounds wonderful." Lindsay assured him. He kissed the top of her head and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent as if she were a drug he was happily addicted to. It took a couple more long kisses before he released her finally and unlocked the door. He glanced both ways to make sure that no one was paying them any attention and then nodded, letting her know the coast was clear.

As he headed for the elevator, he turned back to see Lindsay heading for one of the labs. He watched her go as he waited for the elevator door. When it finally did, he had to wait as Chief Sinclair got off the elevator. The chief of detectives didn't speak as he passed the younger man but headed down the hall toward Mac's office. Danny couldn't help but feel a new tightening in his gut as he entered the elevator and waited for the door to close. He could only hope that Sinclair's presence didn't mean more bad news for Lindsay.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: This story is playing out in my mind quicker than I can get it down on paper. I have all these scenes playing in my head like an episode at times that I can't get to paper or the computer to put them down so I hope they stay saved on some sort of memory chip in my brain until I get it captured on something more permanent. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I expected to go further with this chapter but my scene with Sinclair took longer than I thought it would.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 4<p>

"I had officers dodging bullets at a crime scene. My phone is ringing off the hook all afternoon from the mayor's office and reporters wanting to know if it was an isolated incident or if the NYPD is under attack. Right now I could care less about what they want to know; however, I have the same questions that they have and I want to know as well. What do we know, Taylor?"

Mac Taylor looked up from the paperwork he was studying as Chief Sinclair made his demands upon entering his office. Mac sighed. His phone had been ringing just as much since he'd come back from the crime scene and in the back of his mind every time he answered the phone, he expected it to be Sinclair asking these very questions. The fact that the Chief of Detectives had decided to come to the lab in person told him just how seriously they were taking this situation.

"I don't know. We don't have much to go on. We are checking every angle but as much as I hate to say it, we may just have to treat it as an isolated attack until or if there is another attack."

Sinclair sank into a chair in front of Mac's desk and shook his head. "I don't like that. How can we ensure the safety of our people if we don't know for sure there's a threat?"

Mac picked up a piece of paper from his desk. "I don't know what you are going to do, but I'm not taking any chances. I'm issuing a memo to all my people that until further notice they are to assume there is a danger on all crime scenes and bullet proof vests are mandatory. We were very fortunate today that the only officer hit by one of those bullets was already wearing his vest. If- and I hope there isn't- another attack, I don't want that to be a lucky break on our part."

Leveling the head of the crime lab with a look that didn't reveal his inner feelings, Sinclair hit Mac with the question he'd been expecting since the man arrived in his office. "Did I understand correctly that Detective Lindsay Messer was the CSI on the scene?"

Mac nodded, ready to back up Lindsay completely if it came to that. He was proud of the way the young woman had handled herself on the scene. No other officer could or would have done better. "She was the only one I had available to send. Dr. Hawkes was injured in the lab earlier and had to go to the ER for stitches. I don't have any regrets about allowing her to handle…"

"Relax Taylor, I'm not questioning your decisions. I understand that she probably got the best look at our suspects. I read the report but I'd like to talk to her about what she saw myself. See if there isn't something else…"

Mac frowned. He wasn't sure putting Lindsay and Sinclair in a room together, even if he was there to mediate, was a good thing. Lindsay had handled her forced restrictions quite well, much better than Danny had handled the situation, but he knew it had been a blow to her still fragile self esteem as she dealt with the after effects of her rape and time at the hands of Atwood and his crew. Sinclair might be saying he only wanted to talk to her about what she saw but if he strayed into her job performance, Mac wasn't sure how he or Lindsay would react. "She already told everything she remembered to Flack."

Sinclair nodded. "I know but that was at the scene while everything was crazy. But I'm willing to bet that since she's been back here in the lab, she's replayed everything that's happened in her mind at least a thousand times. There may be something that she can remember now that didn't occur to her at the scene. Like you said, we don't have much to go on; what can it hurt?"

The case, nothing; Mac had to agree. He just wasn't as sure about the effect to Lindsay herself. He knew he was being over protective but it was a role he'd easily cast himself in both as a friend and a boss where the young woman; hell, where all of his people were concerned. Knowing that Sinclair wasn't going to take no for an answer, Mac glanced through the glass and saw Lindsay was in one of the labs. He picked up the phone and called the lab, requesting that Lindsay come to his office.

Mac saw her expression as she neared his door and saw Sinclair through the glass walls. The expression was only fleeting as she schooled her features to be completely neutral before she thought anyone could see her but he saw it nonetheless. It was a look of fear and uncertainty and he wished like anything he could make this different for her. By the time she stepped into his office, she looked completely calm and professional and barely spared the chief of detectives a glance.

"You wanted to see me, Mac?"

Mac stood and motioned for her to sit on the couch. He wanted to go around his desk and sit beside her to show Sinclair that if he started in on Lindsay he'd have to go through him first but instead he sat back down at his desk. Lindsay was tough, maybe even tougher than she or anyone else gave her credit for; she could handle herself just fine without him setting himself up as her protector in Danny's absence. Besides, he didn't want to give Sinclair any indication that he'd been correct in trying to coddle Lindsay in the wake of what happened.

Sinclair got right to the point. "Detective Messer, first of all, I'm very glad that you weren't injured this afternoon and that you were able to protect not only yourself but a fellow officer. I would expect nothing less from Taylor's people. I know you are working hard on this case but I want to ask you to go back over what happened this afternoon. You apparently got the best view of what happened and might hold the key to us finding the people responsible and stopping them before they hurt someone worse if that's what they intend to do. Do you mind?"

Lindsay shook her head, almost imperceptivity relaxing as she realized she wasn't in trouble. "Of course not. I don't know what else I can tell you that I didn't tell Detective Flack at the scene but I'll try."

Mac could tell she was in her element when discussing evidence and her findings so he hoped he could further relax her by shifted the conversation into the direction of the original crime scene before Sinclair took over. "Until we know for sure otherwise, we are treating the two crime scenes separately with the understanding they might be linked. Lindsay, do we have anything yet on our DB?"

"He's still a John Doe. We ran his prints through AFIS but didn't get any hits, which is a little surprising given his drug habit. According to Sid, our victim's been a user approximately five months but he apparently didn't wade in to the shallow end of drug use but dove head first into the deep end right away. I'm running a facial recognition program of his picture to those in the missing person's database to see if we get anything there. I think that's our better chance than putting his picture on the news to see if anyone recognizes him."

Mac nodded at the wisdom of her words but Sinclair raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

Mac answered for her. "That kind of hard drug use changes a person quickly. He could be your brother and you might not even recognize him. Anything else that might give us a clue to his identity?"

With a shake of her head, Lindsay continued to explain. "His jeans and T-shirt were dirty but not necessarily indicative of someone living on the streets but not fancy enough to suggest he was some rich frat boy whose parents had been shielding him from the consequence of his actions. There was one thing of interest that might tie him into the shooting but nothing definitive. Sid says there was evidence of two places of lividity. He originally died flat on his back but was later moved into the position we found him in in the alley."

"Body dump?"

Lindsay shrugged. "That's the thing, the body didn't look like it had been dumped there. He looked like he'd been sitting there when he died. If he was dumped, someone took the trouble to make it look natural. Could be our shooters or someone totally unrelated. There's just no way to know."

Sinclair nodded. "Did anything seem out of the ordinary when you arrived on scene; anything that might have suggested that it was a set up?"

Lindsay once again shook her head. "Everything seemed completely normal. I had just approached Jenkins and Saunders to get them to help me scan the alley for evidence when the shots were fired."

"You got a good look at the car though?" Sinclair asked remembering what had been written in the report. "Did you see it before the attack?"

"No, I wasn't focusing on the traffic, just the crime scene. As soon as the shots were fired, Jenkins fell from being hit by the bullet and I pulled Saunders down with me. As soon as we were down and out of the line of fire, I pulled my gun and used a parked car for cover. That's when I got a good look at the suspect vehicle. It was a dark midsized sedan. I'm not sure if it was black or just a really dark blue. I think it might have been a Chevy Malibu but I'm no where near sure of that make or model. The windows were tinted which prevented me from seeing anything but silhouettes of the people inside but the tint wasn't dark enough to be illegal. The plates had been removed."

Sinclair wrote down a few notes, impressed but not really surprised by her attention to detail. Evidence and facts were essential to her job. "Got any idea of how old the vehicle might have been?"

It was a question that would probably be unfair to a civilian to ask but not unexpected for a police officer trained to notice everything. Lindsay considered the question carefully. "Not brand new but not too old. I'd say maybe a 2009 or 2010. It appeared to be in pretty good condition, nothing that would make it stand out from all the other midsized sedans in the area."

"I understand that you didn't shoot back." Sinclair's words were neutral but Lindsay bristled anyway as if she had been expecting a recrimination.

"I didn't freeze if that's what you are insinuating. My quick reaction and attention to detail should more than prove that." Had it been anyone else, the words themselves could be construed as insubordinate but Lindsay's voice was so soft-spoken and meek that it took any sting out of them.

Still, Sinclair looked at Mac. "Could you give us a few minutes alone?"

Mac frowned. This is what he'd been afraid of. There was no way he was going to leave Lindsay to deal with this alone. "With all due respect, as her supervisor, I think I should be here."

The look Sinclair gave him was piercing and unwavering. "With all due respect, Detective Taylor; as your immediate supervisor, I wasn't really asking but issuing an order in a polite way. Please step out of the office for a few minutes."

Obviously unhappy with the demand, Mac shot Lindsay a sympathetic look before almost storming out of the office. Even at following the order, the way he hovered just outside the glass door, he was making the statement that he wasn't going far away. Lindsay was grateful that he stayed close; she was feeling uncomfortable left alone with the chief of detectives. It wasn't the same sense of discomfort that she still couldn't control having around unfamiliar men. This was the same feeling she had gotten as a teenager on those rare times when she was called to the principal's office even if she wasn't the one in trouble. She took a deep breath trying to steady her nerves.

Sinclair regarded her carefully not leaving the chair he'd been sitting in since his arrival. After a couple of minutes the silence got almost painful. He cleared his throat. "Tell me Detective Messer, what was going through your head when you chose not to shoot at the suspect vehicle?"

Almost immediately Lindsay felt herself getting on the defensive. He hadn't been there; he didn't know how well she had handled herself at the crime scene. If it hadn't been for her, Saunders might have been shot. "I had my gun out and trained on the car. I could have shot at it but despite what movies try to convince people, a simple gunshot doesn't usually incapacitate a vehicle and could have potentially harmed bystanders. I wasn't willing to jeopardize the safety of others when it wasn't likely to help us capture the suspects. I'm sorry if you think you could have done better…."

Sinclair raised his hands in protest. "Easy, Detective Messer; I never meant to imply that you did something wrong. You made a split second decision in the heat of the moment and you followed protocol. All of this you did after protecting a fellow officer. I had my concerns about you three months ago after getting reports that you were panicking and freezing in similar situations but you passed your re-qualification tests with flying colors. You don't have to prove anything to me."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at the chief of detectives. "If I don't have anything to prove to you, then why was I required to work with another CSI for two months after passing all of my qualifications?"

Sinclair sighed. "It had nothing to do with me doubting your ability to do your job but with me trying to prevent you from letting this job prevent you from recovering the way you should."

Shaking her head, Lindsay gave him a look of disbelief. "I don't understand…"

"No, I don't expect you do." Sinclair admitted. "I know my restrictions haven't seemed fair to you or to your co-workers but I really had your best interests at heart. I had a friend who went through the academy with me. Even during our academy days, it was more than obvious that his blood bled blue. He had a dedication to the job that you don't see very often; in fact he'd probably would have fit in perfectly on Taylor's team with the rest of you. The only thing in his life that meant more to him than his job was his wife. They were probably a perfect pair; I only wish my marriage had been half as strong as theirs was. Someone broke into their house one night while they were sleeping. My buddy woke up as the suspect dragged him out of the bed and handcuffed him to a chair. He was helpless to do anything but watch as the suspect raped and murdered my friend's wife. My buddy didn't have so much as a scratch on him but couldn't do anything after the suspect left for hours before someone came by the house."

Lindsay could feel her heart pounding at the hearing of Sinclair's story. Since her own painful experience at the hands of John Atwood, she found she had a heightened sensitivity to hearing about similar attacks on others. Her own story was bad enough but she couldn't imagine what it would have done to Danny if he'd been forced to watch her suffer at Atwood's hands and be unable to do anything to help her. It was difficult enough for him when she fought past the nightmares that still sometimes plagued her.

Sinclair continued. "He took off a couple of weeks but then he was back at work like nothing had happened. If anything he threw himself into work as if it were all he had left. Everyone was impressed with how well he was dealing with the situation. If his hands trembled a little on a crime scene or if were a little snappy at the end of the shift who could blame him? The department didn't have mandatory counseling after traumatic experiences like it does now but none of us would have thought he needed it even if they did. We didn't realize just how bad things were for him until he went home one night after work and took his own life. The note he left said he just couldn't take seeing all the bad this job had to reveal after knowing what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it. He could have taken a leave of absence but he didn't know how NOT to do the job and it was too much for him."

Sinclair took just a moment to reign in the emotions that still threatened to get the best of him after all these years. Then he continued. "His death has haunted me ever since and I swore when I came into a position of authority that I would do everything in my power to make sure the same thing didn't happen to someone else. Think me unfair all you want but I stand by my decision. I don't care how strong a person is, going through what you were forced to go through affects you. Add in the stress of this job and it's a recipe for disaster. It cost my friend his life. Don't think I don't know that Taylor spends more time in this lab than he does his own apartment ever since 9-ll. You are as dedicated to this job as both of them and I wanted to make doing your job and recovering as easy as I possibly could. If I needlessly hurt you, please know it wasn't my intent but I wouldn't change what I did for anything. I don't think the lab could survive losing two of its best teammates."

Lindsay raised an eyebrow. "Two?"

A rare smile crossed Sinclair's features. "Don't think I don't know that if something happened to you, we would have also lost that husband of yours. Right now he's standing out in that hallway with Taylor looking like he's ready to come in here and feed me something other than what he has in that take-out bag."

Lindsay blushed slightly. "He's my biggest protector."

Sinclair nodded. "That's the way it should be." Then as if he was worried she would take it the wrong way, Sinclair added. "Not that I think you need protecting; from what I heard your tackle at the crime scene proves that. I mean, he's your husband and nobody loves you the way he does; he should be your biggest supporter and protector as you are his. Now why don't you go out there and let them know that I didn't ream you across any coals or something like that. And for the record, I'm glad that you are okay - both from what happened today and four months ago. You are too valuable to the department."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Linds, you look exhausted. Your shift ended several hours ago. Why don't you go home and get some rest? Danny urged his wife once he caught her just about to fall asleep at a table in the breakroom.

She shook herself awake and blinked sleepily at him. She knew he was right but she just couldn't bring herself to leave. "Finding the identity of our John Doe may be the only link we have to discovering who shot at us earlier. The program is still running the facial recognition program against our missing persons database. I want to be here when it finishes."

He'd been keeping an eye on her all evening, without being too obvious about it. Though they all had a tendency of getting caught up in cases from time to time and not wanting to leave them, he was almost positive that her reluctance to go home had more to do with the demons she thought might haunt her while she slept than a belief that some case-breaking evidence was going to come to light. No matter how well she'd handled herself at the scene or how okay she was with everything; he was pretty sure that would change once she gave in to the sleep she desperately needed. Her nightmares always seemed to surface when she was overly tired which she currently obviously was and with the excitement of the shooting, it was almost a guarantee that her dreams would be harsh. He'd give anything to be able to take her home and hold her throughout the night no matter what her subconscious threw at her. But while her shift had ended, his was still in its early hours. He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "If you won't go home, will you at least go lie down and catch a nap on the couch in our office? I'll wake you if I need to."

They both knew he wasn't talking about waking her if something on the case came back. She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "No, you are right. I should go home. I'll only be a phone call away if something should come up." It was just as obvious that she wasn't talking about him calling her if the program got a hit. They didn't have to speak the words out loud to know what the other was thinking. He smiled at her and caressed her cheek.

"I'll be home before you know it and we'll spend the whole day doing whatever we want to do, just the two of us."

She settled comfortable into his embrace for a moment or two wishing she could spend the rest of the night right there. "Promise you'll wear your vest if you get a call."

Danny smiled over her head, for a moment feeling sorry for anyone who didn't have the perfect woman to hold the same way he did. "Promise. I'd do it for you even if Mac hadn't mandated their necessity earlier. Promise you'll be careful getting home?"

"Promise. I love you." Lindsay gave him one more kiss before pulling away. He reached out and grabbed her hand tugging her into his arms once more, pressing his lips against her forehead.

"Love you too."

A couple more kisses and then Lindsay went to the locker room to gather her things. Danny watched her until she was out of sight before returning to his own work. The hours seemed to pass quickly and before he knew it was close to two in the morning, twelve full hours since Lindsay had responded to the call that had resulted in the shots being fired. He thought about calling and making sure everything was okay but didn't want to disturb her if she was actually able to sleep uninterrupted. Besides, she all but promised him in her own cryptic way to call him if the nightmares were bad.

"Detective Messer, can you help me here?" One of the guards that provided security for the lab at night poked his head into the lab.

Danny looked up and saw a young blonde-haired woman standing beside the guard looking nervous. He didn't recognize her but he nodded and pulled off his latex gloves. He held out his hand to shake the woman's. "Danny Messer, what can I do for you?"

She looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "My name is Sarah Jenkins. My husband was one of the officers involved in the shooting earlier. He told me that the crime lab had taken his vest for evidence. Please, would it be possible for me to see it?"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: I had planned to add more to this chapter but a sinus infection hit me pretty hard and I haven't felt up to writing the past couple of days. So I decided to end this chapter here so I could at least post something. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 5<p>

"_My name is Sarah Jenkins. My husband was one of the officers involved in the shooting earlier. He told me that the crime lab had taken his vest for evidence. Please, would it be possible for me to see it?" _

Danny stared at the woman for just a moment without answering. He hadn't seen the bullet proof vest for himself but he had heard enough about the call that had threatened not only this woman's husband but his own wife to question the wisdom of her wish. But still her desire to see the protective garment must be great to draw her away from her home and to the lab at this late hour. "What will it help?"

He nodded to the guard to let him know he would take responsibility of her and then he led her down the hall to the break room. As she sat at the table, Danny went to the coffee pot and poured two mugs of coffee. He handed one of the mugs to his guest and then sat down opposite her. She took a small sip and then set the mug on the table. "I know you must think I'm crazy coming all the way here to see a stupid vest that's now ruined. When I got the call that Paul had been taken to the emergency room following a shooting I was terrified of what I would find. So I was relieved when I got to the hospital to find that he was only bruised - the vest had saved his life. The hospital didn't even keep him so I thought I was okay with not knowing any details other than he was okay. We went home and spent the rest of the evening playing with our son. We ate supper, put the baby to bed and watched a movie on TV - things we've done a thousand times before and I was simply grateful we hadn't lost that chance. Then tonight before we went to bed, I walked into the bathroom as he finished his shower and saw the bruise forming on his back and it hit me that if he hadn't been wearing his vest, he would have died. In that moment, my chest hurt like I'd been the one shot. Paul turned around and saw my expression and knew I knew. He didn't say a word, just led me out of the bathroom." She paused in her story with a blush to her cheeks.

Danny didn't need her to elaborate to know how Paul Jenkins had probably handled the situation. Knowing that his wife was facing the knowledge of how close to death he'd come, the officer had probably led her straight to the bedroom and proceeded to show her just how alive he truly was. He was certain of this because it was what he would have done, what he had been known to do for Lindsay in such a situation. If the blush on her cheeks were any indication it was probably the most intense lovemaking session the two had had in a very long time; there was no way it couldn't have been after such a brush with mortality.

"So why are you here?" Danny asked softly hoping to draw her back to the reason for her late night visit.

"I know I should just be grateful that he kept his promise to me and that it saved his life. I know that and I am but after we went to sleep, the nightmares started. He was being shot at over and over again but in my dreams it wasn't the same happy outcome as reality. In some, he wasn't wearing his vest at all and in others he was wearing the vest but the bullet ripped right through it without stopping. Regardless, in every one of them he was dead and there was nothing I could do about it. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Knowing he's alive and okay and only bruised should be enough but it's not. I thought maybe if I saw the vest, saw where the bullet hole hit and stopped I could get past the incident. Please, I know I can't touch it because it's evidence but can't I just look at it? Five minutes is all I need."

Danny sighed. It went against his better judgment and probably a thousand different rules but he couldn't blame her for wanting to know even if it was bad. Hadn't he himself insisted on watching the video of the bank robbery where Lindsay had been taken hostage knowing that she'd been hit by one of the robbers? Mac had tried to keep him from it but in the end had given in to his requests, probably knowing just as Danny knew right then, that no matter how bad reality was, it didn't compare to what your imagination could produce. "Okay."

He led her back to the lab and handed her a pair of latex gloves just in case. She had promised hands off but he knew it was better not to take any chances. He retrieved the vest from the evidence locker. He kept it in it's sealed enveloped and turned it so that she could see the bullet hole. She stared at it for several minutes before tears filled her eyes and she fled the room. Danny took the time to return the vest to the locker before following her back to the break room. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms for a comforting hug. For several moments, she let him hold her.

"I'm sorry." She apologized through her tears. "You were only doing what I asked; I shouldn't have lost it like that."

"It's okay. I understand."

She sniffled and pulled away, returning to her abandoned coffee mug. "I know all of this is part of his job and I thought I could handle it but seeing that bullet hole… I could have lost the most important person in my life outside of my son and there wouldn't have been a damn thing I could do about it. I don't know if I can be okay with his job after this. You're wearing a wedding band; how does your wife handle you being in such a dangerous job?"

Danny couldn't help but smile slightly. "Better than I handle her doing the same job usually. My wife and I are both CSI's. In fact, she was at the same scene with your husband when the shooting happened. I knew she was okay but I was still going crazy all afternoon until I finally got to see her. Yeah, we got a dangerous job here but we take precautions that help protect us from harm. In the end, usually it's enough; it's only when it's not that we start to have doubts. Tell me, how long has Paul been a cop?"

"Five years."

Danny nodded. "And in those five years, how many times has he been injured on the job?"

Sarah Jenkins sighed sort of seeing where he was going. "Only twice. Today and a year ago when he had some minor burns trying to rescue a woman from a burning vehicle after a wreck."

"And how many times has he been injured outside of the job?" Danny folded his arms across his chest.

"Between sports and his love of repairing things he really shouldn't be repairing? More than I can count." Sarah admitted.

Danny smiled. "Do you keep him from playing sports or repairing things?"

The small unladylike snort of laughter was worth hearing. "I'd like to keep him from repairing things since it usually means it costs more money than if we just let a professional handle it but I see where you are going with this. No, I don't stop him. I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I know I can't let him not do this job that he loves because he would just be miserable and that wouldn't be good for either of us. It's just hard sometimes."

"Tell me about it." Danny admitted. "I can handle me in danger a thousand times better than I can handle even the thought of someone hurting Lindsay. You would think the fact that I can see both sides would make things easier for me but it doesn't. Some days I'm so damn proud of how good she is at this job that I want to put her on display for everyone to see and admire. Other days it hits me like a sucker punch how quickly it could all end in one senseless act of violence and I just want to wrap her in protective bubble wrap and put her in a safe somewhere where she couldn't get so much as a paper cut. Fortunately I usually regain enough sense to stop myself from going that far. I know sometimes she feels exactly the same way. In the two years we've been married we've both been in dangerous situations that could have cost us our lives." Danny turned and lifted his shirt to reveal the scar on his lower back from where he'd been shot. "That's what can happen when you get shot while not wearing a bullet proof vest. It put me out of work completely for a month and in a wheel chair for too long for my happiness. The thing was, I wasn't even working when it happened. Danger doesn't just happen here on the job. Loving someone isn't without its risks but the rewards more than make it worth the potential pain."

As he pulled his shirt back down, he allowed his words to sink in. He knew his words wouldn't automatically erase all her fears; he almost felt like a hypocrite because he still battled some of the same fears she had even if he knew he was right in what he was saying. She sighed. "So I just let him go to work tomorrow knowing that the people who shot at him are still out there and could try again?"

"Or you can let him go to work tomorrow knowing that he's still going to take every precaution to stay safe that he can and he's making the whole city a safer place. You can trust that we are going to do everything we can to catch the people who shot at him."

A slight sniffle betrayed her lingering fears. "You really think you'll catch them? Paul said there wasn't much to go on."

Danny offered her a reassuring smile. "Like I said, when I was shot I wasn't on the job but the shooting pretty much became the job. My co-workers investigated every lead and clue. It took over a month but we finally found who was responsible. NYPD takes it very seriously and very personally when someone threatens one of our own. We won't stop looking until we have the truth. Now, you should probably get home and get some sleep; if your son is anything like my daughter he'll be up bright and early no matter how little sleep you get during the night."

"Thanks, Detective Messer. Your wife is a lucky woman." She gave his arm a squeeze of thanks.

Now it was Danny's turn to blush. "Nah. I'm the lucky one."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

The visit from Sarah Jenkins stayed on Danny's mind the rest of the early morning as he continued to work. Every so often he glanced down at his cell phone as if expecting it to ring. He hoped its continued silence meant that Lindsay was getting uninterrupted sleep and not battling nightmares. When his shift ended, he wasted no time leaving the lab and heading for home. With such a big case unsolved, there was no guarantee that either he or Lindsay or both of them wouldn't get called in and he didn't want to waste a second of the time he had alone with his wife.

As he let himself into the apartment, he was surprised to see Lindsay asleep on the couch, still wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing when she left the lab. Had she slept on the couch all night? He had no way of knowing if her sleep had been troubled during the night but he could tell from the way her body was squirming on the couch that she was currently in the throes of a nightmare. He closed the door behind him and locked it before dropping his messenger bag by the door and crossing the room to kneel beside the couch. His initial instinct was to gather her gently in his arms and kiss the demon dreams away but he resisted the urge. He couldn't be sure what dream was currently haunting her and if it was something to do with the rape, he didn't want to unintentionally make it worse by holding her when she wasn't aware he was there. Instead, he gently ran his fingers through her hair hoping to offer her some comfort without scaring her. Almost instantly, her body relaxed even if her brow remained furrowed.

"Linds? Babe?" He made sure that his voice was soft and light, offering her a smile as her eyes fluttered before opening all the way. She returned his smile with one of her own.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?" She asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.

Now that she was awake, he eased up on the couch with her and gathered her in his arms content to snuggle for a few minutes. "It's a little after eight; I'm off duty. Why are you asleep on the couch?"

She twisted around so that she could get a good look at his watch. "I can't believe I fell asleep like that. I got home and sat down on the couch to unwind just a little with the TV and I guess I fell asleep."

Danny ran his hands up and down Lindsay's arms, just enjoying the feel of her soft skin on his. "Were the nightmares bad?"

Lindsay sighed snuggling deeper in his embrace tightening her arms around his and planting small kisses on the crook of his neck. "No nightmares surprisingly. Just a few bad dreams."

In the aftermath of the rape and kidnapping, Danny got accustomed to the way Lindsay termed her dreams. The night terrors caused the most vocal and violent reaction in her but left her with no memory of what happened in the dreams. Nightmares woke her up screaming and sometimes took her over an hour to erase the images from her mind enough for her to go back to sleep. Bad dreams were the mildest of her dreams. They might make her body physically react but weren't severe enough to wake her up. He was glad that the worse that her demons could throw at her during the night were the bad dreams.

"Want me to fix you some breakfast before you crash or are you just ready to sleep?" Lindsay asked sleepily. Truthfully, she could quite happily fall back asleep cradled in his arms for another hour or so but would throw together something to eat if he were hungry.

Danny recognized the comfortable sleepiness in her voice and the corners of his mouth turned upward. He was tired as well but was pretty sure he could talk her into something other than sleep. The kisses he'd plied Lindsay with when he surprised her at the lab had only been a foretaste of the passion he'd wanted to show her but couldn't since they were at work. Now that they were both at home, he wasn't going to waste the opportunity. "I imagine we'll sleep eventually. We can do a brunch type meal later. How about we take this party to the bedroom where we can both get a little more comfortable."

Lindsay allowed him to pull her up off the couch. Her small hand stayed in his slightly larger one as he led her into their bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: I do not know much about New York. I want to stay true to reality but I'm not sure if what happens in this chapter is real to the city but it does fit in to what happened in the season five episode Green Piece. Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 6<p>

"Damn it, what is going on with traffic today?" Danny growled as he threw the truck into park as it became increasingly clear they weren't going anywhere fast. Lindsay reached over and gave his hand a squeeze as she inwardly wondered at this uncharacteristic fit of temper he was displaying as the Verrazano Bridge became a virtual parking lot. Sure, she'd seem him lose his patience at traffic delays many times in the years they'd been together but usually only when they were in a hurry to be somewhere. This was not the case this time as they were heading to Staten Island to have dinner with Danny's parents and pick up Lucy from her overnight stay. Anna Messer had called them a couple of hours ago to say they were back from their visit and had invited them for supper.

"Danny, what's bothering you? Is it the visit from Sarah Jenkins last night?" Lindsay gently probed. By the time the couple had fallen into a well-sated sleep that morning, the bedside clock had been ready to change over to a double digit hour of the day but by the time they had woken up again, it had been back to a single digit. They had been famished so they threw together a quick lunch. Over the meal, Danny had filled her in on the conversation he had had the night before with Sarah Jenkins.

"_She was so upset and worried about what had happened and I understood her fears completely. But at the same time, I knew she shouldn't focus on the what could have happened. I know what that's like as well and it doesn't help anything. I don't know if I eased her fears any; I simply told her what I would need to hear in the same situation or what I would want someone to remind you of if the situation was reversed."_

_Though she didn't say so out loud, Lindsay was glad Danny had been the one there for Sarah when she needed to talk to someone about what had happened. Though he might not recognize it about himself, he was one of the most compassionate men Lindsay knew. If she had commented on it, he would downplay it to a byproduct of being a husband and father but Lindsay knew it was a trait he'd always had. He'd always had this presence about him that made him easy to talk to and trust; it was one of the things that had first drawn her to him, made her think there was a chance she could fall in love with him. He might have his doubts about whether or not he helped Sarah or not but she didn't. All of Sarah's fears and worries might not have been permanently erased in the brief encounter but Lindsay felt sure the woman had felt better after talking to Danny._

"_We both know what it's like to suddenly be faced with your spouse's mortality." Lindsay mused. "Coming face to face with the realization that you could lose the person you love the most in a split second's time is not easy. I've wondered at times if that is what made our marriage so strong."_

_Danny fixed his gaze on her and reached across the table to take her hand in his. His thumb gently caressed the skin of the base of her own thumb. "I think our marriage is so strong because we love each other that much." _

_Just as her heart swelled with love at how sweet he could be, his eyebrows waggled a little and he raised her hand to his mouth. "It also helps that the sex is pretty hot as well."_

_She couldn't help but laugh at his added comment though she couldn't and wouldn't dare disagree with his assessment. There was no doubt that the bedroom, the pool table, or wherever they had decided to express their love for each other had been an incredible experience for them both right from the very start. "Seriously, do you think it's easier or harder on our marriage that we both work together?"_

_Danny considered her question carefully, not sure where she was going with it. "I guess in some ways, it's easier on us. I mean we both know how time consuming the job can be so neither of us gets upset when one or both us has to put in overtime because we caught a case just before the shift ended. When our hours get crazy we still get to see each other because we're both there. But it's also difficult at times because we may have to suddenly find a babysitter cause we're working late or get called in at weird times. No matter how cautious we might be, it's still a dangerous job and we could end up hurt or worse but we at least know that our jobs are not just shootouts and danger. Most days a paper cut is as dangerous as the job gets. I don't think of the job as being easier or harder, it just is."_

Now, Lindsay regarded Danny a little worriedly, concerned that he hadn't answered her question. He'd seemed fine after their conversation and had bantered good-naturedly with her as they curled up on the couch watching a game on TV as they enjoyed their afternoon together. It was only after the call from his mother that his mood had started to darken. "Danny? What's wrong?"

"Ma's up to something." He finally admitted as the traffic started to crawl ever so slowly once again. Almost reluctantly, he removed his hand from hers to put the truck back into drive before returning it to her comforting grasp. They were moving but they still weren't getting too far very quickly. "I could hear it in her voice when she invited us to dinner. It wasn't even so much as an invitation but a command. I've heard it too many times growing up and it always means trouble. Ma has always believed bad news should be delivered over a well-cooked meal. I've been wracking my brain every since she called trying to figure out what it could be."

"And?" Lindsay trusted Danny's instincts. She could always tell when something was up with her parents and she was sure Danny could do the same with his own.

He sighed, grateful for her small hand wrapped around his own. "What if either Ma or Pop is sick? Not flu-like sick but like life-threatening sick? It would explain her suddenly wanting to take Lucy to see Aunt Mariella. Neither one of them is exactly what you would call a spring chicken any more; I just don't know if I'm ready to face losing one of 'em."

At first glance, Danny might come across as the super tough New York cop but Lindsay knew that was just the exterior he hid behind to cover up the truth that deep down he could be that vulnerable little boy that still loved and depended upon his parents. She could tell this was eating him up inside and he wasn't even sure what, if anything, was wrong. She had to try to ease his fears somehow. She tightened her grasp on his hand. "Who knows, maybe your mom is planning to tell us she's pregnant."

Danny cut his eyes at her while still keeping a watch on the slow moving traffic. Was she being funny or serious? "What are you tryin' to do to me here? Ma couldn't be pregnant. That would mean Lucy would have an uncle younger than she is. And no way do I want to even contemplate the fact that my parents could entertain themselves the same way you and I entertained ourselves earlier this morning. That's just an image I don't want floating around my mind."

Lindsay hid the chuckle that threatened to escape at his almost disgusted expression, glad to see that her good-natured teasing had at least distracted him from his darker thoughts. She couldn't help but notice that even at her supposition that Anna could be pregnant, Danny automatically assumed it would be a boy. The traffic was now moving at a faster pace; apparently whatever had stopped traffic earlier had been completely cleared. She knew he would stay worried about what his mother wanted until Anna revealed her true motives at dinner but that he was now a little more in control of his emotions than he was a few minutes earlier. She hoped he was worried about nothing. Unlike the all the stories and jokes people told about dreadful in-laws, she loved her husband's parents as much as she loved her own. She would hate to think either of the strong, loving people who had created the man she loved with all her heart could be sick.

Now that traffic had resumed it's normal pace, it didn't take them anytime to reach the Messer's house. Danny pulled into the driveway as he and Lindsay saw Lucy playing in the front yard with Reese's. Danny's father was sitting on the front porch watching his granddaughter while nursing a beer. He held his hand up in a welcoming wave as the young couple exited the vehicle. Lucy came running up to them, almost jumping straight into her mother's open arms.

"Mommy, I miss you and Daddy."

Lindsay hugged her daughter tightly, as always enjoying the feel of her daughter in her arms. "We missed you too, Luce. Were you a good girl?"

"Course I was. Nonna is making homemade rabiollies. They smell sooooo good."

Danny's heart tightened as Lucy mentioned that his mother was making ravioli from scratch. It was his absolute favorite meal that she made. What ever she was about to drop on them must be big. He trotted lightly up the steps to his childhood home and sat down opposite his father. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance of getting any information out his mother until she was ready to reveal her motive for inviting them over but he might be able to learn something from his father.

"Hey Pop."

"Whatever she's up to, Son, she hasn't let me in on the news." Joe Messer warned before Danny could ever pose a question. With a sigh, Danny ran his hand through his short hair and waited for his father to continue. He knew that his dad knew more than he was saying but prodding him for the information wouldn't force him to spill the beans any faster. Joe leaned over and opened a small cooler that contained iced-down beers and pulled one out for Danny before taking a long swallow of his own. Then he set the beer on the side table. "She had a doctor's appointment Thursday. Just a regular check-up but she was gone most of the day. Came home all worked up about something but she wouldn't say what. That's when she started talking about getting Lucy for the weekend and the three of us going to see Mariella. Weirdest thing was the whole time we were there today, she was trying to talk my sister into moving to Ohio to be closer to her grandkids."

Danny's anxiety increased upon hearing his father's story. What was going on with his mother? What had she learned at the check-up? Lindsay, after listening to Lucy tell about her day, had left her daughter and the puppy to play on the front lawn and joined Danny and Joe on the front porch. She gave her father-in-law a hug and kiss. "You two keep an eye on those two and I'll see if I can help Anna in the kitchen."

Once she had disappeared into the house, Joe shot Danny a glance. "She does understand what your ma is like in the kitchen doesn't she?"

Danny chuckled despite his worry. "If you or I went in to the kitchen right now, Ma would have us for dinner but somehow I think both Lindsay and Lucy would get the same reaction." He took a drink from his beer unable to get his worries out of his mind. "Maybe we're both just jumping to conclusions here. Maybe nothing's wrong at all."

Joe nodded quietly, lifting his own beer to his mouth. "Maybe so, Son. Maybe so."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Anna Messer set the last of the food on the table and the family took their seats. For the first few minutes talking revolved around the meal itself. It was clear that she had outdone herself preparing the meal. The pit in Danny's stomach tightened so much that he wasn't sure he'd be able to eat any of the what was sure to be a delicious dinner. Finally unable to stand the suspense any longer, Danny looked at his mother.

"Ma, whatever it is just tell us. We can get you treatment, medicine, whatever you need, but let us help you through this."

Lindsay reached under the table and gave Danny's hand a reassuring squeeze. Anna on the other hand shot him a perplexing glance. "What are you talking about Danny? Help me through what? What's all this talk about treatment and medicine? I'm not sick, just got the clean bill of health two days ago. Why would you think I'm sick?"

The relief hit him like a ton of bricks and he couldn't get his breath at first. Lindsay, sensing he needed a moment, interceded. "Danny was worried you had bad news for us or something like that."

Anna smiled. "I'm sorry I scared you. No, I'm fine but something did happen at the doctor's office the other day. I ran into Cora Goldberg in the waiting room She even waited around for me until my visit was over and we went to lunch together. You remember her, Danny. You were good friends with her son George in college."

Danny nodded as he finally wrapped his mind around the fact that his mother was not sick. He and George had even roomed together while attending NYU. They had been good friends and at least a couple of times a week, the usually starving college boys had gone to either one home or the other for a good meal several times a week. Danny had been unable or maybe it was unwilling to attend George's wedding two years ago because he hadn't been long getting out of the hospital after being shot. He hadn't wanted his friend to see him in the wheelchair. "Last I heard, he and his wife moved to Vermont and he was practicing law."

"He and his wife just had triplets a few weeks ago." Anna announced with a smile. "Cora is so excited to finally be a grandmother. She was beginning to think George and Gracie were never going to have children."

Danny leaned over and pretended to whisper to Lindsay in a tone he knew his parents could hear as well. "That's not the tone she was using when we were in college. People may have accused me of being a player before you came along but George was the real thing. Different girlfriend every week it seemed like. I can remember many times hearing her lecture George on what would happen if he made her a grandmother too soon. Guess he was taking those threats to heart even after he got married."

Joe let out a belly laugh. "Seems I remember hearing your Ma with that same worry a time or two."

Anna gave both men a mock glare before continuing. "Hush, both of you. Cora is so excited about being a grandmother and worried about poor Gracie having to take care of those three little ones all my herself that she's decided to pack up and move to Vermont so she can help out."

Lindsay reached over and cut up a couple of ravioli for Lucy before returning to her own plate. "I think that's wonderful. I'm grateful that Lucy has the two of you close by as she's growing up but sometimes I wish my parents were closer as well."

Danny still wasn't sure how this news warranted a special meal but was just too relieved to know that his mother wasn't sick to care about how worried he'd been. As if reading his mind, Anna continued. "In order to move to Vermont, she has to sell her house. That house has been in her family for decades and she doesn't want to sell to just anybody. She wants to make sure it goes to someone who will raise a family in as much love as she raised hers. She asked me if I knew of anyone looking for a house." She paused for dramatic effect. "I know the two of you have toyed with the idea of buying a house but keep putting it off for one reason or another but this could be perfect for your family."

Lindsay bit her lower lip. Danny had been ready to find a house since Shane Casey had broken into their apartment a year ago but she hadn't been ready to give up on living in Manhattan. Then after the attack she hadn't wanted to jump straight into another move while her life was still so tumultuous. Now that Reese's was getting bigger, she knew it was time to seriously consider a house but she still wasn't sure she was ready to leave Manhattan.

Danny slipped an arm around Lindsay's shoulders. He remembered the house his college friend had grown up in, had driven past it many times on the job. "Babe, you remember that house that blew up just before we got married?"

Lindsay smiled. "The case yes, the house, no. Someone sitting at this table wouldn't let me near the scene because I was carrying someone else sitting at this table. Why?"

"Cora's house is just a couple of blocks over from there."

Lindsay's eyes widened. "So the house is actually in Manhattan?" Actual houses in Manhattan were very hard to come by and even when one went on the market, they were usually way too expensive.

"Cora was thrilled that the two of you might be interested. I think knowing the family who bough the house was more important to her than making a big profit. I think she'd give the two of you a fair price." Anna informed them. "At least go by and look at it. I have her number and she's looking forward to hearing from you."

The young mother looked at Danny. Though he seemed nonchalant about the idea, she could see that deep down he was excited about the possibility. "You like the idea. You've seen the house…"

Danny stopped her before she could continue. "I haven't been in the house in probably ten years and I was never in there with the idea 'hey, this could all be mine one day.' Yeah, what I remember of the house I think it could be perfect for us but we've got to look at it and decide that for ourselves before any decision could be made. It's an opportunity we may never get again and I think we should check it out but that's as far as I'm sure of at this point. Why don't we call her tomorrow and see about looking at the house? But only if you want to."

Lindsay gave it careful consideration. She had been reluctant to move when they got the puppy several months ago simply because she didn't want to make another major move in connection with a traumatic experience. What better way to acknowledge that things were pretty much back to normal than by giving serious consideration to fulfilling their dream of owning a house? She nodded slowly. "Sure, let's give her a call."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Mac Taylor adjusted his bullet proof vest as he parked the Avalanche. Like everyone else, he found wearing the protective device uncomfortable and confining but in light of the shooting the day before a necessary precaution. Stepping out of the vehicle, he joined Flack as the younger man finished talking to a couple of uniformed officers. Flack replaced his notebook in the pocket under his own vest and pointed with his head toward a pair of legs sticking out from behind a dumpster.

"Location look familiar?"

Mac nodded. "This is the same place our John Doe was found yesterday and you, Lindsay, and the two officers were shot at. Why do I have a feeling this isn't a coincidence? Another drug overdose?"

Flack shook his head. "Not this time. Go ahead and take a look yourself; you wouldn't believe me if I just told you."

Mac narrowed his eyes but walked to the dumpster so he could kneel beside the body. He frowned. The body was nothing more than a CPR dummy dressed up in regular clothes. He looked back at Flack. "This was a set up. We aren't safe here. Clear everyone out."

Flack nodded and pulled out his radio. Just as he was making the call, a dark sedan came around the corner. It appeared to be the same vehicle from the day before. His hand automatically reached for his gun. "Mac, that's them."

The head of the crime lab pulled his own gun as the sedan pulled alongside a patrol car. Something was flung from the back window of the sedan into the open window of the patrol car before the sedan sped up. With a sickening horror, Mac realized what it was and pushed Flack to the ground. A moment later, the patrol car exploded.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes: This chapter is something new for me; the entire chapter is written from Flack's point of view. Kind of nice getting into someone else's head for a little while. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 7<p>

"What the hell was that?" Don Flack slowly picked himself up off the ground where he'd landed when Mac pushed him to the ground. As he brushed dirt from his suit, he stared at the patrol car that was engulfed in flames. He couldn't suppress the shudder that raced down his spine at the sudden sense of deju vu that came over him as he remembered the last explosion he'd been in with Mac. At least this time he was able to walk away from this one.

Mac Taylor rose beside him and quickly radioed for backup from the fire department before turning to Don. The sedan was long gone, not having waited around to see the results of their attack. "Molotov cocktail. Damnit. I want these guys."

Breaking his gaze from the burning vehicle, Don looked at the head of the crime lab, his hands on his hips. "Yeah, that part I got, maybe the only part of all this that I do get. What I don't get is the why or the who. I mean, seriously, two attacks in as many days by the same people at the same location? I guess that kind of rules out that yesterday was just a random attack. Obviously these people have painted a pretty big target on our backs."

Mac shook his head. "I don't know but I'm not going to rest until I find out. I'm going to take that dummy back to the lab and I'm going to process it all the way down the submicroscopic level. If there is even a partial print or a hint of DNA on it, I'm going to find it."

Flack didn't doubt the veracity of his words. If there was anything to be found, he was sure Mac would find it. He'd seen Taylor's people find case breaking clues when there shouldn't have been any chance of finding them. Hell, Lindsay Messer had even managed to use her wedding ring and Dora the Explorer band-aids to clue the lab in to the identity of the bank robbers who were holding her and four others hostage. He still couldn't tear his gaze away from the burning vehicle even as the patrol officers joined them, also in shock by what just happened.

A fire engine was pulling up behind the burning car and fire fighters clad in their protective turnouts were piling out of the truck, grabbing hoses off the truck and setting about to put out the fire. Flack was almost certain more members of the crime lab, though he wasn't sure who was on call with Mac tonight, would be showing up to process the car as soon as the fire department deemed it safe to do so.

"Who's on with you tonight?" He knew Lindsay and Danny were both off; his best friend had been talking all week about being glad when Saturday came because he would finally be able to spend quality time with Lindsay and Lucy.

"Hawkes just came on but I don't want him here. I don't want any of my people responding to calls at this location until we have the people responsible. I'm not about to risk their lives if I can help it. I'll process this scene myself."

Flack tore his eyes away as the fire fighters quickly got the fire under control to stare at Mac. He wasn't surprised to hear the protective tone in his friend's voice; Mac treated all of his people as if they were family. But did he really expect to do all this work himself? "Mac, you don't think…"

"I'm not taking chances. I doubt they'll come back tonight but there's no way to be sure. I wouldn't have expected them to make a second attempt here but they did. I don't think you should take chances either. Your shift is suppose to be over, right? I want you out of here."

Flack sighed; surely Mac was over reacting and didn't really expect him to leave. "Mac…"

"Damnit, Flack, both these cases have only two things in common - location and you as the detective on scene. I don't know if you were the target or NYPD in general but until I know for sure I don't want to risk your safety. I can't order you away but I'm pretty sure your captain would agree with me that until we know for sure if you are the target, you shouldn't be here."

The older man was right; he was the only officer that had been at both crime scenes. Sure it could be a coincidence but coincidences weren't something they dealt in - only facts. Still, he wasn't one to back down from a challenge and the idea of leaving all of this for someone else irked him to no end. It was on the tip of his tongue to challenge Mac, even though he knew what Mac was asking of him made sense. He bit back his retort however when he caught the look in Mac's eyes. The expression hit him like a ton of bricks, a look that stated without reservation that the head of the crime lab had seen too many friends suffering recently and couldn't take any more. Flack hung his head, ready to swallow his pride for the sake of his friend. "Okay, I'm gone but keep me in the loop if you find something."

Mac nodded, already turning away to begin processing the scene. With a heavy heart, Flack climbed into his own vehicle and cautiously pulled around the other emergency vehicles. As he cautiously merged back in with traffic, he noticed that his hands were shaking. He realized the adrenaline had worn off and his body was responding to the reminder that he'd just survived another explosion. Perhaps before going home, he should stop by Sullivan's for a couple of beers to help settle his nerves. But the idea of drinking alone didn't appeal to him. It reminded him too much of how he had dealt with his grief over Jess's death. Those months directly after had been the hardest on him. Danny would have been there to help support him but the shooting had left him with his own demons to battle. Lindsay had tried to pick up the slack but she'd had her plate full with work, a new baby, and an injured husband. His heart slammed against his chest. Lindsay. If Mac was right and Don was the ultimate target; that meant it was his fault that Lindsay had been shot at the day before. The young couple was just getting their life back together after the robbery; it wasn't right that he might have almost jeopardized that because someone had taken a notion to try to kill him. How would Danny have ever forgiven him if he'd lost the love of his life because of him?

He should go home he knew but he couldn't bring himself to go there. Instead he drove around for a little while trying to run through a list of anyone who could possibly want to target him. He was coming up empty and getting more frustrated when he realized he was close to Danny and Lindsay's apartment. Feeling a need for an absolution to the guilt that had built inside him as he'd thought about the danger he might have put Lindsay in, he paralleled parked in front of their building and headed upstairs. If nothing else, a quick visit with Lucy was bound to lift his spirits. He knocked on the apartment door and grinned in spite of himself when he heard Lucy's excited voice on the other side. He wasn't completely sure but it sounded like she asked "whose it?" so he answered with quick "Uncle Flack." There was no mistaking the squeal of delight on the other side and after a moment the door opened and he barely had time to prepare himself for the little girl launching herself into his arms from the chair she'd climbed into to answer the door. She buried her head in his shoulder but then pulled back, wrinkling her nose.

"Unc'a Flat, you stink."

Lindsay, who was standing nearby after unlocking the front door so that her daughter could answer the door, turned red with embarrassment at Lucy's blunt statement. "Lucy Ann Messer, we do not tell people they stink." She took the little girl from Flack and gave him a hug, getting a good whiff of what Lucy was talking about. "Flack, were you at a fire?"

She led him inside to the couch, setting Lucy on the floor so the little girl could play. Danny emerged from the kitchen carrying a couple of beers once he heard that Flack was at the door. He handed one to Flack who started to explain.

"We got another call to the same location as yesterday. Only our body was a Rescue Randy manikin instead of a human. We were just about to evacuate the area when the sedan from yesterday paid us another visit and threw a Molotov cocktail into one of the patrol cars. Fortunately no one was hurt but I didn't realize I was as smoky as I was." He took a long drink from the beer as Reese's came scrambling over to check out the visitor. Don reached out to scratch the lab behind the ears but after a second, the dog whined and scurried backward. Flack rolled his eyes. "I hate to ask but do you think I could take a quick shower? It must be bad if I'm scaring puppies and little girls."

Danny smiled. "Sure go ahead. I'll even let you borrow a pair of sweats and a t-shirt."

Don appreciated the gesture but knew that Danny's sweat pants would be several inches too short for him. Lindsay reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I can probably wash that smell out of your clothes before you leave. Have you eaten supper yet? Danny's mom sent us home with plenty of left over ravioli if you're interested?"

Don almost began to salivate at the thought of Anna Messer's home cooking. "Even if I had eaten, which I haven't since a quick hotdog around 11 this morning, I wouldn't be able to turn down her ravioli. Thanks, you guys are the best."

The two men disappeared into the bedroom where Danny pulled out a change of clothes for Flack to wear once out of the shower and told him where to find the towels and wash clothes. Don disappeared into the bathroom and turned the shower on until the temperature was hot enough without being scalding. He undressed quickly and stepped under the spray, allowing the hot water to do more than just wash away the lingering smoke from the fire. He lathered up the wash cloth and ran the soapy material over his chest, trying not to look at the scar that was a constant reminder of the last explosion he'd been in. He knew Mac must have been remembering that explosion just as he had been and figured that it had been weighing on his mind when he'd all but ordered Flack to leave the scene. Aiden's death, Flack's near death in the explosion, Jess's death, Danny's injury in the shooting, Shane Casey's threat to the whole Messer family, and Lindsay's kidnapping and rape. No wonder Mac had looked so haunted. This job had cost or nearly cost him too much as it was.

He showered quickly and then stepped out of the shower to towel off. He could hear the excited chatter of his pseudo-niece in the living room and Danny's distinctive Staten Island accent as he joked with his daughter. As Flack dressed, he stared at the cracked mirror. He knew the story of how Danny had busted his fist against it in anger once he realized that he'd hurt Lindsay after a nightmare. Danny had confessed it to him a couple of months ago when the two had gone out for beers after work. Even though Lindsay had held no blame for her husband over what had happened, Danny had admitted that he still felt like a heel every time he thought about the bruises he'd left on her arms.

Flack gripped the edge of the counter as his own guilt came back to a head. Would Danny hate him when he found out he might be the reason why Lindsay had been shot at yesterday at the crime scene? Could he blame him if he did? Lindsay wasn't just the wife of his best friend; she was just as close a friend as Danny was. She'd been through so much during her captivity and in the weeks that followed. Hell, she'd been sidelined at work for months after the attack because the effect the sounds of gunfire had on her. Then, maybe thanks to some grudge someone might be holding against him, she'd had to face the sound that had so terrified her on her first solo case back to work.

Uncharacteristic tears filled his eyes and he attributed them to the lingering shock of the earlier attack. Here he was in his best friends' apartment, using their shower, about to eat their food and how was he repaying their continued kindness? By possibly luring some revenged-seeking psychopath into their lives. What kind of friend did that make him?

There was a quick knock on the door. "Flack, no hurry but I've got your ravioli ready."

Lindsay's sweet voice only compounded his guilt. He rubbed his eyes furiously hoping to hide the trace of tears before he opened the bathroom door. He could feel Lindsay's gaze cutting into him as he emerged from the bathroom. Without a word, she took him by the hand and led him out to the living room and directed him to a seat on the couch before sitting beside him. As her arm came around his shoulder, he broke down, unable to take her generous spirit in the face of his overwhelming guilt. It didn't even hit him that Danny, Lucy, and the puppy all seemed to have disappeared as he buried his head in Lindsay's shoulder until he could finally get his emotions under control. After what seemed like hours but was probably only five minutes, he lifted his head to meet Lindsay's concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry." He apologized and he wasn't sure exactly what he was apologizing for. Was it for breaking down or for whatever role he might have played in yesterday's shooting? But Lindsay just smiled at him understandingly.

"Please, that's nothing compared to some of my melt down's in the past few months. As many times as I've used your shoulder as a sponge, it's about time I got to return the favor. Are you okay? Tonight had to have been rough."

Flack wiped at his eyes but then took the tissues that she offered him and dried his eyes before blowing his nose. He shrugged. "It wasn't so much the explosion itself; although I would be lying if I said it didn't shake me up some. It's everything else that went with it that really set me off though." He sighed, somehow it felt better to admit Mac's fear while Danny wasn't around. "There were two common factors to tonight's attack and yesterday's."

Lindsay nodded. "Location obviously. What's the other?"

"Me. We can't be sure but it's possible that I might be the target. Mac all but ordered me to leave; I guess for my safety as well as everyone else's. After all yesterday I almost got you, Jenkins and Saunders killed and others could have died tonight."

"Stop it." Lindsay's tone brooked no argument. "Even if you are the target, you can't blame yourself for the shooting or the bombing. If Mac ordered you away from the scene it was for your safety and your safety alone. We all know the risks this job has and we accept them every time we respond to a call. If some psychopath gets some sort of bent idea of revenge in their mind and attack us, it's on them, not their target. Besides, there's no way of knowing if they were really targeting you or all of us in general. Until we know more about them, we can't know that. Mac's right in not wanting you to take unnecessary risks but it's too dangerous to just assume you are the target and the rest of us relax."

Don nodded, the wisdom of her words washing over her like a band-aid on his wounded psyche. Coming here had been the right thing for him to do. He looked around, it just hitting him that they were alone together. "Where're Danny and Lucy?"

Lindsay smiled as if she realized he was going to be okay. "Reese's needed a walk before bedtime and Lucy loves going with them. It actually helps settle her down before we put her down for the night. You ready for that ravioli?"

His stomach growled by way of an answer and he laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am."

She gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. "Take your beer to the table then. Your plate is already on the table; it should still be warm. I'm going to go get your clothes and get them in the wash. Make yourself at home if you need anything else and I'll be right out."

As she went to stand, Don pulled her back down, enveloping her in a brotherly hug. "Thanks for being here when I needed it."

She blushed slightly. "That's what friends are for." She kissed his cheek before getting up to take care of his clothes.

Don watched her leave and then picked his beer up to go to the kitchen. As he started to devour the ravioli, he could hear Lindsay bustling about putting his clothes in the washing machine. The front door opened and Danny stepped in, holding tightly to Reese's leash with one hand and holding a sleeping Lucy in his other arm. Danny indicated that he'd be out after putting the two-year-old to bed and disappeared down the hall. Don watched as the puppy settled in her own bed watching him almost absently as her tail wagged softly.

A few minutes later, Danny joined him at the table, his own beer in his hand. Don looked at him. "Does your mom know what a great cook she is?"

Danny laughed. "I try to make sure she knows often enough that she cooks for us quite often but I think she'd know she's awesome in the kitchen even if I didn't." He finished off his beer and stood, ready to get a second. He nodded toward Flack's bottle that was almost empty. "Want another one?"

Don nodded. After his breakdown and talking with Lindsay, he didn't feel the urge to go out and get stinking drunk like he had when he first left the crime scene but a second beer wouldn't hurt. By the time Danny returned to the table with the beers, Lindsay had emerged from the laundry room and joined them. Don couldn't help but laugh at the wounded look Danny gave Lindsay when she reached out and stole the beer he'd gotten for himself away from him. With a defeated sigh, Danny returned to the fridge once more and then came back to the table. "There's a game on tonight. You want to stay and watch it?"

Don nodded. It struck him that his friends had realized that he didn't really want or need to be alone tonight and he was grateful they were taking him under their wings. "Sounds good."

"You're off tomorrow like we are, aren't you?" Danny added.

Don nodded. "Suppose to be but I'm thinking I might go in just to look at old case files. There's got to be a reason why the attacks have happened at that location. Maybe something in the files will give us a clue as to who is responsible. I can't sit on the sidelines even or especially if I'm the target." He picked up his empty plate and carried it to the sink before picking up his beer and following the married couple to the living room.

Danny turned on the game and the three put aside the two attacks as they simply enjoyed the company and the game. During the course of watching the game, Danny and Lindsay filled him in on the possibility of the house they were going to look at the next day. Don was glad that things seemed to be looking up for the couple. He only hoped that this newest threat wouldn't put their happiness at risk.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I hope the character I introduce in this chapter comes out as lovable as she is in my head as I've imagined these scenes.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 8<p>

Around nine the next morning, Don Flack pulled into one of the spaces reserved for police cars. Though a full parking garage like they had at the CSI lab would be nice, he was glad that he at least didn't have to fight for a space like regular citizens of New York had to do when visiting his precinct of the New York Police Department. As he put the vehicle in park, he reached back over to the bag that contained the rest of the large bear claw he'd picked up at the bakery on his way in. He placed the pastry in his mouth so that he could grab his Styrofoam cup of coffee in his hand as he got out of the vehicle. Once on the sidewalk, he took a huge bite as he started toward the entrance of the police station. Though his visit with the Messers the night before had assuaged his feelings of guilt over possibly being the target of their latest psychopath some, a pick-me-up treat from his favorite bakery could also work wonders on his mood.

He hadn't made it far down the sidewalk, when he noticed the taxi doubled parked right in front of the entrance as an elderly woman carefully stepped from the vehicle. Don swallowed his bite of pastry quickly and gave the rest of it a toss to the sidewalk as he recognized the woman. He glanced at his watch to confirm the date and then took a large swig of the hot coffee, wincing as the scalding liquid burned his mouth. As he stepped toward the taxi, he frantically wiped at the corners of his mouth, hoping that he was getting rid of all traces of any sugar that might have left its evidence behind as he ate the bear claw.

"Miss Myrtle, how many times do we have to tell you that you don't have to take a taxi all the way here every month? Once of us would be glad to come pick you up." He chastised as gently as he could, reaching over to give her a welcoming hug. The woman's face broke into a large smile at his arrival. She was balancing a large pink box which Don immediately took from her. The taxi driver was opening the trunk of the cab revealing five more pink boxes.

"Donnie, how many times do _I_ have to tell you that I don't want to put you boys out. You have enough to do keeping the city safe to play taxi cab to a batty old woman. Just look at you; you look tired. Are you taking care of yourself? Samantha and Donnie, Jr aren't keeping you up late at night are they? When are you going to bring those little angels to see me?"

Don shook his head. He didn't know exactly how old Myrtle Godwin was and he'd never be so bold as to come out and ask but he was sure she had to be at least 80. His father had worked at this precinct under her husband, Captain Henry Godwin for many years and in all those years, Miss Myrtle had taken it upon herself to mother all the officers; a tradition that had continued after Captain Godwin's retirement twenty years ago and his death five years ago. Though her mind sometimes told her advanced age with slips of memory and her body appeared frail and small, she was one of the strongest people he knew and only one of a couple of people he'd ever let get away with calling him Donnie.

"Miss Myrtle, I am Donnie, Jr. Dad retired many years ago, remember."

She shook her head with a slight roll of her eyes - the only concession she would make to her lapse in memory. "Where does the time go? Look at you all grown up. It's been too long since I've seen you."

In fact, he had seen her just last week when he and a couple of other officers had shown up at her house to do some work on her roof after a bad storm had torn off a few shingles, but he didn't remind her of that. Several other officers had noticed her arrival and come over to help unburden the taxi driver of the pink boxes they looked so forward to every month. He handed off the box he'd taken from Myrtle to the taxi driver as he reached for his wallet. He then traded the driver the box for a couple of twenties to pay for her cab ride to the precinct and then led the elderly woman into the building.

Once inside every officer took a turn greeting their favorite visitor with a hug before digging into one of the boxes of homemade chocolate donuts that filled the different boxes. This was the one day of the month that every officer looked forward to working; not even pay day was this well liked. They never knew exactly what goodies the elderly woman would bring with her visit but they all knew that whatever showed up in her pink pastry boxes would be delicious and plentiful. Even though Don was mostly full from the bear claw he'd been eating when he'd arrived earlier, he grabbed a couple of donuts for himself. He knew if he didn't make his grab now, there would be none left when he was hungry later. He broke one donut in half for now and wrapped the others for later. His eyes closed in pure bliss as he ate the half he'd taken for now; nothing could compare with Miss Myrtle's cooking.

She fixed him with a severe stare after she settled in a chair near his desk. "Donnie, I saw on the news that some of our boys were shot at the other night. They weren't lying about there only being minor injuries were they? The danger was the one thing I always hated about Henry being a police officer. Bless his soul, he would tell me every day that he went to work not to worry because he'd be as careful as he could and that if his careful wasn't good enough that he trusted the men he worked with would pick up his slack. That promise kept him safe for forty years of service and I'm forever grateful for it. I know however not every policeman's wife can say the same thing."

Don reached out and gave her frail hand a gentle squeeze. His well-intentioned plans to search through old cases to figure out who might be responsible for very attack she was asking about were put on hold with her arrival. He'd talk to her for as long as she wanted; wait around as she made the rounds visiting others, and then he would drive her to her home in Forest Hill Gardens in Queens. If it meant that he didn't get to look at any of the old cases, then it was a sacrifice that he was willing to make for her. He knew that her police family spent more time with her than her remaining relatives, a couple of grandkids and a son-in-law that never visited. It was their loss and he hoped the day would come that he was able to let them know just what a terrific person they had missed out on knowing. "Everyone was fine. I'm surprised it even made the news at all."

Miss Myrtle nodded, looking more than a little relieved. "As much as you boys protect the city, everything you do should make the news. I trust it won't take you long to figure out who is responsible and put them away. My Henry always said you were the best."

Don smiled, not bother to remind her that Captain Godwin had only worked with Don Flack, Sr. not with him. After all that had happened the last couple of days, it was nice to hear the vote of confidence. It wasn't much longer before she was ready to leave and he gallantly led her to his car, his donuts safely locked in his desk for his return.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Danny pulled the Avalanche into Cora Goldberg's driveway and turned off the engine. Though it had been several years since he'd last visited the house, it hadn't changed a bit. The neighborhood was quiet; the perfect place to raise a family. The small yard, a rarity in Manhattan, was neatly cut. For a moment Danny tried to picture himself spending Saturday afternoons behind a lawn mower before settling on the front porch with Lindsay and a couple of beers, watching Lucy play on the freshly mown grass as the sun set. Though he was trying not to get his hopes up too high, it was a piece of domesticity that he could happily get use to.

"Why we here?" Lucy asked impatiently from the backseat. They had discussed getting a babysitter to watch her while they looked at the house but in the end decided against it. If they bought the house, then Lucy would grow up here; she deserved to have a say in the decision even if she was only two years old. But at the same time, they didn't want to confuse her if they didn't take the house by telling her why they were there.

Lindsay turned around in her seat to look at Lucy. "We're here to visit the mother of an old friend of your Daddy's. We're going to be a good girl, right?"

Lucy nodded solemnly. "We go park later?"

Lindsay smiled. Her daughter would be happy if they decided to just pitch tents in Central Park and make it their permanent home. "Yes, sweetheart. We'll go to the park in a little while."

The small family got out of the vehicle and made their way up the sidewalk to the front door. Cora Goldberg had the door opened before they could even knock; she'd obviously been watching for them. She engulfed Danny in a warm hug.

"Danny Messer, as I live and breathe, you are a sight for sore eyes. It's been way too long, young man." She released him and turned to Lindsay, hugging her as well. "You must be the young woman who finally tamed this wild child. You must be quite a woman to get him to settle down." She smiled down at Lucy. "Your grandmother has told me all about you, Miss Lucy. If my grandbabies are half as cute as you, then I can't wait to get my hands on them. Come in, come in."

They followed her into the house, casually looking around without trying to appear too eager. She caught their looks anyway and smiled. "It's nothing fancy but it was a great house for raising my family in and I bet it would be just as wonderful for yours. Downstairs there's the living room, kitchen, dining room, and a small utility room next to the garage. Upstairs there are three small bedrooms, the master bedroom, and two bedrooms."

Danny could remember more and more about the house now that he was once more inside it. He gave her a curious glance. "Seems like I remember a basement. Am I thinking crazy?"

Cora smiled. "Good memory. Yes, my husband got worried during the Cold War that we'd be bombed at any moment and he built a bomb shelter under the house. Fortunately it's intended use was never needed but it became a nice little workshop for him. Now, the three of you look around all you want. I'll be in the kitchen finishing up a nice lunch for all of us. I never have company for Sunday lunch anymore and I'm looking forward to the change. I've had a pot roast cooking all morning and I'm mashing up some potatoes to go with it. Give me a holler if you have any questions."

She disappeared down the hall to leave them to look around freely. Lindsay turned to Danny and caught the boyish gleam in his eyes. "You've already filled that basement with your work out equipment in your head haven't you?"

Danny tried to quell the eagerness that was quickly filling him. For him, it was love at first- or at least first in a long time - sight. If it were solely up to him, he would make a deal with Cora Goldberg right away without even looking at the rest of the house. Just hearing her detail the space the house had was enough to convince him it was perfect for their family. Not too big for them but big enough that they could expand the family without worrying about space. He could almost hear the scraping of Reese's nails on the hard wood floor as she ran through the house after Lucy. He could almost picture himself padding down the stairs in the middle of the night to retrieve a bottle of milk from the fridge for a new baby. As much as he loved the idea of buying a house with Lindsay, he didn't want to influence her decision. He knew this was a big deal for her; something she'd been more than a little reticent about and he only wanted to do this if and when she was truly ready. He forced a casual shrug. "That could be one way to use the space I guess. No decision's been made yet, Babe. We're just looking and keeping an open mind. Right?" He slung an arm around her shoulder as they made their way from room to room.

Despite his words, Lindsay knew Danny was already sold on the idea. She had to admit she was quickly forgetting why she'd been reluctant to buy a house in the first place. There was a fire place in the living room and she could picture curling up on the sofa in front of a roaring fire on cold winter nights. How nice it would be to actually be able to hang stockings on the mantle of the fireplace at Christmas and trying to explain to Lucy how it was possible for Santa not to get burned when he came down the fireplace on Christmas Eve. As she ran a critical eye around the living room, she could easily see a seven foot Christmas tree - a real tree, not the artificial one they'd used the last few years - standing in the corner near the big picture window. There was more than enough room that they could easily have their friends over for parties without everyone stepping on each other

The upstairs was equally appealing. A room for Lucy and if it should one day happen a separate room for a little brother or sister with a room still left over for guests. If they got the house, they would have room for Stella to stay with them when she visited instead of her staying in a cold hotel room. The piece de resistance was the fireplace in the master bedroom though. Lindsay had often dreamed of having a fireplace in the bedroom; Kelly's parents had had a fireplace in their bedroom when the girls were growing up and it had always seemed like a romantic addition to any house.

By the time they were making their way back downstairs to join Cora in the kitchen, both Lindsay and Danny were sold on the house. They didn't say so out loud but the looks they exchanged left no room for doubt. This could be the house they grew old together in. At the bottom of the stairs, they corralled their daughter and sat on the bottom step with Lucy in Danny's lap.

"Lucy, would you like to live in this house?" Danny asked her wanting her opinion as well.

For a moment, Lucy looked horrified and tears filled her eyes. "I lives with you and Mommy and Reese's. I not wanna live here without you."

Danny held her closely, hurt that he'd given her the wrong idea. "No baby. I don't mean you by yourself. Mommy and I might buy this house and all of us, including Reese's would live here together. Would you like that?"

Slowly realizing what Danny was trying to explain, Lucy nodded slowly. "We'd have a backyard like Aunt Stella."

Danny grinned at the idea. "We could get a grill."

Suddenly Lindsay remembered a conversation she'd had with Stella when they went to visit their friend in New Orleans. The conversation had turned to what each of them wanted in a house. Lindsay had explained that Lucy wanted a pet dog and Danny wanted a grill; Lindsay's only wish was that the family would be together and happy. If they bought this house, they could all get their wishes. A slow smile spread across her face as they stood up from the stairs and made their way to the kitchen. Cora was all smiles as they came in.

"Just in time. Everything is all ready. Go on out to the dining room and have a seat."

Lindsay offered to help bring things to the table but Cora waved her off. "Nonsense, you are my guests. Go on sit down. I'll be in in just a second."

In no time, they were sitting at the table with plates full of delicious smelling food. Cora looked over at Danny. "I never thought I'd see the day that Danny Messer got serious and became a husband and a father. Of course I never thought it would happen to George either but I guess once love hits you there's no getting away from it. I'm sorry you weren't able to attend George's wedding. He explained about your injuries; I'm glad to see that you are okay now."

Danny nodded, the delicious roast suddenly feeling large in his mouth. George had come to see him a few days before his wedding. It had been a dark time for Danny; he'd barely come home from the hospital and was still having trouble doing anything for himself. He was reeling from the knowledge that the doctor had only given him a ten percent chance of walking again, a piece of information that he was determined not to share with Lindsay. At a time that he should have been at his happiest - he was a new husband with a beautiful baby girl that he loved more than anything - instead he found himself at the lowest point he'd ever been at, far lower than he'd been even after his wrist injury had ended his baseball career. A baseball career that had been just starting out back during college when he and George first met. As happy as he'd been that his friend had found someone who made him as happy as Lindsay made him; George's presence had reminded him of everything that his injury had jeopardized. Realizing he'd been quiet for too long, Danny swirled his fork through his potatoes and then cast a self-depreciating grin toward Lindsay. "Yeah, well someone wouldn't give up on me until I made a full recovery."

The rest of the meal was spent with Cora regaling Lindsay with amusing stories of Danny from his college days. Once the meal was over and the dishes were cleared away the adults returned to the table to talk terms. Both Lindsay and Danny admitted that they loved the house and were interested in buying. Cora was pleased that she would know that the house was in good hands and would be well taken care of. She picked up a piece of paper.

"After talking to Anna the other day, I had a friend who works at a bank help me do some figures just in case you were interested. Here's what I'm looking for if you want to buy the house." She handed Danny the paper.

Danny's eyes got wide as he passed it over to Lindsay. He shook his head. "You've got to be joking."


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: A bit on the short side tonight but it seemed like a good place to end things. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I appreciate those of you that are reading and I especially thank those of you who are taking the time to leave me a review. I really enjoy reading what you think.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 9<p>

Lindsay climbed into the Avalanche from dropping Lucy off at her school. She was humming contentedly as she pulled the seatbelt over her shoulder and fastened it with an audible click. Danny glanced over at her with a grin before he backed out of the space. She was happier than he'd seen her since the kidnapping and her mood was almost infectious. As he pulled back onto the street, he reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.

"I didn't think you would be the one to be this excited over buying a house." Danny admitted. Every time he'd broached the subject of buying a house in the last year, Lindsay had been so noncommittal about the subject that he hadn't pressed the issue. He knew part of it had to do with her needing a sense of stability while other things in her life were so out of her control. However it was if seeing the house and facing the reality that it could be theirs had created an almost giddy euphoria in her. The closest he'd come to seeing her that vibrate and happy since the kidnapping had been during their night on the town in New Orleans.

Lindsay blushed a little. "I guess I didn't realize how much the idea of being a homeowner appealed to me until it seemed to be a real possibility. Our childhoods were spent growing up in our own home; I guess I never really stopped to think about Lucy might be missing out on because we live in an apartment. I lost count of the number of times I woke up last night and had to look at the paper work again to make sure I hadn't dreamed that it was a real offer."

"I'm still not happy about the price." Danny admitted. He'd been shocked to see Cora's asking price; with a thirty year loan, it would mean their monthly mortgage would be about the same as they were currently paying for rent on their apartment. He didn't like the idea that Cora was cheating herself out of a considerably higher amount simply because she knew him. He'd been ready to nix the whole idea of buying the house if she didn't raise the offer to what he felt would be a fairer price for her. Just as he'd been ready to turn her down, she'd pulled out an appraiser's report. The appraiser had placed the value of the property much higher but had listed several areas that needed repairs.

"_I'm an old woman and I don't want to be bothered with those repairs he listed. That's why they haven't already been done. The amount I'm asking for is almost double what my husband and I paid for this place forty years ago. The repairs I'd have to make if I wanted to get the appraiser's price would cost me just about the difference in what I'm asking you for. I've already discussed my price with George and he agrees that it's the best deal I could make. George's place in Vermont has a small mother-in-law's house on the property and that's where I'll be living so I don't have to worry about a new mortgage. So please don't feel insulted by my offer and just take it with the knowledge that I'm happy to know that this house will continue to be filled with love."_

Lindsay shook her head. "How many times have you been able to change your mother's mind once she made it up about something?" She waited until Danny admitted the answer was practically never. Then she smiled. "I kind of got the idea that Cora is every bit as stubborn as your ma. Besides, she had a good point about the repairs the appraiser found should be done. Even if we only make the absolute necessary repairs, like replacing the outdated appliances in the kitchen, we'll still be putting a huge dent in the settlement fund."

While Cora's asking price bothered Danny, the settlement fund was still a sore subject for Lindsay at times. Because a reporter for Channel 14 had leaked the news that an officer had been taken hostage and had put Lindsay in increased danger, the CEO of the station had given the couple five thousand dollars of his own money had had his attorney work out a settlement to ward off any potential lawsuit. Lindsay hadn't wanted to accept the money but Dennis Monisett wouldn't take no for an answer. In the end, she and Danny had decided to give half of the large settlement to the NYPD's Widows and Orphans fund and put the rest in the bank for when they decided to buy a house.

Danny raised the hand that held hers to his mouth and gave her knuckles a quick kiss. "The pizza we'll have to feed our friends that agree to help us move might put a bigger dent in it. I tried to call Flack last night to tell him we were taking the house but I never could get him. You think he's still worried about everything that's happening at work?"

Lindsay thought back to the way their friend had broken down in her arms Saturday night and the blame he was heaping on himself. That kind of emotional upheaval didn't disappear on its own. "I think we're all going to be worried about what's happening at work until the people responsible are caught. Regardless of whether Flack is the intended target or it's NYPD in general doesn't matter. You mess with one you get us all."

"Damn straight." Danny agreed as he pulled the truck into a parking space in the garage. Hand in hand the couple made their way into the lab which was already abuzz with activity. Danny frowned when he saw several men wearing haz-mat suits without the helmets talking to Mac in the hallway. Had something else happened?

The men left as the couple approached Mac, who looked grim and tired. Danny nodded toward the yellow-suited men. "We didn't receive a powdery letter or something' did we?"

Mac shook his head. "They were just checking the lab as a precaution. Every officer who worked at the 1-2 yesterday is now sick. The first officers started to exhibit symptoms just a few hours before their shift ended. Some have only minor symptoms, cramps and extreme diarrhea but a few had to be hospital during the night with more severe symptoms. It might have been dismissed as a stomach bug if it hadn't hit every single officer on duty at the same time. The haz-mat team has already swept the precinct and came up empty but we are trying to find what caused the sudden illness."

Danny tightened his hold on Lindsay protectively. Another attack and this one hit them in their own home? How had anyone managed that? "Are they going to be okay?"

Mac shrugged. "The doctors can't be sure until they know what caused the illness but so far it doesn't appear life threatening. Damn it, I thought they were bold attacking us at a crime scene but to somehow manage to get into the station? I can't figure out how they did it."

Lindsay frowned, the happiness that she'd been floating in since seeing the house lifting at the news of what had happened. "Is Don okay?"

"Should be. Don didn't work yesterday. Actually I'm kind of glad because it could mean that he isn't the ultimate target." Mac gave her a quizzical look when her worry didn't seem to abate at his reassurance. "Why?"

Her heart began to hammer in her chest. "Don was going to go in yesterday to look in to past cases. He was hoping to find some case at that location that would help him figure out who was behind this. Danny tried to call him last night but he didn't answer. What if he's sick as well and collapsed in his apartment or something?"

Mac reached for his cell phone and dialed Flack's number. It rang several times and then went to voice mail. Now Mac looked just as worried as he replaced the cell phone. "He's not answering."

Danny kissed the side of Lindsay's head. "I'll run by his apartment and check on him. If he happens to show up here, give me a call."

Danny took off toward the elevator which opened just as he approached. Everyone watched with bated breath, hoping that Don Flack would step off the elevator but it was Sid Hammerback instead. His face lit up when he saw Lindsay standing there.

"Lindsay, just the person I was looking for. I may have some more information on your John Doe that could help you identify him."

Lindsay wasn't sure she wanted to even work the case until she knew if Don was okay but the best chance they had of figuring out who was responsible for the attacks could lie in identifying their victim. She watched as Danny disappeared into the elevator and the door closed behind him. She forced her attention on to Sid. "What do you have?"

"The victim was between 16 and 20 years old at time of death."

Lindsay nodded. She'd determined that age range just off appearance; she hoped he had something more substantial than that. "I'm afraid that doesn't narrow things down much. Anything else?"

Sid nodded. "I found evidence of old extensive injuries to the back and right leg. Unfortunately no sign of pins, plates, or other hardware that we could trace using serial numbers but I doubt any doctor would be able to forget those injuries. Judging from the way the extent of the injuries, I would believe the accident that caused them was a big one. Someone will remember it and be able to identify him even if he doesn't look the same."

Mac interjected himself into the conversation, glad to have something to concentrate on rather than his worry of what was going on at the 1-2. "Could his injuries have led to his drug use?

Sid shrugged. "Maybe indirectly but I don't think it was a direct cause. The injuries looked to be about a year old and he's only been using drugs for about five months. I suppose it is possible that a slow recovery could have driven him to drugs but I don't think it was crossover from an addiction to pain medication." He handed Lindsay a sheet of paper. "This is a detailed list of the injuries I found. Fax that to local hospitals and see if they remember treating a patient around a year ago with those injuries and you'll probably identify your John Doe."

Lindsay took the paper and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks Sid." The medical examiner ask that they let him know if they were successful in their identification and returned to the morgue. She glanced at Mac, knowing the older man was just as worried about Flack as she was. She knew she should get started faxing the information to the different hospitals but didn't want to do anything until she heard back from Danny. Mac reached out and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sure he's okay. Go on and get started talking to the hospitals. I'm going to check in with the precinct and see if they know any more. I'll let you know if I find out anything and you do the same if you hear back from Danny."

She nodded and reluctantly headed to her office. Sitting down at her desk she quickly typed up a cover letter asking for physician help in identifying their John Doe. She pulled up a picture of the victim knowing it would be hard for someone to recognize him from before his pre-drug days but attaching it with the information Sid had provided her with anyway just in case. She scanned the information into the computer and quickly sent the information to their database of local hospitals. She sat back as she completed the scan and noticed Mac coming toward her office, his expression even more grim than it was before. She took a steadying breath, afraid of what he had to say when her cell phone rang and she recognized Danny's ringtone. Mac motioned for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"_Hey babe. I'm at Flack's but he's not here. Looks like he might be sick though. There's a bottle of Pepto on the counter. Any word there?"_

"I don't know. Mac's standing at the door looking like he has something to say. Hang on." She looked at Mac expectantly.

"I just talked to the Captain at the 1-2. Flack came in this morning looking about as worse for wear as the men who worked yesterday. Said he looked even sicker once he learned what was going on. Captain said Flack went to his desk, got something out and then left the precinct without a word. That was an hour ago. Captain said he's tried to call Flack several times but it keeps going to voice mail like when I called him."

Her worry increasing, Lindsay related what Mac had said to Danny and then added. "Danny, I'm really concerned."

"_Me too, Babe. I'm going to try a few other places that Flack might have gone to. Tell Mac he can reach me on my cell if we catch a scene."_

Lindsay told him she loved him and then hung up the phone. "Danny's going to check out some other places before heading back. Mac, what can we do?"

The fact that Mac looked worried only increased her own worry. "I don't know. I, along with other department heads, have to go meet Sinclair who wants an update on this whole mess. I don't know what I can tell him but I have no choice but to go. If Danny finds Flack or if anyone hears from him, I want to know immediately."

Lindsay promised and then watched him go. She felt useless. At least Danny was off actively looking for Flack and Mac was meeting with the heads to try to put an end to all of this. What was she doing? Sitting there hoping the phone would ring with either news of her friend or from a hospital with an identity of their victim. When the waiting seemed to be getting the best of her, she arose and walked down to the break room for a cup of coffee. Maybe it would help settle her nerves. She was just returning the carafe to the warmer when she heard a scrap of noise behind her. She turned and was relieved to see Flack standing there even if he did look worse for wear. His eyes bore into her, almost pleading with her to do something.

"I need your help."


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: I was asked in a review if this was a Flack centered piece. Even though Flack seems to be playing a pretty big role in the last couple of chapters (and will still have a big role in the next couple of chapters), this is still a Danny and Lindsay story. I hope you are continuing to enjoy the story. This may be one of my favorite chapters ever. Reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 10<p>

Lindsay set her mug on the counter and engulfed Flack in a tight hug, relieved to see that he was okay. He seemed a little surprised but returned the hug. After a moment, Lindsay pulled away, as if remembering not only that he'd made a request but that there were other people worried about him. "What do you need?"

He reached in his pocket and pulled a saran-wrapped pastry. "I need you to analyze the composition of these donuts - and no jokes about me trying to find someone's secret recipe."

Lindsay accepted the covered donut with a puzzled expression. "I think you have me confused with Danny. I'll analyze it but while I do so, you need to send Mac a text and then call Danny to let them know that you are okay. You've had us all worried since you wouldn't answer your phone."

Don reached for his phone but shrugged. "Hard to have a good internal debate with yourself when you are constantly being interrupted by the phone ringing."

As he made the calls, he followed Lindsay down the hallway to the Trace lab. She kept glancing up at him as she prepared the specimen for the mass spectrometer. Her curiosity was aroused as to why Flack wanted her to test the donut but figured he'd give her an answer soon. As she listened to Flack's side of the conversation with Danny, she could tell her husband must be giving their friend a hard time about being unreachable. Once he hung up, she waited a minute before starting her gentle questioning.

"Care to give me an idea what you think I'm going to find?"

Flack sighed, sitting down on one of the nearby stools. He shook his head. "To be honest, I hope that all you find is flour, eggs, chocolate, and whatever the hell else you normally find in chocolate donuts."

Lindsay nodded. "And yet if you were sure of that, I wouldn't be here testing it. Nor would you be having some sort of internal debate. What's going on, Flack?"

Flack sighed. "Last night I couldn't stay out of the bathroom - sorry, I know that's probably more information than you wanted; I thought I had some sort of stomach virus or something. Then I got to work this morning and discovered that everyone who worked yesterday was sick. Those donuts were the only thing we all had in common and the guys in the hospital right now are the guys who ate the most of them."

The machine beeped that it had the results and Lindsay looked down, her brow furrowed. Flack sighed. "Well?"

"Flour, eggs, sugar, all the normal things you'd expect to find in chocolate donuts except there is no trace of any chocolate."

With a frown, Flack shook his head. "Are you kidding me? Of course there's chocolate in them…"

Lindsay shook her head. "No chocolate but plenty of sennosides."

"Do I need a translator or can you put that in English?"

"X-Lax. Someone put enough laxitive in these donuts to unstop an elephant. Flack, if you know what bakery these came from, we can send a team in to question everyone there. Maybe we can find out who's responsible."

If anything, Flack looked sicker. "They didn't come from a bakery. Damn it, Lindsay, are you sure?"

Lindsay joined him at one of the lab tables and sat on the stool closest to him. She reached out and touched his arm. "The results are pretty clear. Flack, where did the donuts come from? Why the internal debate?"

"The cop in me couldn't deny what the facts were telling me but I just couldn't accept it. Suspecting Miss Myrtle of giving us tainted donuts is like suspecting my grandmother. Hell, I'd rather suspect my grandmother. Every cop who has ever worked at the 1-2, especially my dad, is going to have my hide if I bring her in for questioning. I don't expect you could forget about those results, could you?"

Lindsay shook her head. "You know I can't. Who is Miss Myrtle?"

Flack couldn't look at her. "The sweetest old woman you could ever hope to meet. Her husband was a captain at the 1-2 when my dad was there. She cooks for us once a month - we even mark the day in red on the calendar cause it's such a treat. Nobody scheduled to work that day ever takes the day off we look forward to it that much, and everyone not scheduled tries a figure out a way to work overtime. There's no way she'd try to hurt us."

"Maybe there's a good explanation." Lindsay offered gently. It was easy to see how much this was hurting him. "What if instead of interrogation we make it a casual conversation. You and I could pay her a visit, nothing really formal and maybe get to the bottom of everything without causing a big uproar."

Flack looked up, almost hopeful. "You really think we can find out how the X-Lax got in the donuts without making Miss Myrtle feel like she's apart of an investigation?"

Lindsay winked at him, happy to see him looking just a little les morose. "I know the two of us can play a pretty good case of hardball in the interrogation room but I'm pretty sure we can do subtle just as well. Come on, let's go pay her a visit; you can tell me more about her on the way."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Lindsay waited until they were in Flack's car headed toward Queens before asking the questions she was curious about. "I take it Miss Myrtle is important to you."

Flack nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. "She's important to all of us. Everyone loves her, even those none of us think are capable of loving anyone. You know Brickman on third shift?" Lindsay shuddered in response to the surly officer's name. They had questioned whether the man's own mother could stand to be around him. Flack continued. "All of a sudden about ten months ago while we were all eating whatever it was she'd brought us that month, Brickman stood up and said we should all be ashamed of ourselves. Said we all looked forward to Miss Myrtle filling our bellies but we did nothing for her in return. Said he was going to stop by her house on the next Saturday and see if she needed any work done around the house since she didn't have anyone who would help her make repairs and such. Ask who would be willing to go with him. Then he started the Miss Myrtle fund; put $100 in a jar and encouraged the rest of us to put in money when we could to help pay for repairs she needed and for her cab rides each month. Now we all take turns stopping by to help her. There's nothing we wouldn't do for her and here I am on my way to accuse her of making us sick."

"She doesn't have any family?" Lindsay pressed, hoping to turn him away from his guilt once more.

"Not anymore. It's really sad actually. Captain Godwin and Miss Myrtle had one daughter who grew up, got married, and had a little girl. When the baby was about two, the daughter was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know what kind;-I wasn't even born then but Dad's told me the story- but it was bad and aggressive. The husband left her and the baby after the diagnosis so her parents took her in. After the daughter died they adopted their granddaughter and raised her as their own." He didn't add that Don Flack, Sr. had told him the story while Flack was recovering in the hospital from the explosion. He could still remember the day he woke up to hear his father crying. He'd never seen his father cry before and it seemed almost surreal seeing it then. When Senior had realized that Don was awake he'd brushed the tears away and said he'd never understood why Captain Godwin had seemed to age ten years in a day while his daughter had been dying but after watching his own son at death's door, he now understood. Told him that no parent should ever have to worry about their children dying first. "Captain Godwin died about five years ago. By then their granddaughter-turned-daughter Pam had also gotten married and had two sons. Pretty good kids although one seemed to spend more time with his grandparents than the other. Last year Pam was killed in a car accident and her kids quit visiting. Her husband doesn't have anything to do with Miss Myrtle either despite the fact that he lives right here in New York."

Lindsay shook her head, feeling sorry for the elderly woman. If, God forbid, anything every happened to Danny, she couldn't imagine turning her back on the Messers. And even though her own parents lived further away, she was sure that Danny would make sure that Lucy, no matter how old she was, still visited them from time to time. "She's lucky to have all of you to keep an eye on her."

Flack shook his head. "We're the fortunate ones. It's not about the food she brings us - although it is phenomenal - it's the love she puts into the effort. I'm telling you, Linds, I can't explain how someone could accidentally put that much X-Lax in donuts but I know she didn't do it on purpose."

"And we'll get an answer to it. I mean, it's not like she's going to be the one that fired on us or threw that Molotov cocktail in the patrol car."

The image of that did draw a slight chuckle out of Flack. Pleased to see him look a little less worried, Lindsay decided to change the subject for the last little bit of the drive. "Did you get a chance to look for a past call on 43rd Street that could explain why our suspects are targeting that location."

Again Flack shook his head. "Miss Myrtle was just arriving when I got the station yesterday. I took her home and discovered she had a couple of things that needed a quick repair. After I finished those, she insisted on cooking lunch for me. By the time I finally was able to leave, my stomach had started to do funny things so I just went home. You know the rest."

Lindsay nodded. "Once we get this straightened out, we'll see what we can find out."

Flack pulled into a driveway and turned off the car. As he stared up at the modest but neat home, he once more looked like a man awaiting a firing squad. Lindsay reached over and gave his hand a squeeze before opening the car door. Almost reluctantly Flack got out of the car as well and followed her up the steps to the house. He reached out and pressed the doorbell and shuffled uneasily as he heard a faint once announcing that she was coming.

The door opened to reveal Miss Myrtle. Her face went from a polite half-smile of greeting to a wide, beaming smile complete with teeth. "Donnie, two days in a row. If you aren't careful, the neighbors are going to start talking about me having a hot young boyfriend." Then she noticed Lindsay for the first time and her eyes fairly danced with glee. "Donnie, you finally brought a girl over to meet me. Bless my soul, I was beginning to think I wouldn't live to see the day. And what a beautiful young woman. You two will make beautiful babies one day. My dear it is a pleasure to meet you; I'm so sorry for that silly talk about Donnie being my boyfriend."

Don had turned red but Lindsay simply stepped forward and shook the elderly lady's hand. "Mrs. Godwin, I'm Lindsay Messer…"

"Mrs. Godwin was my husband's mother, please call me Miss Myrtle. Now, come in the both of you and sit down. I want to hear all about how the two of you met. Are the two of you getting married or just living together? Donnie, don't look so shocked; I may be old but I know how things work between couples now-a-days."

The two officers followed her into the house. Since Don seemed to have lost all ability to talk, Lindsay took up the conversation. "We actually met at the zoo near the tiger exhibit; the same place I met my husband, Danny. Miss Myrtle, I work with Don; we're not a couple."

Miss Myrtle shook her head. "Are you sure? The two of you really would make beautiful babies. What about your husband? Is he as handsome as this one?"

With a warm smile, Lindsay reached into her purse for her wallet. She could see why everyone loved this elderly woman. She flipped through her pictures until she found a good one of her, Danny, and Lucy. "That's my husband Danny and our little girl Lucy."

Miss Myrtle looked at the picture carefully, nodding approvingly. "He's not a bad catch either and little Lucy is definitely a beautiful child. Do you have a sister that might be interested in a tall dark and handsome officer like our Donnie here?"

Lindsay shook her head, amused by how embarrassed Flack still looked. "No, Ma'am. I have a whole lot of brothers but no sisters."

Miss Myrtle handed back the wallet. "It must be so exciting being an officer. I always thought I would like to solve crimes; I grew up reading Nancy Drew books but in my day women just didn't have jobs like that. Now, since you've burst an old woman's dreams that Donnie here is finally settling down, what brings the two of you all the way out here."

"I wanted to meet you. Don has told me so much about you and I just had to meet you in person. I hope you don't mind us just dropping by without calling first."

"Posh, of course not." Miss Myrtle shook her head. "About the only company I get these days are those sweet boys from Henry's station coming to check on me. My grandson Tanner used to come by quite regularly but every since his poor mama died he just hasn't been the same. They were both in a wreck you see. Tanner lived but they couldn't save both him and my Pammie. Poor boy blames himself."

Myrtle rose and crossed to the fireplace mantle and picked up a framed photograph and handed it to Lindsay. A tall, good looking teenage boy of about 16 stared back at her, his expression so carefree and boyish. He looked vaguely familiar to Lindsay but she couldn't figure out why. She handed the frame back to Myrtle who set it on the coffee table. Lindsay could understand that survivor's guilt only too well; she just wished he didn't have to hurt his grandmother in the process.

Myrtle pulled a handkerchief from her dress pocket and dabbed at her eyes and then forced a smile at the two officers. Don had recovered somewhat from his embarrassment but sensed that Lindsay was handling the conversation quite well without him so he let her continue. Myrtle shook her head suddenly.

"What a horrible hostess am I. Would the two of you like some coffee and cookies; the cookies are only store made, I'm afraid. I did all my baking for my boys Saturday but they aren't that bad for being store bought."

Lindsay saw this as an opportunity to broach the subject of the donuts. "Don was telling me what a fabulous baker you are. He says everyone at the station goes on and on about your donuts. I've tried to make them before but let's just say it wasn't pretty. Lucy even called them yucky and she loves chocolate anything. Do you use cocoa powder or chocolate chips? If you don't mind sharing your secret recipe…"

Don stared at his friend. He had to admit; she was good. Myrtle reached over and patted her knee. "Of course I don't mind. Barbara loved for me to teach her things in the kitchen but Pammie couldn't stand to be in the kitchen. It'll be nice to be able to teach someone else. I don't use powder or chips. I use baking chocolate; I get it in bars and melt in a double boiler. I still have some left over from making donuts Saturday; come with me into the kitchen and I'll show you what you need."

Exchanging a glance with Flack, Lindsay rose and followed the elderly lady into the small kitchen. Flack followed. Myrtle opened a cabinet door and pulled out a package but stared at it in dismay. It was a package of X-Lax. She looked from the package to the two officers, obviously confused. "What's this doing up there? This should be in the bathroom cabinet. Sometimes an old body like mine needs a little help getting regular, you know. I must have put it in the wrong place when I did the shopping last week. I can't believe I didn't notice it Saturday when I was cooking."

Suddenly the color drained from her face and she reached out to grab hold of the counter to steady herself. Almost immediately Flack was at her side leading her to the table. She gripped his arm. "Donnie, please tell me I didn't use that stuff instead of my usual chocolate. Oh my stars in heaven, did I make people sick?" Tears filled her eyes.

Now Flack felt even worse about bringing the donuts to Lindsay to analyze. It was obvious by how shocked Miss Myrtle was that she hadn't done it on purpose - not that he ever really thought it was possible that she had. But was it any better knowing that she had absolutely no idea of the mistake she'd made. "We're going to be okay, Miss Myrtle. It's okay."

She shook her head. "No, it's not. You boys down at Henry's station are all I have left in this world and I did this to all of you? If I'm starting to get so senile that I can't tell the difference between a laxative and baking chocolate, then maybe it's time I find myself one of those old folks homes. I'm so ashamed. I wouldn't blame you boys if you never wanted to see me or my cooking ever again."

Flack took her hands in his and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "Miss Myrtle, we love you. If you never cooked us another morsel, we would still want you in our lives, but if you baked another batch of donuts tomorrow, we'd devour them just as quickly as we always do. This one mistake doesn't change how we feel about you. Please don't beat yourself up over it."

Removing her hand, she patted his cheek tenderly. "You are such a sweet boy. But still, this wasn't some small mistake; I could have seriously hurt you boys with my mistake. How can you be so nice about it? I'm just a crazy old bat that should hang up my apron…"

"Stop it!" Flack's voice was sharp. "I don't want to ever hear you put yourself down like that. Lindsay asked you earlier about your secret recipe; well the truth is your secret ingredient in anything you cook is not something that can be bought in any store. You pack everything you cook full of love and that's why we go crazy over your treats each month. I for one would miss it terribly and I don't think I'd be the only one. So please, put this behind you; I know I am."

Across the room where she'd been standing at the cabinet, Lindsay wiped at her eyes, touched by the loving way Flack was handling the situation. She looked up at the opened cabinet but everything else seemed quite normal even well organized. Something about the situation was bothering her but she couldn't figure it out.

"Will you tell the boys how sorry I am?" Myrtle asked, a pleading to her tone that was heartbreaking. Flack smiled and nodded before leaning over and kissing her wizened cheek.

They stood up and Flack told her that he and Lindsay needed to get back to work. Myrtle nodded and went back to Lindsay and hugged her. "I hope your husband is as much of a catch as that one right there would be. You may not be Donnie's girl but you're my girl now and I want you to feel free to drop by anytime."

Lindsay smiled and returned the hug. "I'll do that. I'll even bring my daughter with me."

The elderly woman's eyes lit up with pleasure. "Oh how wonderful. It's been way too long since I've had a toddler running around here. I'd love to meet Lucy - Danny too if you can get him to come with you."

Lindsay promised to try and she and Flack made their goodbyes and returned to the car. She put her seat belt on but Don continued to stare at the house. "You think it could be Alzheimer's?"

Lindsay looked over at him and shook her head. "No, I don't. She seems to sharp for that. She remembered both Lucy's and Danny's name after I mentioned them only once."

Flack sighed as he turned the key in the ignition and backed the car down the driveway onto the street. "Yesterday, she got me confused with my dad. I didn't think anything of it then…"

"That doesn't mean anything." Lindsay assured him. "Granny Coleman had a mind like a steel trap until the day that she died yet whenever I was around her I began to believe my name was Mary Ruth Linda Lindsay cause she always had to call roll until she got to my name. I can't explain it but I don't think she accidentally confused X-Lax with her baking chocolate but I also don't think she did it on purpose either. I know that doesn't make sense but I've got a strong feeling."

Don cut a glance her way. "You got your Mac on this morning?"

Lindsay smirked, glad to see he was back to his normal joking self. "Something like that. I don't know Flack; I know Miss Myrtle wasn't in that car but I can't help but feel like this was another attack just like the two that happened on 43rd Street."

They grew quiet after that as turned onto Jewel Avenue. A dark Chevy Malibu pulled in front of Flack driving almost too slowly. Lindsay looked at it for a moment; her eyes widened as she realized it was missing a tag. "Flack, that's the car that shot at us. I'm sure of it."

Flack nodded. "Call it in. I'm just going to follow discreetly until back-up arrives."

Lindsay picked up the radio and called in their location and that they had spotted the suspect vehicle in the attacks. No sooner had she cleared the radio, her cell phone rang. She answered, not surprised to see that it was Mac.

"_Do not attempt to make the stop until back-up arrives." _Mac ordered without preamble.

"Don't worry Mac; we are following only." Just as the words were out of Lindsay's mouth, the Malibu suddenly sped up. "Damn, they've spotted us. Sorry Mac, doesn't look like we can wait."

Flack flipped his blue lights on and sped up as well. They weaved in an out of traffic for several minutes as they got nearer and nearer to the Grand Central Parkway. Traffic got heavier and Lindsay was starting to worry that they might crash into another car. She knew Flack wanted to catch the suspects but it wasn't worth possibly injuring someone else. She looked over at him and saw that his face was a mask of total concentration.

"Flack, maybe you should slow down a little." She suggested lowly.

He frowned. "I wish I could. Lindsay, make sure your seat belt is secure. The brakes are gone."

- CSI: NY -

Author's Note 2: Okay, watched the season premier tonight. Great episode but I'm very confused about what happened to Claire. She was out of the building when the second plane hit. Maybe I've missed it for all these years but I don't recall hearing about people dying on the street when the planes crashed into the building. What happened to her? I'm confused. I loved the scenes between Claire and Mac, wish we could see more of that. I like Danny in a uniform but I'm not too sure about the mustache. I'm glad we got to see a kiss between Lindsay and Danny even if it was fleeting and in the background. These season has definite potential.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: I hope you enjoy the new chapter. I appreciate every review I get. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 11<p>

At first Lindsay believed that Flack was going to be able to slow the speeding car and pull it off to the shoulder of the road without causing accidents. She marveled at how her friend almost expertly weaved the car from lane to lane around slower moving vehicles as if he were competing in some sort of slow speed version of the Indianapolis 500. It was going to take a while to get the car to decrease its speed - so far it had only dropped from 80 to 75 mph - but as long as the rest of the traffic continued it's current way, Lindsay was relatively confident that Flack would succeed. In fact, she was just about to announce her belief to Mac who was holding on to the line when the situation went from bad to worse.

Suddenly in front of them was a sea of red brake lights as the cars in the lead suddenly made use of their working brakes. At that point there were only two options. One, allow their vehicle to plow full speed into the back of another car and risk injuring or killing civilians. The second option would be to make a sudden twist of the wheel and take their chances in a collision with the guard rail and the ground to the other side of it. Which really meant for them they had only one option. Without a word, Flack yanked the wheel to the right sending the vehicle crashing through the guardrail, breaking through it like it hadn't even been there.

Lindsay couldn't prevent the scream that erupted from deep inside her as the car became airborne. Absurdly she couldn't help but think back to the times when she was a little girl and she and her brother had played Dukes of Hazard and pretended to jump the General Lee over some sort of barricade. She couldn't help but feel like the show always made such jumps look much more fun than it was in reality. She could hear Mac's almost frantic voice asking what was happening. Any hopes that a hard landing at the end of their over 150 foot flight would be the worst of the experience ended when the car began flipping end over end as the hood of the car struck the ground first. The phone slipped from her fingers and tumbled about the interior of the car.

The airbags deployed as soon as the hood hit the ground the first time, further pushing Flack and Lindsay against their seats. Lindsay's seatbelt locked causing the material to bite into her right shoulder as her head bounced off the side window. The car didn't cease it's end over end spiral until the vehicle was completely out of ground and was sinking slowly into Meadow Lake. Her eyes closed as the car sank into the depths of the lake.

"Lindsay? LINDSAY!" Flack's voice become more insistent and panicked and Lindsay's eyes fluttered back open.

Her head was pounding and from around the edges of the now deflated airbag, she could see nothing but water out of the front windshield as she hung almost upside down, pinned to her seat by her seatbelt. Now instead of The Dukes of Hazard she pictured herself on some sort of thrilling fair ride that had quickly lost its thrill. She groaned and looked over at Flack. He looked shaken but relatively unharmed as he looked back at her with equal fear. "Flack? I'm okay I think. What about you?"

"Alive, guess I can't complain. We gotta figure out a way out of here. I didn't get a chance to open the door when we first hit the water so we'd have to wait for the pressure to equalize to get out that way. Let's get these seatbelts off and see if we can break the rear window."

Water was already seeping through the cracks the crash had created in the front windshield and the car would soon fill with water. Lindsay nodded with a slight groan. The water would have already shorted out the electrical system preventing them from lowering the windows for their escape. They would have to break the glass in order to get free. Lindsay's seatbelt came undone without any trouble and the sudden release sent her tumbling toward the dashboard with a jarring thud. She groaned again as she looked up and saw that Flack was struggling with his own seatbelt. He shook his head.

"It's stuck."

Lindsay reached in her back pocket for the buck knife she always carried with her when she worked. Opening the blade she braced one hand against Flack's chest as she cut the material with the other. She hoped to be able to save him the same tumble she'd taken when the belt finally came loose. Once he was free, he reached between his door and seat and pulled the long Maglite flashlight from it's holder. The heavy metal would make it easier to break open the glass.

"Flack, I get you are thinking the back glass because it's closer to the surface but the side window would be easier to break." Lindsay suggested as she re-pocketed her knife. Flack looked at the small side window and knew she was right but wasn't sure if he'd be able to fit his larger frame through the smaller opening. The front windshield however already had some major cracks and might be easier to break with a few careful blows with the flashlight. The downside of it would be the sudden rush of water that would enter the car.

"Take several deep breaths to expand your lungs. The car will flood pretty quickly once the window breaks. Wait until the last second to actually hold your breath." Flack warned as he slipped out of his jacket. He wrapped the material around the hand clutching the flashlight, hoping to protect it from the broken glass. He waited until he saw that she was ready and then swung the Maglite against the glass. It took several blows before it gave way. He threw the flashlight aside and inhaled deeply before holding his breath and water closed over his head as he peeled back the cracked windshield.

Grabbing Lindsay's hand, he pulled her forward and forced her through the opening first. As she cleared the opening and followed the chassis of the car upward to the surface, he followed her out. A rough section of the remaining glass sliced his upper arm as he wedged himself through. He almost lost the breath he'd been holding as he grabbed his arm.

Lindsay stopped around the back wheel of the car and looked back surprised not to see Flack right at her heels. A couple of early cold snaps of the fall had already turned the water chilly but she had to ignore the temperature as she turned back to the car. She swam back to check on him and found him clutching his bleeding arm. She touched his shoulder and he nodded his head to let her know he was okay. He let go of his injured arm long enough to point upward, wanting her to go on and forget about him.

Lindsay shook her head, unwilling to leave him behind. She swam to his side and put her arm around his waist before using the edge of the car to help her kick off, propelling them both up toward the surface. Her lungs were burning; though she had believed she had fully recovered physically from her ordeal at the hands of the Atwoods, the truth was her lung capacity after a collapsed lung wasn't back to where it had been before she'd been injured. She was feeling it now as they screamed for the need for oxygen. She wasn't sure she'd make it to the surface as her kicks got more and more feeble. She felt Flack's arm come around her waist much the same way hers was around his and let him do the kicking for just a moment as spots of blackness clouded her vision.

Just as she was sure she was about to lose consciousness completely, Lindsay's head broke through the surface. She sucked in oxygen with an audible gasp, leaning back so that she could just float for a moment and use the little energy she had left to take in as much oxygen as her aching lungs could handle.

"Linds?" Flack asked breathless himself.

She nodded, unable to talk to actually answer him. If she could just float there for a moment, then maybe she would recover enough to make the swim to shore and safety. As she was thinking that, an unfamiliar arm came across her chest pulling her close to a strange body. Unconsciously she strained against whoever was holding her; her body automatically reaction to the intrusion of her personal space.

"Hold on, we're getting you to safety." A young deep voice told her before she could panic. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see someone grabbing Flack the same way and realized a couple of good Samaritans had come to their rescue. She quite fighting against her would be rescuer and concentrated on getting her breathing under control as she was hauled to the safety of the shore.

By the time her feet could touch the ground without her head going under the water, she'd mostly gotten her breath back even though her head was still throbbing painfully. With her rescuer's arm around her waist she walked the rest of the way to the shore. There, she sank gratefully to the ground, glancing back up at the road from where she and Flack had started to the lake almost 200 feet away. She gulped. The two of them were extremely lucky to be able to walk away from the crash mostly intact. Her body was shaking and she wasn't sure how much of it was the cold from the water and how much was the shock of the accident itself. She glanced over at Flack who had sat down beside her. She was horrified to see the growing red stain on the sleeve of his shirt and realized the cut must have been more serious than she'd first thought.

"You okay?" She asked, still sounding out of breath.

He nodded as the man who had pulled him from the lake tried to look at the cut on Flack's arm. "What about you?"

"Feeling damn lucky." She answered him and then emitted a small yelp of surprise and indignation when unfamiliar hands encircled her neck holding it in place, fingers resting on her jaw line. She scrambled backward sitting in the water's edge. The man who had helped her to the shore held his arms up.

"Didn't mean to scare you. I was just trying to hold immobilization on your neck in case you injured it in the crash. I'm an EMT student and we've been learning about car collisions."

She didn't respond but glared at him. She knew what he was saying made sense but she couldn't reign in her reaction to being touched in certain ways by strangers. Michelle, the rape counselor she was seeing, as well as the women in her support group had warned her not to be surprised if certain things triggered bad reactions in her even months later. Fortunately she was able to control her reactions if she was prepared for situations that had a tendency of triggering them but this had been too unexpected. Seeing him shift from foot to foot uncomfortably, she finally found her voice.

"My neck is fine." Actually it was a little stiff but she was sure it wasn't a serious injury. "I don't like to be touched."

He nodded, his expression and tone conciliatory. "I'm really sorry. I should have asked permission and explained what I was going to do before I actually touched you. I forget that part every time. If you don't want me to hold immobilization I don't have to but can I please help you out of the water? You are already shaking pretty hard. Now I know why our instructor suggested we keep an emergency blanket in the car."

Flack nodded toward the spot of the lake where the car had now completely disappeared. "I have one in the trunk but I don't think it'll do us any good."

Sirens cut through the midday calm as an ambulance and police cars pulled up as close as they could which was still up on the parkway 200 feet away. A black Avalanche pulled carefully through the broken guardrail and drove across the grass toward where they were sitting. Seeing the truck make it across the grass, the ambulance followed suit so that they would not have to traverse the distance with their patients.

The passenger side of the Avalanche flew open and Danny bailed out of the vehicle and ran toward he saw Lindsay sitting near the water. Equally happy to see her husband, she rose shakily to her feet and collapsed in his arms as soon as he reached her side. For a few minutes Danny was content to simply hold her and reassure himself that she was alive and in relatively one piece. The feel of her rapidly beating heart against his chest and the shaking of her body was enough at first but then he pulled back to get a good look at her. He cupped her head tenderly in his hands but released her the moment she winced at the contact.

"Linds, Baby…" He looked like he wanted to say more but the emotion of just seeing her standing there overcame him and he pulled her to him once more, pressing kisses on the top of her head. At last his words returned to him. "Mac had you on speaker phone and when I heard you scream my heart stopped. Then we could hear the sounds of metal crunching and we knew you had crashed. Then the phone cut out completely and I didn't know if you had survived or were horribly injured or what. I sent you our text message but there was no answer."

Lindsay felt safe in Danny's arms and didn't want him to let her go any more than he seemed to want to let her go. She could see paramedics hovering in her periphery waiting to check her out but just wanted to be held by her husband for a little longer. Tears filled her eyes but didn't spill over. "I think I'm going to need another phone. They are going to get tired of replacing my phone every few months."

"Replacing phones is easy, Babe; you, however, can't be replaced. I don't want to let you go but at the same time I need to know you really are okay. I guess I have to let the medics check you out."

Even at his words, his arms did not slacken around her and Lindsay didn't pull away. She would be content just to have him take her home and hold her the rest of the day and night but she was pretty sure Mac would never let her let her get away with not getting checked out. She leaned her head up to kiss Danny's lips but the sudden movement sent a wave of dizziness over her forcing her to clutch at Danny's back to steady herself. He recognized the maneuver and pulled back in concern, staring into her eyes.

"Easy Babe. Let's sit you down." He helped ease her to the ground and one of the medics seized the moment to shine a light in her eyes.

Her eyes closed against the intrusion but the medic insisted that she allow him to look. "I take it you are dizzy. Any nausea?"

"No." Lindsay answered, not chancing things by shaking her head. "I'm okay, really. Check on Flack, he cut his arm on the glass. It looked like it was bleeding pretty bad."

"My partner is checking him. Did you lose consciousness at all?"

Again she replied in the negative but Flack protested. "You blacked out for a few seconds. It took me calling your name about five times to get you to respond. I think she hit her head pretty hard on the side window."

She would have shot him a murderous look but it would require her to move her head and she was pretty sure the dizziness would worsen if she did. The medic asked permission to check for broken bones; Lindsay stilled herself for him to touch her as she gave him permission. As long as she was expecting it, a strange man invading her personal space didn't scare her the way it had right after the attack.

"Okay, we need to get you secured on a backboard so we can transport the two of you." The medic replied as he slipped a cervical collar around her neck. Lindsay was okay with being put on a backboard until the medic started strapping her down. As soon as her hands were trapped beneath the snaps, she could feel her shaking worsen. Her vision tunneled to just a pinpoint of light directly over her and her breathing came in shallow gasps.

Danny recognized the signs of the impending panic attack almost immediately. It had been over a month since she'd had one but it had happened often enough that he knew the signs to watch for and the usual triggers. She couldn't stand to have her hands trapped by anything; he'd learned the hard way one afternoon when the two of them had taken Lucy to the park for a picnic and he and Lucy had laughingly pinned Lindsay down in a fit of the tickle monster. He wasn't sure who that panic attack had scared the most: him, Lindsay, or Lucy who was too young to understand why Mommy was upset.

"Guys, unstrap her."

The medic started to protest that it was standard procedure but Danny practically shoved him away as he reached for the straps himself. "Screw your protocols, I said unstrap her. She can't have her hands trapped like that."

The medic mumbled about the risk of injury but did as Danny requested. As soon as she was free of the straps, Lindsay bolted up and grabbed Danny in another hug. He held her tightly, rubbing her back until he could feel the last of the hysteria of the panic attack leave her body. As he held her, he glanced over to where Flack had also been strapped to a board. He felt a little guilty for not checking on his friend a little more but when it came to Lindsay being in danger, he had a tendency of getting tunnel vision. It wasn't that he wasn't worried about Flack; he was just more worried about his wife. There had been too many times lately that she'd been in grave danger and he wasn't sure his heart could take much more worry.

He helped the medic move her from the backboard to the stretcher where she could sit up and not feel so trapped. Then the medic left her in order to help his partner move Flack's backboard to the back of the ambulance. Mac knelt beside the stretcher.

"How're you feeling?"

"I'll be okay. I'd fight going to the hospital if I thought you'd let me get away with it."

Mac smiled; he could tell she was as shaken up as Flack was but at least she could make jokes. Then his expression grew somber. He hated what he had to do. "Lindsay, you know I need to take your weapon."

It was his job to secure their weapons before they were transported to the hospital. Neither the ambulance crew nor the receiving hospital wanted to be responsible for taking care of an injured officer's weapon so it was the responsibility of the senior officer on the scene to take possession of the weapons before the officers were transported. He'd already gotten Flack's gun from him but he almost hated to ask for Lindsay's.

The tears that had filled her eyes earlier finally spilled over as her hand went to unholster her weapon. She knew it was procedure and would only be until the hospital released her but still the idea of willingly surrendering her weapon after working so hard to get it back hurt perhaps more than the accident itself. Her hand wavered as she started to hold it out to her boss and friend.

Danny reached out and wiped away one side of the tears with the pad of his thumb. It cut him deeply to see her so upset. He looked back at Mac, who looked equally upset by her reaction. "Mac, can I hold on to it for her?"

Though it was against protocols, Mac was ready to agree just to erase the hurt from Lindsay's face. But before he could say yes, Lindsay thrust the gun in his direction. "Just take the damn thing."

Mac closed his hand over her own hand clutching the gun making sure he had eye contact with her. "This isn't like before, Lindsay. As soon as you are released from the hospital, it's yours again. I promise you that."

She nodded, the tears running down her cheeks threatening to turn into outright sobs. She recognized she was making an issue out of nothing and she doubted she was really that upset about turning over her gun but it was just the last straw on what her nerves could take for that day.

The medics appeared, ready to take her to the ambulance. Danny looked at them. "I'm going with you."

"Sorry sir." The medic who'd been treating Lindsay informed him. "No room."

"I'm sorry, did that sound like I was asking if I could come? It wasn't a question but a statement. I'm going with you and you ain't gonna stop me." Danny's jaw rocked as he followed them to the ambulance. Mac watched them, pretty sure he knew how this was going to play out. The tow truck was just coming down the slope.

Mac reached for his phone and dialed a number and waited for an answer. "Adam, it's Mac. Lindsay and Don are going to be okay. I'm about to go meet them at the hospital. I'm having Don's car towed to the lab. As soon as it gets there, I want you and Sheldon to go over it with a fine tooth comb. Whatever caused the brakes to go out, I want to know immediately."

He hung up the phone and went to give his orders to the tow company.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: I love the character of Adam especially when he gets flustered and seems to be tripping all over his words trying to get out what he wants to say. I hope I did his character justice with that sweet stumbling in the flashback scene in this chapter.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 12<p>

By the time Mac Taylor strode into the Emergency Room more than an hour had passed since the ambulance had wheeled off carrying two injured friends and co-workers to the hospital. He'd wanted to follow right behind and check on them but he had to remain on scene until the tow truck had their orders on what to do with Flack's car once it was pulled from Meadow Lake. Then a security guard hired to keep a watch on the lake area, had pulled him into the security office to show him the security feed of the accident. Seeing Flack's car topple end over end until slipping under the surface of the placid lake. It made him almost sick to realize that by all rights, his two friends should not have been able to walk away from the accident the way they had. Don Flack must be one hell of a driver; an opinion he planned on sharing with the detective once he saw him.

After a flash of his badge, a nurse directed him to the cubicle that his friend had been assigned. As he approached the cubicle, he could see doctor was patching up the gash on Flack's arm. Mac simply stood in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt the repair job; using the time instead to study his friend.

Flack was lying back on the cot staring at the ceiling as the doctor worked. The look on his face was one more of frustration, worry, and anger instead of pain. Mac knew the younger man well enough to know that Flack was wracking his brain trying to figure out what exactly had happened and if there had been anything he could have done differently.

"Okay, Detective, that's the last stitch. The nurse will come in and bandage the wound and update your tetanus shot. You are sure you aren't feeling dizzy or nauseated?"

Flack nodded his head mutely and the doctor left the cubicle nodding to Mac as he passed. Mac waited a moment more to see if Flack would notice he was there but the younger man simply continued to stare up at the ceiling. After a moment, Mac cleared his throat and entered the cubicle. Flack sighed and fumbled with the controls on the side of the bed raising it up to where he was almost sitting completely up. He sighed. "Mac, I swear to you the car was fine earlier. There was nothing wrong with the breaks until after we started trailing the Malibu."

Mac's mouth was a straight line. "You know I don't like to get ahead of the evidence but I believe once Adam and Sheldon examine your car they are going to find that the brake line was cut. It would help if I knew what the two of you were doing in Queens to begin with."

Flack glanced down at the blanket on the bed, not wanting to admit what they had learned about the donuts but knowing he couldn't keep the information from Mac. "Lindsay went with me to talk to Miss Myrtle. The donuts were what made everyone sick yesterday. But Mac, she didn't do it on purpose; it was all a mistake. And she couldn't have cut the brake lines. Not only was she not out of our sight the entire time we were there, but she's never driven a day in her life; I doubt she'd know a brake line from a windshield wiper."

Mac knew all about Myrtle Godwin; he'd been around the 1-2 enough to have heard of the matriarchal legend. He'd even had the pleasure of meeting her a few times and he could see why everyone loved her so much. He also knew how hard it would have been for Flack or any officer at the station to even begin to think Myrtle had something to do with the sudden illnesses. "No, I wouldn't think so. However, she is a creature of habit and very trusting. It's possible that our suspects knew of her connection to the 1-2 and insinuated themselves into a situation where they could use her to get to the NYPD."

Flack's face grew even paler than it had been when Mac had first entered the cubicle. "You think she might be in danger?"

"My heart wants to say no but my head says we can't overlook it. I'll get someone from the precinct to check on her; maybe even ask her if anyone's been hanging around." Mac promised, reaching for his phone.

Flack stopped him, remembering how upset she had been learning about the mistake with the X-Lax. He didn't want to add to her distress by her finding out about the wreck. "Send Brickman. He may be a pain in the ass but he'd never let anything happen to her or do anything to upset her. Ask him not to mention the wreck. I don't want Miss Myrtle thinking about Pam's wreck. I've hurt enough people lately; I don't want to do anything to further upset her."

Mac frowned. "What you do mean, you've hurt enough people? You can't blame yourself for the accident. It's thanks to your skills behind the wheel that you and Lindsay weren't hurt worse."

"You said yourself Saturday night that I'm probably the target. That makes everyone who had gotten hurt or sick my responsibility."

The nurse came in to wrap Flack's arm so Mac didn't respond at first. He couldn't believe that Flack was actually taking all the weight of the attacks on his own shoulders and he felt bad if he'd helped put that fear on the younger man. He waited until the nurse had wrapped Flack's arms with white gauze and updated Flack's tetanus shot and had left out again before speaking. "Do I need to get the doctor back in here to examine your head? Even if you are the target - and that's just a theory not a known fact - you are not responsible for any of the injuries. Saturday night, my concern was for your safety when I had you leave. I'm sorry if in my haste to protect you I gave you any indication that I blamed you."

"You didn't." Flack admitted with a deep sigh; his own emotions almost as fragile at the moment as Lindsay's had been at the scene and in the ambulance ride. It cut him straight to the heart that this accident had sent Lindsay spiraling right back down into that emotional quagmire that had plagued her after the attack. He knew she was strong enough to overcome it once again, especially with Danny's help, but it still bothered him that she was being forced there once again. "Mac, I appreciate what you are trying to do but can you go check on Lindsay for me? They won't tell me anything. I know her injuries were mild but emotionally she's all over the place. You saw how she was at the scene. The ride in to the hospital wasn't much better. They made Danny ride up front with the driver. She was already upset and being in that small space with the medic trying to check her over just sent her completely into a panic attack. Compared to some of her other panic attacks in the past, this one was pretty mild but I could see how much it scared the medic. I was strapped down to the backboard so I couldn't do too much but try to explain to the medic what was happening and why. Danny was trying to climb into the back to help break her out of the attack but the driver was yelling at him to stay in his seat; which as you can imagine, didn't sit too well with Danny who yelled back. All that yelling just further upset Lindsay so the medic gave her an injection of some sort of sedative to calm her down."

Mac looked worried at the mention of the panic attack. "She didn't pull her knife on the medics, did she?"

He couldn't help but recall the afternoon a month ago when Adam Ross had appeared in his office looking scared enough to wet his pants yet concerned at the same time. It had taken Mac about ten minutes of alternating between a concerned friend and an authoritative boss to get Adam to finally explain what had happened to upset him so much.

"_Lindsay and I were processing the evidence from the altercation from the jail." He paused for a moment as if trying to decide how to continue. The pause gave Mac time to recall the case he was referring to. A couple of prisoners being detained in one of the cities right outside of their jurisdiction had gotten into a fight in one of the holding cells. A couple of officers had interceded and ultimately one prisoner was dead with an officer hospitalized. Their lab had been asked to handle the evidence to avoid any hint of impropriety. Adam sighed. "You know what, maybe its better I don't say anything. Lindsay's been through too much as it is and I don't want to make things worse. But I'm worried about her as well, you know? I don't know…"_

_Mac listened to the younger man's rambling and grew more and more concerned. For Adam to be this upset, it must be pretty major. He guided Adam to the couch and directed him to sit. The younger man did so but his left leg continued to bounce almost out of control. It took every ounce of self control for Mac not to reach out and try to stop the leg's frenetic motion. "First of all, breathe. If something is wrong with Lindsay, I need to know about it. I get you are trying to protect her but you have to trust me to do what's right for her. What happened?" _

_Adam took the breath Mac had all but ordered him to take, then a second and a third as he found it really did help to steady his nerves. "Everything was fine. We were joking back and forth and all of a sudden Lindsay just got quiet - okay so not quiet more like completely silent like mid-sentence silent. I looked over to see what had her attention and she was completely white like not a drop of blood in her face white and she was staring at this nightstick she'd removed from an evidence envelope. I was afraid she was about to pass out or something so I went over and took it out of her hands in case she really did faint. I don't know what upset her so much but she looked absolutely terrified."_

_Mac closed her eyes. He knew exactly why the nightstick had upset her so much but he also knew that Adam probably had no idea the nightmare the baton brought back for the young woman. Only a select few - those who had an absolute need to know- knew how John Atwood had attempted to rape Lindsay using a similar nightstick. No matter the strides she'd made in her recovery, coming face to face with the object of your nightmares was bound to cause her to be afraid. "Where is she now?"_

_Adam shifted uncomfortably. "The thing is, she really freaked out when I took the nightstick. It was like she thought I was going to hurt her with it or something. She just ran out of the lab. I asked one of the other techs to secure the evidence and followed her. I know I should had called Danny but he's in the field with Jo and I thought I could handle it. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. I followed her into the locker room. She had her back to me and was just staring at her locker. I reached out to touch her shoulder." He paused as if unsure he should continue. "Mac, please don't get mad at Lindsay; it was my fault; I should have been more careful about how I approached her. It wasn't even like I was hurt or anything. She's been through enough and I don't think it'll happen again…"_

"_Adam…" Mac practically growled. He could tell Adam was upset but his beating around the bush was only worrying Mac more. "What happened?"_

_Adam took a deep breath looking like the world was about to end. "Before I knew what was happening she whirled around and pulled her buck knife from her pocket. I didn't know she could move that fast. I shouted her name and stepped backward out of her way. She flinched like I had hit her or something. She dropped the knife and ran crying into the bathroom. Please, Mac, I didn't even want to come to you but I'm worried about her and it would take too long for Danny to get here. Please don't punish her because I screwed up how to help her."_

_Mac sighed as he realized everyone probably blamed him for making Lindsay turn over her service revolver and having to work alongside another CSI like she was a rookie. Though he was pretty sure Lindsay and to a lesser extent Danny understood what he'd been forced to do, it still didn't make him enjoy his job as boss when it came to these situations. Not for the first time, he hoped there was a special horrible place in hell where Atwood was currently burning for all eternity for what he'd done to the young woman. "It's okay, Adam. It shouldn't be a problem unless you want to press the issue which I'm presuming you don't." He raised a questioning eyebrow until Adam shook his head, visibly relieved. "Okay then, get back to work and don't say anything about what happened to anyone. I'll check on Lindsay and tell Danny. Just do me a favor and make sure that nightstick is fully processed and put away before Lindsay returns to the lab." _

It had taken him the better part of an hour to coax her out of the bathroom and then to take the knife back. She'd been embarrassed by her reaction and probably more than a little frightened at the thought of what could have happened. Adam had been good to his word about not saying anything and as far as Mac knew only Adam, Lindsay, Danny and he knew about the incident. Still, he couldn't help but worry about a repeat experience.

"She didn't have her knife with her." Danny supplied as he entered the cubicle to stand beside Mac.

Don frowned. "She did have her knife. She used it to cut my seatbelt loose after the wreck. I saw her put it back in her pocket when I was free. I know how important that knife is to her. She didn't lose it while swimming to the surface, did she?" He looked ready to go dive back into the lake to look for it.

Danny shook his head and pulled the buck knife slightly out of his own pocket just enough for Mac and Flack to see it. "I retrieved it from her pocket when I first noticed she was close to a full blown panic attack. I don't think she was even aware when I did it other than to think I was trying to cop a feel of her ass. Something she's pretty use to anyway."

Both Mac and Don agreed that fell into the jurisdiction of too much information then Don looked at Danny worriedly. "How is she? The scene in the ambulance wasn't too pretty."

"She okay now." Danny looked tired and Mac couldn't help but be reminded to how Danny had looked in those first hours after Lindsay had been rescued. "The panic attack was pretty mild compared to some she's had in the past but was probably brought on by the slight concussion she suffered in the crash. Once we got in the cubicle, I convinced the doctors and nurses to give us a little time alone and I was able to talk her back around pretty quickly. She's more embarrassed by what happened than anything and wants to forget it even happened but she's basically back to her normal self."

"How bad was she injured?" Mac asked, respectfully not wanting to dwell on the panic attack.

Danny nodded. "She's going to be bruised all to hell and back but compared to her last trips to the hospital, not bad at all. They took her down for a CT of her head and ribs but that's more for a precaution than anything else. She says it because Flack "finked" on her - her words not mine - about her blacking out in the car immediately after the crash. Then I informed the doctor about her rib injuries and the doctor wanted to make sure everything was okay although he was reasonably sure everything was okay."

Before Flack could feel like it was his fault Danny gave him a long look. "You know she was grousing good naturedly. If she were really upset she would have used a much stronger word than 'finked;' you know that. How about you? How bad were you hurt? She was pretty groggy from the sedative but before they took her for the CT she all but ordered me to come check on you."

Flack assured his best friend that he was okay. The nurse came in to bring Flack's discharge papers and instructions. She looked at him critically. "The doctor didn't think you needed to be admitted but you don't need to be alone either. You could have injuries that the symptoms haven't manifested for yet and you should have someone with you just in case."

Flack was about to protest that he would be fine when Danny stepped in. "He's coming home with my wife and I once she's released." He waved off Flack's protests. "Not taking no for an answer, Buddy. You can take it easy and if you feel up to it later, you can help me plan my man cave."

Mac laughed. "Your what?"

"Lindsay and I are buying a house. It's a pretty nice size place and it even has a basement. Lindsay and I have talked about it and she says I can make it into my own space. My own man cave that I can escape to when I need to."

Flack shook his head. "No offense, Messer, but you aren't the man cave type."

Danny frowned, not sure how to take that statement. But before he could get mad, Flack explained. "Some guys need a place to go to when being a husband and father gets to be too much but you're not one of them. For someone who use to be such a self-proclaimed bachelor, you are in your element when Lindsay and Lucy are with you. I think it's a beautiful thing and I hope one day I can have just a fraction of what you have. I'll help you if you want me to but I have a feeling it'll end up being more of a place we'll all, Lindsay included, gather to watch a game or unwind after work or something."

After the nurse had given all the discharge information, Flack grouchily transferred from the bed to the wheelchair and allowed Mac to push him down the hall to the cubicle Lindsay had been assigned. It wasn't much longer before she was brought back to her room, dozing thanks to the effect of the sedative she'd been given. The doctor reported that the scans had not shown anything alarming and released her with the admonition that she take it easy the rest of the day.

Mac drove them all to Danny's and Lindsay's apartment, stopping only to fill the prescriptions that the doctor had written for both Don and Lindsay. After making sure both were settled in the apartment, Mac left to go back to the lab to find out what Adam and Sheldon had discovered about the car.

Lindsay, already drowsy from the sedative, dropped off to sleep cuddled against Danny on the couch. Danny and Flack talked quietly so as not to disturb her until Flack also gave into the exhaustion the emotionally draining day had caused in him. Danny contented himself with watching the TV turned down low until it was time to go pick up Lucy from preschool. He didn't have the heart to wake either of his two patients so he eased out from under Lindsay and quickly scrawled a note to where he was going. He left it propped on the coffee table so Lindsay would see it if she awoke and left the apartment quietly.

Lindsay awoke to the sound of someone almost shouting. Having suffered from her own demonic nightmares, she easily recognized the sound of someone locked into their own private hell and looked around to see Flack twisting in his sleep in the overstuffed chair next to the couch. She reached over and shook his arm, hoping to wake him from the dreams that were tormenting him. He jerked awake and looked around trying to regain his bearings. Lindsay waited until she was sure he was fully awake. "You okay?"

He nodded, rubbing his eyes. "You know how some cases just get to you more than others?" She nodded, all to familiar with what he was talking about. "The wreck this afternoon awakened mine. I didn't mention it earlier but I worked the wreck where Miss Myrtle's daughter died. It was pretty horrible. She and Tanner were both trapped and the car was going to blow. There was no way we could save both of them and Pam insisted that we save Tanner. Pam's injuries weren't life threatening but she was pinned behind the steering wheel and it would take time to get her free. Tanner's injuries were much worse; his right leg was trapped and obviously broken and his back was pretty busted up. I wasn't sure if he'd ever walk gain but Pam wouldn't let us attempt to get her out until Tanner was out and safe. Jenkins was working the scene with me and we'd just gotten Tanner free and away from the car when it exploded. I couldn't believe she was gone. Jenkins even burned his hands pretty badly trying to get back to her but it was too late. I felt guilty like we should have done more. Later, when I went to the hospital to check on Tanner, he railed on us that we had saved him instead of his mother. I couldn't blame him for being upset. For weeks or maybe even months afterward I'd have nightmares of seeing that car go up in flames thinking I should have done more. I should have done more to save Miss Myrtle's daughter; she should have had to say goodbye to another child but she never blamed me. Just thanked me for saving her grandson."

Lindsay wanted to say something to ease the pain she saw in his eyes. She knew exactly what it felt like to feel you hadn't done enough to save someone even when there'd been nothing else that could have been done. But hearing that it wasn't your fault from someone unconnected with the event didn't always help; it was just a pain you had to work through yourself. Before she could offer any words though, the front door opened and Danny stepped in to the apartment with Lucy. After the little girl greeted Reese's, she came running over to hug Lindsay and then Flack.

"Daddy said you have owwies. I get my kit and make you all better." She promised than disappeared to her bedroom. Flack looked at the direction she fled curiously.

"She's getting her what?"

Danny smirked. "Doc gave her this doctor's kit a few weeks ago and now she thinks she's a real doctor. I think she's treated all her stuffed animals for all kinds of injuries."

Now Flack felt a sense of trepidation. "She's not one of those shot wielding docs is she? Cause I got my shot already."

Lindsay chuckled. "Are you kidding me? The toy hypodermic went straight into the garbage. She told her animals that she wasn't going to give them any yucky shots. I think you are safe although if she wants to bandage you up run for cover. She went through an entire roll of toilet paper the other day using it as gauze before I realized her bears had all been in some sort of major accident and had required major treatment."

Lucy returned from the bedroom and made a great show of checking their owwies and taking care of them. Then she settled at the coffee table with her colors and a book to make them a feel better picture. Flack once more dozed off as Danny retreated to the kitchen to put together something for supper.

Feeling a little restless and sore from being battered about the car despite the seatbelt, Lindsay decided to check her email. She sat down at the computer and pulled up her inbox. She smiled when she saw she had received an email from Stella. She opened it and saw that instead of message, Stella had sent her a picture. Once it loaded, she couldn't stop the shriek that erupted from her lips. In a split second, both Danny and Flack were surrounding her to see what was wrong. Unable to speak, she could only point at the picture.

It was a picture of a female's hand, presumably Stella's left hand. Twinkling in the light of the flash on her ring finger was a beautiful pear shaped diamond ring.

- CSI: NY -

Author's notes: So, when I had the original idea for this story, it was all suppose to revolve around what was revealed at the end of this chapter. Then the idea of the mystery came up and added itself to the story. I hope you like this little twist. Reviews are always appreciated.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Notes: This chapter has some fluffy moments before getting back to the case. I hope you enjoy. Reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 13<p>

"Is it like that every time those two talk on the phone?" Don Flack asked his best friend as yet another squeal rose up from the bedroom. He looked down at Lucy, who had climbed into his lap about thirty minutes earlier as they had settled in front of the television to watch a baseball game. She was definitely her father's daughter and loved to watch the action of a good baseball game just as much as she enjoyed her Disney movies. Tonight she was taking advantage of her pseudo-uncle's presence, insisting on sitting in his lap as they watched the game. Now her eyes were getting heavy and he wouldn't be surprised if she dropped off to sleep any minute. He shifted her just slightly so that her elbow wasn't digging into his sore side anymore. Though he could have done without the sore muscles and the headache that had crept up on him as the afternoon progressed, he was glad he'd taken Danny up on his offer to stay the night with them. There was just something so blessedly normal about spending time with the small family that diminished all those negative emotions that had been plaguing him the last few days. Besides, if he hadn't been there when Lindsay had opened her email, he wouldn't have found about Stella's engagement until the next day.

It had taken every bit of Lindsay's self control to wait until after they had eaten supper to call Stella and ask about the proposal. So far she'd been on the phone for the last hour and every now and then her excited chatter carried from the bedroom to the living room as if she were right there beside them.

Danny grinned and passed a bowl of chips and salsa over to him since his arms were full holding Lucy. "Pretty much, though I think the idea of the engagement has made it worse than usual. It's weird, I've listened sometimes and they reach this decibel that I don't think humans are suppose to be able to hear. Or at the very least I don't think men can hear it. I'm not going to complain though, today was pretty rough on Linds emotionally as well as physically. Talking to Stella will help her wind down and relax. Besides, she's been hoping to get word of an engagement since we came back from New Orleans. In her mind, it's about damn time."

"The two of you got to meet this Brady character, right? He good enough for our girl?" He recognized that his tone was a little harsh but he couldn't help it. Seeing Stella in that hospital room five years ago after Frankie had beaten her unconscious was forever grained in his memory and he wouldn't apologize for feeling protective toward her.

"Brady's a good guy." Danny concurred. "More importantly, he loves her. You could see it every time he looked at her. You don't have to worry about her; she's in good hands with him. Lucy's not hurting you is she? I know how she gets when she doses off like that, she burrows in and those elbows can be bony as hell. Not that I'd ever complain but you gotta be sore from the wreck."

"She's fine." Flack waved off his concern. The truth was sometimes he was more than a little envious of Danny's life. It wasn't that he had any romantic interest in Lindsay; she was too much like a sister for that; but it was obvious that marriage and fatherhood looked good on Danny. He'd meant what he'd told Danny earlier about the idea of a man cave in the new house. For all the trials and tribulations the couple had experienced in their couple of years of marriage, it hadn't changed how easy they made marriage look. And Lucy was a little bit of heaven right on Earth. It sometimes caused a pang in Flack's heart to think a bullet had not only stolen Jess from him but had possibly cost him the best chance he would ever have for the kind of happiness he saw in Danny. Moments like this, time spent with his friends, having Lucy snuggled up to him and feeling safe and secure enough to fall asleep in his arms helped ease the pain just a little.

Danny didn't look convinced but didn't argue. The sounds of laughter from the bedroom diminished and he figured they had stopped talking about the engagement and Lindsay was now filling Stella in on the recent events. That was sure to sober up the conversation quick and he wondered if Lindsay would be able to talk Stella out of catching the first available plane out to New York. It wouldn't surprise him if Lindsay had tried to not tell Stella about the wreck but Stella was too trained a CSI to overlook the obvious evidence that something was amiss. Since Lindsay's cell phone was still in its watery grave, she'd had to use Danny's to make the call. Stella would have picked up on the different phone number right away and would have questioned it as soon as she got a chance to steer the conversation away from the engagement. "I'm glad we have unlimited long distance on the cell phones. I'm definitely going to have to put that thing on charge once she's through."

Reese's came padding into the living room, her tail wagging. She rested her head on Danny's knee and looked up at him balefully. Danny sighed. "I swear the best thing about getting the house is going to be not having to take you for a walk all the time. I'll be able to just open the back door and let you have at it. Better yet, I can install a doggie door and you can come and go as you please."

Don chuckled; he knew his friend loved that dog just as much as Lucy did, even if it did include taking her for walks. "If you put in a doggie door, make sure you get one of those electronic ones that will only allow Reese's to enter if she's wearing a special dog collar. You can't take too many chances these days."

It amused Danny that Don even knew about such things as electronic doggie doors but he didn't say so out loud. "Want me to put Lucy to bed before I take the dog out?"

Flack shook his head. "Go ahead and take your walk. I'll put her to bed for you. It's been awhile since I've gotten to tuck her in at night. If I sit here much longer I'm going to fall asleep again and as comfortable as this chair is, I don't think my sore muscles could handled another nap in it. I think I'm ready for a pain pill and a comfortable bed."

Danny rose and grabbed the dog's leash to clip it to Reese's collar. "A hot shower would probably help. The sweats you borrowed while Linds washed your clothes the other night after the car bombing are folded up in the laundry room. There's some clean towels on the washer as well."

Don thanked his friend and gingerly rose in order to put Lucy in her bed. The two year old didn't stir as he lowered her on to her princess bed and covered her with the little blanket. For a moment after he rose he just stared at her, watching her sleep. He wished he knew who was responsible for the attacks against them so they could stop them before they actually succeeded in seriously hurting or killing someone. So far they had been very lucky but what about the next time? If they didn't stop them soon, would someone have to explain to this sweet innocent little girl why one of her parents or pseudo uncles or aunts wouldn't be in her life anymore? Flack didn't want to find out.

He turned and left the little girl's bedroom, intent on taking a pain pill and getting a shower. He might be battered and bruised but he was determined not to let the accident keep him from working tomorrow. He owed it to Lucy to do whatever it took to bring the people targeting them to justice.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Forty-five minutes later Danny let himself back into the apartment. He unclipped Reese's leash and hung it on it's hook by the door. The dog ambled off to her bed in the kitchen, accustomed to the normal nightly routine. Danny secured the baby gate although he was sure that the lab mix could easily jump the barrier if she had a mind to. He saw his cell phone sitting on the counter top, plugged in to charge so he knew Lindsay had finished her conversation with Stella. The chips and salsa he and Flack had been eating earlier had been cleared away and he figured that Lindsay too was ready for bed.

He was ready to join her but first he went through his nightly rituals. He doubled checked the locks on the door and that the dog had food and water available. Then he peeked in on Lucy and saw that she was sleeping soundly. Next he paused outside the guest room and listened in. He couldn't hear Flack moving around and decided he'd finished his shower quickly and gone straight to bed. He wasn't surprised; the wreck had to have taken its toll on both Flack and Lindsay. They'd been lucky to escape with as little injuries as they had but it had still been a bad wreck. Airbags and seatbelts can save lives but they could also bring their own set of pains at the same time.

Now, he did enter the bedroom. Lindsay was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only her bra and panties. She was clutching the pants she'd been wearing earlier in her hands and quiet tears were running down her cheeks. It scared him and he quickly went to her. Sitting beside her, he pulled her gently to his chest, running his hands up and down her arms hoping to comfort her from whatever had upset her.

"Linds, what's wrong, Babe? Are you hurting worse? Do we need to go back to the emergency room? I can get Flack to stay with Lucy."

She shook her head, not wanting to worry him but not able to voice what was wrong either. After a few minutes of crying into his shirt, she was able to speak. "I'm sorry. It's stupid."

"Un huh. It's not stupid if something is bothering you this much. I can't help make it better if you don't tell me what's upset you though. Whatever it is; I'll make it right if I can. I promise you."

"I lost my knife, the one my dad gave me for my ninth birthday. I had it after the wreck, before Flack and I got out of the car; I had to use it to free Flack from his seatbelt. I thought I put it back in my pocket but either I didn't or it fell out when I was escaping from the car. I guess it's at the bottom of Meadow Lake now. I know I shouldn't be this upset about it; its just an object and its not as important as my life. I'm grateful that I survived the wreck and wasn't hurt any worse than I was but it was a gift from my dad and it's important to me." She buried her head in his chest and let the tears flow again.

Danny held her tighter, mad at himself for not returning her buck knife to her before now. The truth was he'd forgotten all about it. Keeping one arm tight against her body, he reached back to his own pants pocket with the other, freeing the knife from the material of his jeans. He held it out for her to see. "You didn't lose it, Babe. I have it."

Lindsay sniffled and touched it lightly before looking up at him, unspoken questions and fear suddenly appearing in her eyes. Most of the time she had no conscious memory of what happened during one of her panic attacks and today was no exception. "Please tell me I didn't pull it on someone. Dammit, Danny, I thought I was getting better. This won't be like the time at the lab. Adam and Mac were willing to keep quiet about what I did to protect me but strangers can't be expected to do the same thing. Sinclair is going to find out and no matter how much he might not want to ground me again he won't have a choice."

"Relax, Babe. Take some breaths. You didn't pull it on anyone. I slipped it out of your pocket after they released you from the backboard. I could tell you were on the verge of a panic attack and I figured it was better if I held on to it for you. Besides you know the hospital would have given you a hard time about it once in the ER. I should have returned it to you when we first got home but I forgot about it. I'm sorry you got scared about it."

"You slipped it out of my pocket? Wait a minute, while you were getting frisky playing with my butt you were really picking my pocket? Jerk." Though her tone was still teary there was no anger or malice in her words. He grinned down at her.

"Yeah, and if you hadn't been so upset at the time I'd be more than a little worried that I was able to do so without your knowledge. What if I had been some random pickpocket?"

"I would have knocked a random pickpocket flat before he got that close to my butt. Here I was thinking you were so glad I was alive that you couldn't keep your hands to yourself and you were more interested in my buck knife than my rear end. I'm hurt."

He lowered his head to press his lips against hers as he let the knife drop to the floor. With one hand, he deftly unfastened her bra while caressing her breast through the material with the other. All afternoon, every since he'd heard her scream on the phone, he had needed this moment to hold her, feel that she was really okay, that once again he'd been fortunate enough that he could still hold her and feel her body tremble as it responded to his touch. Those moments in the ER earlier when he had convinced them to give him time alone with her to calm her down from the panic attack had been for him just as much as it had been for her but he'd been limited in just what he'd been able to do since the doctors and nurses could interrupt at any time.

He pushed the material of her bra away so he could tease the nipple of her breast. Then the hand at her back crept lower so that he could slide it inside her panties to cup one of her butt cheeks. His voice was barely a husky whisper. "Trust me, Lindsay, I'm way more interested in your ass than your buck knife and it takes every ounce of self control every time I'm around you to keep my hands to myself. You are so perfect; you fit my hands so perfectly. I want to show you just how perfect you are but I don't want to hurt you either."

He blazed a trail of feather light kisses down her right shoulder which was already turning black and blue from the bruises caused by the seatbelt biting into her skin to keep her from flying around the vehicle as it did its somersaults into the lake. She moaned lightly but it was a moan of desire not pain. His heartbeat quickened and he could feel himself harden at the knowledge of how his touches and kisses were turning her on.

Lindsay fisted his shirt and pushed it up, breaking his kiss and contact with her skin only long enough to divest him of the garment. Then she kissed him again. The kiss continued, their tongues dueling with each other, until they were forced by a need for air to break apart. She looked him in the eye, want clearly shining in the pools of brown. "Danny, make love to me."

Without a word he stood, pulling her up with him. He lifted her in his arms and carried her around the side of the bed before lowing her gently down. He eased down on the bed beside her careful not to put any weight on her. He kissed her again, his hands roaming over her body. He was trying to be mindful of her bruises loathe to cause her even a second more pain than she absolutely had to bear. Her hands slipped down to the waistband of his jeans, tugging at the material to unsnap and unzip the fly. She pushed the material down over his hips, letting her hands cup his butt much the way he had touched hers moments earlier. Then her hands came around to caress his bulging manhood through his boxers and this time he shuddered, his body responding to her touch.

He so wanted to lower his body on top of hers and make mad passionate love to her; his body wanting hers as much as she wanted him. But the one little corner of his mind that was still in control cautioned him that it was a bad idea. She had a concussion and though she'd managed not to break any bones in the crash, her bruises weren't something that should be ignored. He broke off the kiss and pulled back but it took everything within him to do so. He was breathing heavily.

"Lindsay, we shouldn't do this; not tonight. I don't want to hurt you and if we continue this I'm afraid I will. You might not feel it right away but by morning you would. I want to hold you- no, I need to hold you. Feel you against my body and know that you are still right here and once again, thank God, you are still in my life. But even though I want to do so much more to you and with you, we both know we shouldn't go any further."

She let her hand glide upward to the waistband of his boxers and then disappear inside them so that her fingers came into direct contact with his arousal. He sucked in his breath as her touch was like a wonderful jolt of electricity shooting through his entire body. He closed his eyes momentarily as the sensation almost sent him completely over the edge of desire. She knew exactly what she was doing as her hand closed around him stroking him gently.

"Linds, that ain't fair. I'm trying to be good here cause I don't want you to hurt any more than you have to but you know I can't think of anything but how much I love you and want you when you do that."

"So don't think, just let your body respond the way it so obviously wants to." She urged as she lifted off the bed to kiss him. The movement caused her muscles to protest in pain and she winced before she could school her features not to react. She hoped that he was so caught up in the pleasure she was causing him to notice. His hands encircled her wrists, still her emotions and she knew he'd noticed her discomfort.

"Linds, I told you I don't want to hurt you and its obvious you are hurting." His tone pleaded with her but even he wasn't sure what he was pleading for. "I don't like hurting you."

"You didn't hurt me. I hurt myself by moving the wrong way. It was just a twinge; nothing serious. Unfortunately I've had much worse and I survived that as well. Trust me to know what my body can handle. Don't make this bigger than it really is."

Danny leaned over her, releasing his hold on her wrists lest she felt trapped. Instead he used his hands to brace himself against the bed so that his body was just above hers. He kissed her once again. When he broke the kiss he rested his forehead on hers, the only part of his body touching hers. "You know I can't hardly say no to you."

"I know." Lindsay murmured just before his lips captured hers once more.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

After both were completely sated from their lovemaking, Danny tucked Lindsay in close to his body. His hands were still lazily roaming over her body; not content to completely release her yet. Lindsay sighed contentedly, brushing kisses against his bare chest as her own hands made similar explorations of his body.

"So is Stella over the moon happy about the engagement?" Danny asked, realizing he'd gotten so caught up in other pursuits that he hadn't asked about her conversation with their friend and former co-worker.

"That's putting it lightly. She said she stayed up all night just looking at the ring; afraid that if she went to sleep she'd wake up and find out it had all been a dream. Listening to her though, I'm not sure who's more excited, her or Brady."

"Did he take her to Olivier's?" The comment was almost off handed but Lindsay pushed herself up to rest on her elbow and gave him a hard look.

"How did you know that? Daniel Anthony Messer, did you know Brady was planning to propose?"

Danny wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to him, kissing her warmly before answering her. "Babe, we knew months ago when we visited them in New Orleans that it was only a matter of time before he proposed. But yeah, Brady called me last week and he told me what he had in mind."

"And you didn't tell me? What did you think I could quiet it quiet? Danny?"

He chuckled. "Wasn't my secret to tell. Besides wasn't it better hearing about the engagement the way you did. After everything that happened today, didn't it all seem to fade just a little when you opened that email?"

Lindsay pouted just a little. "I hate it when you are right."

Chuckling, Danny kissed her once again. "Good thing it doesn't happen very often. Besides, I didn't know exactly when he was going to do it. The whole reason Brady called me is because he wanted to make sure this time of year didn't have any bad associations for Stella. He didn't want to pop the question and have Stella turn him down simply because the date reminded her of either Frankie or Drew. So, any idea when we'll have to make plans to head back down to New Orleans for the wedding. I hope crime here in New York will behave; you know we'll all want to be there."

"We aren't going to New Orleans." Lindsay bit back the grin at Danny's puzzled expression. "You are right, we'd all want to be there but you know crime isn't going to stop. Stella doesn't want Mac to have to choose who to grant vacation time to and who has to stay behind. So, Brady and Stella have decided to get married here in New York. They haven't settled on a date yet but it'll be pretty soon. She said she spent a good portion of the day on the internet searching for possible wedding venues. I'm so happy for them."

His hand idly caressed her skin and he refused to look her in the eye. "Do you ever regret that you didn't get to search for the perfect place to get married?"

She took his wandering hand in her own and brought it to her lips. "Dan, I don't regret anything about our wedding because no matter where we were, who officiated the service, or who witnessed it the end result would still be the same. It doesn't matter if we got married in the city clerk's office or some sort of grand wedding chapel, the end result was the same. I got you and this life I get to live where I get to fall asleep in your arms with our daughter sleeping down the hall. I love being married to you and I wouldn't change a thing about our life together - well, maybe what happened four months ago, but nothing else. I love you Danny Messer and I love being Mrs. Danny Messer."

Danny's eyes were bright and a little misty. "I love you too. I never thought I was the settling down type but that was just because I had never met the person who made me want to settle down. Still, sometimes I feel like I cheated you out of the wedding you deserve, the wedding you used to dream about with your friends when you were younger."

Lindsay kissed him tenderly and then snuggled back down into his embrace. "I wasn't cheated out of anything Danny. How could I have been when I have your love?"

Danny was about to say something more when the phone rang, effectively stopping all prevous discussions. Danny scooped up the receiver before it woke Lucy and Flack. "Hello? Hey Mac, no they're doing fine, pretty sore but okay all things considering."

As Danny talked to their boss and friend, Lindsay traced heart outlines on Danny's bare chest. From the frown on his face, she had a feeling the call wasn't just a courtesy call to check on how she and Flack were doing. He sighed.

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can….No, it's fine, I understand; I see you there." He hung up the phone and sat up in the bed, kissing her once more. "Sorry babe, I'm being called in to work."

He slipped out of bed and reached for his boxers and jeans. Lindsay sat up, holding the sheet around her naked body. She could tell by his body language there was something he wasn't saying. "What's wrong?"

Danny ran his hands through his short brown hair before reaching for his shirt. "The Malibu struck again. This time it opened fire right outside of the 1-2. We weren't as lucky this time. Five officers were shot. Mac says three were rushed to the hospital in serious condition but the other two were pronounced dead at the scene."


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: I hope you like this chapter. Parts were a little difficult to get on paper so I hope it came across well. I always enjoy seeing what you think.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew  
>Chapter 14<p>

After Danny's announcement, Lindsay stared at him for a couple of long seconds processing what he had said. Then without hesitation, she threw off the sheet as well and swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up. Danny shook his head. "Babe, what are you doing?"

"A scene like that needs to be all hands on deck. If you'll let Flack know to keep an ear out for Lucy, I'll be dressed and …"

"Not happening, Babe. You were in a wreck this afternoon, remember? The doctor told you to take it easy and I'm pretty sure that means not rushing off to crime scenes at midnight."

Lindsay rolled her eyes, still reaching for her pants and shirt. "Danny, I'm okay; I think I proved that to you earlier in that bed. I can help…"

Again Danny shook his head, effectively cutting her off once more, he took the clothes away from her leaving her standing there naked, tossing the garments onto the foot of the bed. Her body was shaking slightly but he was sure it wasn't from cold but from pain and exhaustion, a combination of her injuries, their lovemaking, and the sedatives she'd been given in the hospital earlier. He could have pointed out the fact that she could barely stand there in front of him but knew she'd push aside her own limitations for the sake of the job. Instead, he had to go for the only protests that would stand even a remote chance of getting through to her. "Mac said no. He knows you pretty well and figured you would want to come in with me and just before I hung up he said you were absolutely forbidden to come in tonight. He said if you were feeling okay in the morning you could still come to the lab at your normal time but not before. Besides, Flack was going to take one of his pain pills earlier before he went to bed; I've seen him knocked out on painkillers before and let's just say it would be more likely Lucy would be babysitting him than the other way around. I love you Linds but I gotta get going. Please promise me you'll stay here and get some rest. I can do my job much better if I'm not worried about you at the same time." Just in case his words had some sting to her sometimes still fragile self esteem, he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her close for a hug and kiss.

She knew he and Mac were both correct but it didn't make her feel any less useless at the moment. She wanted to melt against him and take the comfort his arms were offering to soften the blow that once again her injuries were preventing her from doing the job she loved. She also knew that Danny understood her frustration more than anybody since he'd felt that same sense of uselessness after his shooting when she'd be the one called into the lab in the middle of the night while he had to lay in bed. Those nights she had to move everything Lucy might need if she awoke while Lindsay was gone to within Danny's reach, since Danny couldn't even get out of bed by himself at that point. But now she couldn't wallow in her own misery; Mac would be waiting for Danny's arrival and it wasn't fair to delay him and make him worry even more. She tilted her head upward and kissed him. "I promise. You promise me to be very careful. These guys obviously are amping up their game and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Promise. Now, back in that bed and get some sleep. Since you don't want to take the pain meds the doctor gave you, rest is the next best thing for your injuries." He held the covers back and waited until she obediently eased back into the bed. He covered her body, wishing he could climb in beside her instead of rushing off to work a crime scene; especially a crime scene he knew involved deaths of some of their own. He caressed her check tenderly. "I love you, Babe." One more kiss and he was gone, turning off the lights as he did.

As much as she had protested about wanting to go with him, a drowsy humor settled over her body as soon as the lights were out. Her body was worn out; a fact that Danny had probably recognized even as he was arguing against her going to the scene. But though her body suddenly felt ten times heavier now that the room was dark and she was lying still in the bed, sleep refused to come. Though the news of Stella's engagement followed by Danny's skillful exploration of her body had effectively distracted her from the worry of the case at hand, the news that two of their own had been killed pushed them straight back into the forefront of her mind. She couldn't help but run the facts of the case through her mind. Maybe if she concentrated on the case instead of fighting it, sleep would come more easily.

The first two attacks had happened at the same location - 43rd street. Flack had planned on investigating the location on Sunday but the visit from Miss Myrtle had interrupted that. Perhaps when she went in to the lab in the morning she could check on that. Were the doctored donuts even apart of the attacks or just some sort of coincidence? Coincidences happened; they had all seen cases where there was no other explanation, but that was only after all other explanations had been exhausted. For the time being, especially after seeing the car as they left Myrtles and the subsequent wreck, it was better to believe the donuts were connected. So the donuts and the shooting tonight happened at the precinct. She wondered if Adam and Sheldon had discovered anything about Flack's car and why the brakes had suddenly gone out. If the brake line had been cut, then this was the first day two attacks had occurred in the same day. Who was the intended target? Flack was present for the shooting and car bombing on 43rd street and the wreck today. He was mildly affected by the donuts but he wasn't supposed to be on the day the donuts were delivered. Plus after the wreck today, their attackers had to have known Flack wouldn't be present for the shooting at the station. And what purpose could anyone have for dragging such a sweet and trusting elderly lady as Myrtle Godwin into all of this mess? It was all so confusing and she didn't see how they were going to get anywhere. And what about the John Doe in the morgue? How did he figure in to all of this? She realized now that she'd never gotten the opportunity to check for a response from the hospitals about her inquiry about former patients with the injuries Sid had discovered in their DB. What were those injuries again? Extensive injuries to the back and right leg? Something about those injuries were raising flags in her mind but her exhausted body couldn't quite fathom what it was as sleep finally washed over her.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

_Lindsay stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked down the hall to the morgue. No one was around which seemed unusual for the place no matter what time of the day it was. As she approached one of the autopsy tables, she saw the body of their John Doe lying there, a small towel draped across his groin area in an attempt to preserve his dignity even in death. She stared down at his body a frown on her face. _

"_Who are you?" She asked the dead body, not expecting an answer. _

_The corpse's body suddenly opened his eyes looking straight at her. His hand reached up grabbing tightly a hold of Lindsay's right wrist. She wanted to scream but no sound would escape her mouth. She tried to tug her hand free but his grasp only got tighter, cutting off the circulation to her hand._

"_My fault. All my fault." His lips didn't move but it was obvious to her that the words were his. _

_His grip on her wrist was painful but she quit trying to break free. Instead, she stood there as if it made all the sense in the word to have a conversation with a dead body. She stared into his eyes and couldn't help but feel like she'd seen those eyes somewhere very recently. "What's your fault? The attacks that are happening against the NYPD?"_

"_Should have died, shouldn't have died. Didn't mean for any of it to happen. Shouldn't have been born."_

_How well she understood that kind of guilt. How many times in the months after her friends died had she railed against God and anyone else who seemed to be a good target that she should have died with them or it would have been better if she'd never been born? Survivor's guilt they called it. They could name it and they could try to treat it but there was no way to really cure it. Or at least she'd never fully gotten over hers even if she could now recognize it as an illogical reaction to what happened. Where did his survivor's guilt stem from? Did it have anything to do with what was happening now?_

"_Who are you?" She asked again, this time hoping for the answer. All feeling had left her wrist and looking down she saw that it had gotten chalky white in his vice-like grip. _

"_Tanner? No, no, I can't lose you too." Suddenly Myrtle Godwin was standing beside her staring down at the body of the teenage boy. "Why? Haven't I lost enough? First Barbara, then my dear Henry, then Pammie and now my sweet, sweet Tanner." Myrtle looked up at Lindsay, her face contorted in pain. "Can't you put a stop to this before more of my boys at the station have to die?"_

_The elderly woman clutched at her heart - because it was breaking or because of a heart condition? Afraid Myrtle was going to collapse from the weight of yet another loss, Lindsay tried to grab hold of her, to steady her. Her wrist was still caught in the grip of the corpse's hand. She once again tugged violently against the hold, her heart thumping wildly with panic as Myrtle sank to her knees in pain and despair. _

"_Let go of me!" She screamed at the corpse but instead of releasing her he tightened his grip even more. "I can't help her if you don't release me. Please let me help her."_

"_Lindsay?" She turned at the familiar voice, glad to see Sid Hammerback enter the lab, his expression grim._

"_Sid, please help her. I think she may be having a heart attack. I can't get free. I'm helpless." Helpless, wasn't she always helpless when it came to being there for those she cared about? _

"_Lindsay, I'm so sorry." Now she realized his expression wasn't just grim but held extreme shock and despair. An expression she hadn't seen since that night at the bar when Danny had been shot and almost died. She quit struggling and stared at him._

"_Sid, what are you sorry about? What's wrong?" Was he saying it was too late to do anything for Myrtle? She looked down but the elderly woman was no longer there. Where had she gone?" "Sid?"_

"_Danny… Danny's … It all happened so quick. We were all working the scene when they came back. None of us saw it coming until it was too late. It's a wonder more weren't hurt or killed. Danny wasn't so lucky."_

_She shook her head. He couldn't be saying what it sounded like he was saying. Danny promised to be careful; he would wear his vest and he would be fine. She took a step away from both Sid and the corpse but the grip on her wrist only got tighter. "No, no, no…"_

"_Lindsay, Danny's dead." Sid didn't step closer to her as if afraid of spooking her._

"_My fault.. All my fault…" The corpse muttered pitifully. _

_The scream welled up in her from the deepest region of her gut, spilling forth as everything swirled around her, pulling her down toward darkness._

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Lindsay? Lindsay, wake up, Sweetheart. It's okay. It's only a dream."

Lindsay's eyes shot open and she sat up in bed frantically looking around. Her mind was still trapped in that nightmarish world it had been in since falling asleep and oblivious to the memory that when Danny had put her back to bed before leaving for the crime scene, she'd still been completely naked from their earlier lovemaking. The only thing she was aware of outside of the dream images was that both her wrists were firmly encased in somebody else's. Trapped in a nightmare of another kind she struggled against the hold before whoever was holding her could hurt her. Almost immediately they released her but strong arms wrapped around her pulling her into a comforting embrace as her sobs started. Her brain wasn't coherent enough to supply the identity of who was holding her except for the certainty that it wasn't her husband but someone trustworthy. She just leaned against whoever it was as the sobs wracked her body and her mind tried to process the images that had haunted her.

"It's okay Lindsay. Shhh, it's okay. You are safe. Everything is okay." Don Flack didn't know what else he could do but to hold her close until she was more aware of her surroundings. He had awoken several minutes earlier when a strangled scream floated through the connected wall between his best friends' bedroom and the guest bedroom he was staying in. At first his drug-addled mind left him confused about where he was and what was happening but once he did, he figured Danny would ease Lindsay out of whatever nightmare she was having. When it didn't sound like the dream was ending but getting worse, he'd stumbled out of bed and toward their own turning on the light as he entered the bedroom. He wasn't sure where Danny was but as his best friend, Don knew he had to step in and help where he could.

He'd never had to witness one of her nightmares since the attack but he'd heard Danny describe before just how bad they could be. He knew as painful as it was to watch, there was very little he could do but offer her calm reassurances until she was once more aware of where she was. Had it just been yesterday that she had comforted him after his own nightmare? He was trying to ignore the fact that the sheet that had covered her had slipped down when she sat up, completely exposing her bare body to him. His mind screamed that it was completely inappropriate for him to be sitting there holding the naked body of his best friend's wife but his heart insisting he could do nothing else. As a compromise between the two, he glanced around trying to figure out a way to cover her up before she was aware enough to realize her state of undress. There was no sense in both of them being embarrassed by the situation that as far as he was concerned out of either of their control. He'd noticed her shirt on the foot of the bed when he came in and now he reached behind him to feel for it. Once he had it in his hand, he eased one of her arms into it and then the other before buttoning a couple of the buttons with one hand while still holding her close with the other.

After what might have been five or ten minutes, she finally pulled back. She looked at him puzzled by his presence. "What happened?"

He offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "A hell of a nightmare by the sound of it. You okay now? Where's Danny?"

Her face paled even more than it already was. Flack was worried she was about to pass out but instead, she looked around frantically, reaching for the phone. "Oh my god, he was working the scene at the precinct but the suspects came back. Sid said he was dead…" She punched in the numbers on the hand held receiver as Flack stared at her puzzled, unsure of anything she had just said, how much of that was dream and how much was reality? Her skin was ice cold against his body and that worried him. He wondered if all her nightmares left her this discombobulated and couldn't help but question how Lindsay or even Danny coped with them.

"Danny? Thank God, you are alive; it was just part of the dream. I was so afraid that maybe they really had come back and shot again. Please promise me you are being very careful…" As her rambling came to a close, she listened to Danny's reply, subconsciously rubbing her right wrist as if it were hurting. Her rapid breathing was slowly evening out as she listened to the reassuring tone of her husband's voice. When she spoke again, her voice already sounded calmer, less frantic. "He's sitting right here." She handed the phone to Flack. He put it to his ear and said hello.

"_Sounds like it was a bad one. She okay?"_

"Getting there at least but yeah I think it was a real doozey." He watched her with curiosity as she struggled to reign in the rest of her erratic emotions. She was taking deep breaths in through her nose and then slowly exhaling through her mouth. He had a feeling it was a calming technique she'd learned in one of her counseling sessions. He wondered about the way she was rubbing her wrist; had she hurt it in the crash earlier and the doctors missed the injury?

"_I'm going to be tied up here for several more hours, it's pretty brutal. I hate like anything not being there if she needs me…"_

"I got it handled. Don't worr…yeah, forget that; I know that's like asking you not to breathe. She'll be fine. If I'm wrong, I'll call you back. You want to talk to her again?"

The answer must have been yes because Flack handed the phone back to her. Whatever else Danny said to her worked better than her breathing exercise because a moment later a shaky smile crossed her features. A couple of I love you later she hung up the phone and leaned back against the headboard looking at Flack. "I'm sorry I woke you. Danny said earlier that you were hurting and were going to take a pain pill."

Flack shook his head. "Don't worry about it, the drugs must have worn off otherwise nothing would have woken me up. I'm glad they had; I'd hate for you to go through that alone. You okay now?"

Her heart was still hammering against her chest and it was as if she could still feel the steel grip the corpse had on her wrist. She glanced down at it, almost expecting to see a ring of bruising forming around the skin. There was no ring of bruises but it did look swollen and red. It had been just a dream hadn't it? "I will be. You can go on back to bed; I think I'm going to take a quick shower; that sometimes helps to get rid of the remaining ghosts."

"My mom used to make Sam and me a mug of hot chocolate- the good kind made with milk instead of water - after we had really bad dreams. I don't know what it was about it but after we finished drinking it, everything always seemed okay again. How about I make us some while you get that shower?"

Lindsay nodded; glad that he wasn't pressuring her to talk about her dream. She knew she needed to; perhaps her subconscious was actually tying to tell her something important with it but she needed to internally process it before she tried to voice it out loud. She leaned forward and hugged him again. "I'm glad that if Danny couldn't be here to help me through this, that you were."

Don smiled and gave her cheek a quick caress. "Me too. I'll go get that hot chocolate started."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

By the time she emerged from the bathroom wearing lounge pants and one of Danny's sweatshirts, the oversized sleeves pushed upward around her elbows, Flack was putting a little bit of whipped cream on top of two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. He met her at the couch and waited until she was settled on the couch before handing her one of the mugs. Then he sat in the chair next to the couch, wanting to be close if she needed him but without invading her personal space.

"Must be some major call for Danny to agree to leave you tonight. I know how worried he was after the wreck."

Lindsay took a tentative sip from her mug, testing how hot it was before answering. It also gave her a moment to figure out how to break the news to the handsome detective that some of his colleagues had died earlier. Had he not been in the wreck with her, he probably would have been called in as well.

"Mac called earlier. Our Malibu suspects struck again. This time they fired shots outside the 1-2."

Flack set his mug on the coffee table and looked at her. He could see how news like that could have sparked Lindsay's nightmare. He prayed that the news wasn't any worse than that. "Anybody hurt?" Again he prayed the answer was no but he knew if it were, Danny probably wouldn't have been called in.

Lindsay nodded sadly. "Three officers were rushed to the hospital in serious condition…"

"And?" Flack persisted knowing with a certainty that came from years of being a cop that the news was going to get worse.

"Two were pronounced dead at the scene. I'm sorry, Don."

He nodded before hanging his head. They had been fortunate so far in all the attempts that nobody had been killed; he'd hoped that they would be able to apprehend the suspects before one of the attacks succeeded in taking a life. That hope was now futile. "Do you know who?"

Lindsay shook her head and placed her own mug next to Flack's before reaching out and touching his knee comfortingly. "If Mac told Danny, he didn't tell me."

Tears of his own filled Flack's eyes. "Two brothers or sisters are dead and I bet we still are no closer to catching the bastards responsible. I feel guilty, Linds, Yesterday I was going to spend the day researching old cases to try to figure out a link but instead I let other things distract me. Today, they were right in front of us and I let them get away."

Lindsay sighed. "Blame like that won't do anything but eat away at you, Don. Trust me I know. Yesterday, you put aside your plan to investigate the old cases to help an elderly woman out who has no one but the guys at the 1-2 and then you got sick from the laxative in the donuts. Cut yourself some slack on that one, it wasn't like you were goofing off. Today, in case you forgot, the brakes in your car went out while you were chasing those suspects and if you'd been any less than the helluva driver you are, you and I wouldn't be sitting here having this discussion because we would be occupying a couple of Sid's autopsy tables right now." The mention of autopsy sent a hard shudder to run down her spine. Their John Doe had been blaming himself for things that had happened although she'd never understood in her dream just what he felt guilty about.

"Does this mean you aren't accepting the invitation to attend my pity party?" Flack retorted glumly, cutting her a slight wry smile to show that he wasn't upset and appreciated her kick in the butt.

She winked at him in reply to show she understood what he wasn't saying. "Can't; I'm too busy with my own pity party."

He narrowed his eyes toward her. "Why're you having a pity party? You saved Saunders life Friday and mine today when my seat belt wouldn't come free. You haven't failed anybody."

"I haven't ID'd our DB yet. I have a feeling finding his identity is key to breaking this case." In her mind she could still see those familiar eyes staring up at her from the autopsy table, his hand grasping her wrist as if he could snap it in two like a twig. She unconsciously rubbed her wrist again as her mind's ear heard Myrtle begging her to figure things out before others died.

"What did you do to your wrist? Did you hurt it in the accident today?" Flack's concerned voice broke through her thoughts.

"What?" She looked at him startled by the interruption and sudden change of the subject.

"Your wrist, you keep rubbing it like it hurts. Looks swollen too. You should get Hawkes to look at it tomorrow. You could have sprained it or something in the wreck and with everything else going on, not even realized it." His explanation made more sense than a dream image hurting her while she slept. The pain must have been masked until she was asleep and then worked its way into her dreams.

"I guess." That could explain the pain but not the rest of the dream. "Flack, earlier you were telling me about the accident that took Myrtle's daughter. What injuries did you say her grandson sustained in the wreck?"

Flack looked just as confused by switch in topic. "Damn near broke his back and busted his right leg to hell and back. Why?"

"This morning while we were going crazy wondering if you were okay, Sid came up from the morgue. He'd discovered some pretty major old injuries that were pretty distinctive. Injuries to the back and the right leg that looked like they occurred about a year ago."

Flack's breath caught in his throat. "What are you suggesting?"

She took a deep breath. "We've been trying to figure out why someone dragged Miss Myrtle into their vendetta. Don, is it possible that our John Doe is her grandson Tanner?"


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. I've been working on a project that had a deadline so everything else kind of got pushed aside. Not to mention I've been having to do some internal debating with this chapter on what was going to happen. This chapter backs up and shows Danny's arrival at the crime scene and then works back up to where chapter 14 left off. Hope you like it. I look forward to hearing from you.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 15

Danny pulled up as close to the precinct as he was allowed and then got out of the truck. Taking the promise he made Lindsay about being careful to heart, he'd already put his vest on over his shirt before he'd ever pulled away from the apartment. He grabbed his kit and jogged lightly toward the steps of the building where he could see people already gathered around. Mac looked up as he came into view.

"Sorry I had to pull you away from home tonight. I have Jo and Sheldon enroute the hospital to process the clothes and bullets of the injured officers and really needed the extra hand here on the scene."

Danny waved off the protests. "Don't worry about it. I understand. The hardest part was convincing Linds to stay at home. It helped that you had expressly forbidden it though."

Mac nodded, glad that he had had the forethought to issue the edict that Lindsay wasn't to come along. "She doesn't need to be here tonight; they'll probably still be plenty of evidence to process come morning - if she feels up to working. It always seems like the pain is much worse the day after a wreck than when it first happens."

"You know Lindsay; she'll be at the lab bright and early whether she's in pain or not." Danny knelt beside the body sprawled across the steps closest to him. His eyes first landed on the name plate on the uniform. Saunders. He frowned and glanced up at Mac. "Is this the same officer that Lindsay…"

"Saved from this very fate just the other day? Unfortunately so. With so many officers out sick from yesterday and with Sinclair's order that two extra officers cover every call, the normal schedules are all screwed up. Three of the five officers hit tonight shouldn't have even been on."

"Why the extra manpower?" Danny asked as he opened his kit and prepared to process what he could of the body before the ME's office showed up.

"Sinclair wanted two officers on every scene focused solely on keeping an eye out for our suspects."

Danny looked around. "I know the entire streets blocked off; I practically had to sacrifice Lucy in order to get myself admittance into the area but is anyone watching us? This much activity would almost seem like a prime invitation for another attack."

Mac nodded, indicating the rooftops of all the nearby buildings. "The entire SWAT team with orders to shoot to kill if a Chevy Malibu even hints at coming close. Nobody is taking any chances after what happened tonight. In fact just to be on the safe side, I okayed one of the witnesses to the shooting to ride along to the hospital with the injured to provide protection. Besides, I figured it would be better for him; Paul Jenkins looked pretty shaken up. I didn't think he needed to stand around here being reminded of what happened."

"Shot at twice in such a short amount of time? Can't blame him for being shaken up; although I expect his wife will be more shaken up than he is. She was barely holding it together after the first shooting." Using his gloved fingers, Danny pulled Saunders's uniform shirt open enough to look underneath. "Still not wearing a vest I see."

"Officers have the same orders that I gave to all of you; vests are mandatory on crime scenes; these guys were heading into the precinct to end their shifts. There was no reason why they would be wearing their vests. Of the six officers standing here when the shots were fired, Jenkins was only one wearing his vest."

"Who were the other three?"

"Allen Henderson, Frank Johnson, and Phil Warner" Mac rattled off the names but it was clear he was just as bothered by the deaths and injuries.

Danny checked the second officer; his heart heavy as he recognized him. He'd probably worked a scene with just about every officer at the 1-2 but with seventeen years on the force, Sam Riley was a regular face at scenes. With a heavy sigh, Danny rose. "What do you want me to do?"

Mac nodded; he knew this was a hard scene for them all but was glad to see that Danny could focus on the job at hand despite his feelings. "I'll take the bodies and get them ready for the ME's office to take; you take the perimeter."

Danny got to work processing the scene. He'd been working steadily for about an hour when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket wondering who would be calling him so late and frowned when he saw the home number. If Lindsay was calling, something was wrong. He punched the answer button and could immediately hear her ragged breathing. "You okay, Babe?"

"_Danny? Thank God, you are alive; it was just part of the dream. I was so afraid that maybe they really had come back and shot again. Please promise me you are being very careful…" _

Just listening to her he could tell that this wasn't what she would label a bad dream but a full fledged nightmare and it didn't sound like she was completely out of it. She wasn't close to a panic attack but it would still take reassurances from him to calm her down. "Linds, Babe. I'm okay, sweetheart. No matter how bad the dream was it's over now and I'm perfectly safe. You don't have to worry about me; I got my vest on and pretty much the whole SWAT team guarding my ass." He wished he was doing this in person instead of over the phone, but he would have to do what he could. He wondered if it was possible that Flack wasn't so drugged out on his painkillers that he was aware of her plight and could step in in his stead. "Linds, are you by yourself right now? Did Flack wake up?"

"_He's sitting right here." _There was a shifting of the phone and then Flack came on the line and said hello. Danny sighed.

"Sounds like it was a bad one. She okay?" Danny pretty much figured he knew the answer but wanted to hear Flack's take on the situation.

"_Getting there at least but yeah I think it was a real doozey." _

The one statement told Danny quite a bit without it being too obvious. The nightmare had been just as bad as he had feared it had been and that her reaction was extreme but that she was slowly starting to calm down. He'd helped her through enough of these nightmares to know that she probably still wasn't even completely aware of all of her surroundings. He should be there for her, holding her as her breathing returned to normal and her shaking subsided. It always amazed him how cold her skin could feel during these moments as he wrapped his arms around her and attempted to transfer some of his own body heat back to her.

"I'm going to be tied up here for several more hours, it's pretty brutal. I hate like anything not being there if she needs me…"

"_I got it handled. Don't worr…yeah, forget that; I know that's like asking you not to breathe. She'll be fine. If I'm wrong, I'll call you back. You want to talk to her again?"_

"Yeah." Danny ran his hand over his face as he waited for his wife to once again come on the line. He could picture her sitting up in bed, her bare arms covered in goose bumps - her bare. Shit, he thought; she was naked when he left her and as exhausted as she'd been he bet she hadn't bothered to get dressed after he left. Had the situation been different, Danny could have had fun ragging Flack about the situation but right now he didn't dare say anything. When Lindsay had these kinds of nightmares she wasn't fully aware of her surroundings for quite awhile afterward and he couldn't chance Flack getting flustered by the situation to the point of not being able to be there while Lindsay needed him. When he was sure Lindsay was back on the phone; he promised her an extra special breakfast later to make up for not being there when she needed it. Glancing around to make sure no one was close enough to hear what he had to say he added with a suggestive tone, "And then if you want food we can do that as well."

She didn't chuckle but he could almost see a smile ghost her lips and he felt better about ending the conversation. "I love you, Linds. I'll see you later on, and I promise you don't have to worry about me."

She echoed the sentiment of love and Danny hung up. As he put the phone away, he saw Mac hovering nearby looking concerned. He didn't say a word but raised an eyebrow as if to ask if everything was okay. Danny shrugged. "She had a nightmare; she thought something bad had happened to me. She'll be okay; Flack is with her."

Mac nodded. "Doesn't mean you don't want to be there as well." He looked like he wanted to say more when his cell phone rang. With a look of apology, he stepped aside to answer it. "Taylor…How the hell did that happen?…..Damn, okay, keep me informed. Danny and I will be heading to the lab pretty soon to start processing the evidence."

Hanging up the phone, he turned back to Danny. "Let's finish up here and get back to the lab."

He returned to work but Danny just watched him. It was obvious whatever he'd been told on the phone had upset him but why hadn't he said what it was. "Mac, everything okay?"

The head of the crime lab shook his head. "Paul Jenkins collapsed in the waiting room not long after he arrived at the hospital. Turns out he wasn't so much shaky from being shot at but rather that he'd actually been shot himself. The vest hid the blood."

Danny thought of Sarah and how upset she'd be that her husband had been hurt once again on the job. He felt like a liar for his attempts to make her feel better. Maybe if he'd butted out and not said anything, the couple would have had a serious conversation that would have ended in some way other than him being shot tonight. "He okay?"

Mac sighed and slowly shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to tell Danny that Jenkins wound had been very similar to the one that had killed ten year old Reuben Sandoval several years earlier. The younger detective didn't need the reminder of that painful time on top of everything else he was going through. "He bled out before they could get him to surgery. Jenkins is dead."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Don stared at Lindsay for a couple of minutes after her question about Tanner. His initial instinct was to say no; there was no way Myrtle's grandson had turned to drugs so badly that he'd died of an overdose. Besides, he wasn't sure the elderly woman could handle another loss in her life if it were true. But the more that he thought about it, he realized that it could be possible that the body they'd discovered a few days ago could really be Tanner. He groaned.

"I don't know Lindsay; I mean I met Tanner a few times before the accident and he was a good kid. Could guilt really send him that far over the edge that he became a drug addict?"

Lindsay nodded, holding her sore wrist close to her chest to try to alleviate the pain. Seeing it, Flack rose and went into the Messer kitchen and opened the freezer. He pulled out two ice packs before closing the door. He grabbed three dish towels from the drawer and used two to wrap around the ice packs. After setting the timer on the microwave for twenty five minutes, he carried the wrapped ice packs and the third dish towel back to the living room. Without saying anything he placed her injured wrist between the two ice packs and used the third towel to hold them in place. Then he returned to his chair.

"Leave the ice on until the timer goes off; it'll help with the pain and the swelling. So you were about to say…"

"Flack, I know the type of guilt he had to be feeling. You lose someone who's that close to you and it's like your life stands still. All around you the world is still turning and others are going about their lives and you are stuck in that one moment afraid to move lest you lose that last contact with the person you cared about. You alternate between wishing you had died in their place to thinking you have to live up to everyone else's expectations because you survived and they didn't. People who weren't there don't understand what it's like or how to act around you so you feel even more alone. There is so much emotion built in you and it has to go somewhere. Even though it's wrong and self destructive, turning to drugs can help dull that pain."

Listening to her, Flack could imagine the pain she'd gone through as a teenager when her friends had died. He thought about the pain she'd gone through the last few months and how strong she'd been, even when she felt quite the opposite of strong. He couldn't picture the Lindsay he knew going through the pain she was talking about. He shook his head. "You didn't."

Her eyes cast downward and she seemed to shrink into herself just a little. "Yeah, I did."

Don looked startled by her soft admission. "I… Linds, …"

She jumped back in quickly before he could get the wrong idea. "Not hard drugs. You remember back when I first started having the night terrors and Sheldon wanted to prescribe something to help me sleep at night but Danny told him not to bother, cause he knew I wouldn't take them?" Flack nodded and she continued. "Danny knew I would never take them because I can't trust myself on sedatives. A couple of months after my friends died I was at my lowest. I didn't trust anyone and I wasn't sleeping at night because of nightmares of what happened. My doctor had prescribed sleeping pills and one night I took one desperate for some rest. It worked and I didn't dream, didn't feel anything. I took another one the next night and it got the same results. Pretty soon it was a nightly ritual. Then this little voice in my head said if it worked at night maybe it would help take the pain away during the day as well. When I wasn't asleep, I was so spaced out that I didn't feel their loss as much. I was functioning but barely. In order to make sure I had a constant supply of sleeping pills, I went to free clinics in three different nearby towns and got the doctors there to write me a prescription for sedatives and got the prescriptions filled at different pharmacies so no one would suspect."

Flack could feel the pain in her words as if it were still a fresh wound. "What finally happened?"

"My mom found the prescription bottles in my room one day. It totally freaked her out when she realized I'd been taking so many sleeping pills. She flushed them down the toilet and took me to the hospital. The doctors pumped my stomach and told my parents and me that I was dangerously close to an overdose. I'd been taking them for about two months but it took me about a year to get my sleeping habits back to normal. I haven't taken a single sleeping pill since then. I'm scared that it would be too easy to sleep back into that lifestyle."

"Damn." Flack drew out the word. After Jess had died, he'd spiraled out of control for awhile. One night when he'd been sitting at a bar downing his tenth or eleventh beer of the night, Lindsay had come in looking for him. She had told him there was nothing in that bottle that would bring Jess back She'd warned him that the only thing he'd find at the bottom of that bottle was more pain. He'd dismissed her concern, too wrapped up in his own pain to care that she was trying to help. Before he'd staggered out of the bar to find a new drinking spot, he'd disdainfully told her to go home to her husband and baby and to leave him the hell alone. She'd never held his actions against him and now he realized that she had understand what he was going through and was just trying to keep him from making similar mistakes that she had.

Lindsay let that sink in for a moment before she continued. "There's a major difference between what I went through and Tanner's experience. My friends would have died even if I had been in the room with them; I knew that even then although some inner voice tried to convince me that I could have made a difference if I hadn't been in the bathroom. For Tanner, he knew that his mom sacrificed her life so that he could live. I'm not a psychologist but I think that would compound his grief and feelings of survivor's guilt."

"How do we prove if it's Tanner or not? I'd hate to call Miss Myrtle in to identify the body but I guess I could call her to get her son-in-law's phone number and have him do it."

Lindsay sighed, the ice sufficiently numbing the pain in her wrist but making her whole body shiver with cold. With one hand she pulled the throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. "I know Captain Godwin had probably long retired before we started taking elimination samples from officers but do you think he might have provided a sample later in case we got leads on cold cases?"

Don nodded. "I'm sure he did. He was a regular fixture around the precinct long after he retired and he was fascinated by the new technology that came along."

Lindsay reached for the phone and punched in a number. She waited as the line rang in her ear and then a familiar voice picked up. "Hey Sid. It's Lindsay."

"_Don't tell me that Mac called you in on the shooting at the station. You should be resting after that crash this afternoon. I got a look at Don's car earlier and both of you are lucky to have walked away from it."_

"No, Sid, Danny got called in but Mac expressly forbid me to come in. I'm calling about our John Doe from the other day. Do you think you could run his DNA against our internal database to see if you get a familiar hit? It's just a theory I'm working on. I know you have your hands full with everything going on…"

"_Don't worry about it. I'm still waiting for the bodies to be brought in so I'll get the search started. I'll call you later when I get the results. Take care of yourself, Lindsay. This case will get solved with or without you."_

Lindsay promised and hung up the phone. She turned back to Flack. "This way we aren't hurting someone needlessly over a false identification. But what I don't get is if it is Tanner, why the attacks on NYPD? It's not like you and Jenkins purposely left Pam to die in order to save Tanner."

Exhaustion was creeping over Flack once again reminding him that it was still an ungodly hour of night that was created for sleeping not discussing painful memories. But at the same time, he wondered why this particular call hadn't come to his mind from the start. "Because if we had had enough responders on the call we might have been able to rescue both victims before the car exploded."

Lindsay cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "Why weren't there enough responders?"

Once again, Flack left the chair and went to the kitchen. If he was going to continue the conversation, he had to get some caffeine in his system and he didn't want to wait for coffee to brew. Instead he pulled a soft drink from the fridge and popped the top. After taking a long swallow, he retrieved another can for Lindsay and returned to the living room. With her one hand currently encased in ice, he opened her drink for her before settling once more in the chair. "Remember the Menzetti court case a year ago?"

Lindsay thought back and nodded slowly. Jake Menzetti owned several downtown bodegas that had been targeted for robberies and vandalism a year and a half ago. One night, he shot and killed a teenager that he thought was about to rob him. It turned out the kid was innocent and Menzetti had been arrested for murder. When the case went to court, his attorney successfully convinced the jury that Menzetti had been so victimized in the past that he wasn't able to differentiate between an innocent teen and another potential threat. He'd been found innocent and for several weeks, outraged citizens had created riots in the streets near his bodegas in protest. "What does that have…"

"The majority of our manpower was tied up handling the riots. Hell, I was on my way to one myself when I came across the wreck. I called it in but there was no one local to send. Jenkins had just gotten off duty and he responded on his own time. Dispatch called in units from other precincts but by the time they arrived it was too late." Flack admitted, clearly still haunted by the case.

Lindsay closed her eyes. She could only imagine how helpless and frustrated Flack had felt, knowing he was doing all he could do but that it wasn't going to be enough. "I guess that could cause some bitter feelings. But what's the connection to 43rd street…. Wait, there was a bodega right next to the alley where we found the body. Was that one of Menzetti's?"

Flack nodded. "I should have pieced this together days ago. The bodega on 43rd street was where the riots were taking place that night."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Author's note 2: Please don't hate me for letting Jenkins die. I didn't want to but it was the direction the story took and it refused to go anywhere else.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Notes: Sorry for the exceptionally long delay in updates. I had to nurse a hurt pride in order to get back into writing it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and are still interested in the story.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 16

"_So I just let him go to work tomorrow knowing that the people who shot at him are still out there and could try again?"_

"_Or you can let him go to work tomorrow knowing that he's still going to take every precaution to stay safe that he can and he's making the whole city a safer place. You can trust that we are going to do everything we can to catch the people who shot at him."_

His conversation with Sarah Jenkins the other day had been running through Danny's head since Mac had given him the news about Paul Jenkins' death, increasing his feelings of guilt with every repeat run of the useless advice he'd given her. Though Mac hadn't elaborated on how Paul had died despite the bulletproof vest, Danny understood the mechanics of the device enough to know where its weaknesses were. There was only one place he could think of that Paul could have been hit without realizing it and he knew exactly why Mac had been reluctant to bring up the exact way Jenkins had died. If anything, that knowledge only made him feel worse.

Danny sealed the evidence back into a bag and signed it before pulling off his latex gloves. His frustration and guilt had done nothing but grow since he left the crime scene and he vented those emotions by balling up the gloves and launching them toward the garbage can. Mac looked up from his microscope toward the younger man in concern. He frowned.

"Want to talk about it?"

Danny shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose against the headache that had formed. Instead, he grabbed a fresh pair of gloves and roughly pulled the left one on, snagging and tearing it as he did so. He yanked it back off. "Damnit it all to hell."

Mac came around the table he'd been working at to join the younger man. He could feel the tension radiating off Danny in waves; it was almost as bad as it had been when Lindsay had been missing. He put his hand on Danny's shoulder. "I'm not going to make it a question this time. Talk to me, Danny."

"Oh, I don't know, Mac." His voice was uncharacteristically bitter. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we have three colleagues down in autopsy waiting for Sid to cut them open to remove the bullets that killed them. They were shot down by the same assholes that nearly put my wife and best friend down there as well and we are nowhere the hell near figuring out who is responsible. How many more are going to die before we do?"

"Go home, Danny. You've been up all night and you need some rest. Use the time to check on Lindsay and then get some sleep before coming back in. You're not going to do anyone any good running on no sleep."

"Thus says the man who sometimes goes days without seeing his apartment?" The bitter edge had eased and he sounded more like his normal self but the defeated tone was still there. "Nah, I'm good. If I know Lindsay, she'll be here as soon as she can drop Lucy off at school. I'm going to run down to autopsy and see if Sid's recovered those bullets yet. Maybe we'll catch a break and get a hit in IBIS."

Mac watched as he started to leave the lab. He wanted to say something that would make Danny feel better but was at a loss to know what that was. This case was hitting close to home for all of them but it almost seemed as if Danny was blaming himself. Was it because of the narrow escapes that Lindsay had suffered in the last couple of days or was there more to the story that he wasn't aware of? He made sure that a lab tech was there to secure the evidence and then followed Danny down the hall and caught up with him just in time to enter the elevator with him. He didn't say a word as Danny punched the button for the basement where autopsy was housed. Once the doors closed and the two men were completely alone in the enclosed space, Mac turned his attention back to the younger man.

"This case is taking longer than any of us would like; there's no denying that. But we're going to catch them. You believe that don't you?"

Danny slumped against the elevator wall and rubbed at his eyes. He sighed. "Yeah, I do believe we are going to catch them. But how does that help the families of the officers that died tonight? It won't bring them back. When Jenkins' little boy cries at night for his daddy, what's Sarah supposed to tell him. 'Sorry, son, Daddy can't rock you to sleep but don't worry eventually his buddies at the station are going to catch the people who took him away from us'? You think that shit's going to make him feel better? What's he going to do on Father's Day every year? Hug a picture of his dad and be glad that we eventually caught the bastards that killed him? Shit, Mac."

Mac listened to his rant without interruption. Over the years of knowing Danny, he'd learned that when Danny let loose with that many curse words in one fell swoop it wouldn't do any good to try to reason with him. It was better to let him vent and get it out of his system. It was the verbal equivalent of Danny lashing out at the nearest object with his fists but infinitely easier on the hands and the unsuspected target. He couldn't help but wonder how much of this tirade was about Paul Jenkins' son growing up without a father and how much of it was a lingering fear of what would have happened to his own family if things had worked out differently four months ago or even earlier that day. Could he blame Danny for being wound tighter than a spinning top? As the numbers on the panel slowly counted downward as the elevator continued its decent, Mac finally found the words that he hoped would help his young friend.

"Do you want me to take Lindsay off the schedule until this case is resolved?"

For a moment Danny just stared at him, almost horrified that the word yes wanted to roll so easily off his tongue. Finally he shook his head. "I can't do that to her. I won't do that to her. She's worked too hard to get back to where she was and if you took her off the schedule she would think we didn't trust her to do her job right. Besides, she'd never forgive you, me, or especially herself if something happened to someone else on the team while she was stuck safely at home."

Mac nodded. He was pretty sure his suggestion wouldn't fly but felt like he had to make the offer anyway. But in making the attempt, Mac could almost see some of the tension leaving Danny's body so he had succeeded at least in part by the time the elevator stopped at the basement and the doors opened. Before either man could step out of the elevator, Danny saw a slightly familiar figure standing in the hallway bouncing a crying toddler on her hip. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Shit. That's Sarah Jenkins."

Mac wasn't sure how Danny knew the new widow but he didn't question it. Instead he stepped toward the woman who looked as upset as the child she was holding. Seeing them approach, she wiped at her red-rimmed eyes. He offered her his hand and she shook it limply.

"Mrs. Jenkins, I'm Mac Taylor. I'm so sorry for your loss."

She nodded, not really looking at Danny but jiggling the crying child a little more, trying to soothe him. "Officer Griffith came to my house and told me about Paul. By the time I got P.J. here up and we got to the hospital, they told me Paul had already been moved here. It just seems so unbelievable. Is it true? Is he really gone?"

Mac led her to a row of chairs along the wall and helped her to sit down. He reached for a box of tissues that was sitting on a nearby table and offered her several. "I wish I could tell you that there'd been a mistake but I can't. I know it can't bring Paul back to you but I can promise you that we are going to do everything in our power to bring the ones responsible for his death to justice."

Danny shifted uncomfortably as he remembered telling her just the other morning nearly the same thing. She still wouldn't look at him as she dabbed at her eyes with the tissues. "So I heard after the first attack. Maybe when it happens, I'll feel better about it but right now it just seems like a hollow promise. I don't understand how this happened. I know Paul was wearing his vest; after it saved his life Friday, he had another one issued to him and he promised that from the time he left the house for work until he returned home again at the end of his shift, he'd wear it. How could he have been killed?"

Mac sighed again and gently touched the toddler's cheek. It was obvious the little boy had been woken from a sound sleep and was unhappy about that as well as picking up on his mother's distress. "The bullet caught him in a vulnerable spot. With all of the excitement of what was happening and the adrenaline coursing through him, he didn't even realize he'd been shot until it was too late. I talked to him before he rode to the hospital and he seemed shaken but fine. I'm sorry; I wish I had realized he was hurt."

The toddler threw his pacifier to the ground as he began to cry harder. Danny, feeling guilty and helpless, reached down to pick it up and offered to go wash it off before returning it to the child. As she tried to console her child, Sarah shook her head. "I don't blame you. Paul called me when he first got the hospital to tell me what happened. He was so upset about the death of his friends but he assured me that he was okay. Told me he'd be late getting home because he wanted to stay until he knew how the three wounded officers were but he didn't want me to worry about him if I heard the news. When Officer Griffith showed up at the house and told me that Paul was dead I thought it was a sick joke or horrible mistake. Can I see him? I need to see my husband. Please."

Mac nodded. "Of course. I can arrange that right now but are you sure you want your son to see this? He's too small to understand…"

"I couldn't find a babysitter quick enough." Sarah interrupted. "I know this is no place for him but I felt like maybe if I could get to Paul quick enough maybe the horrible truth wouldn't be true after all."

Danny handed her back the once again clean pacifier. "I could watch him for you if you'd like. I can take him upstairs to our break room and try to get him to settle down some while you take the time you need down here. Please let me do this for you."

Mac looked from Danny to Sarah and back again. Gone was any trace of the earlier negative emotions that had been so obviously present in the younger man's tone; now only guilt and pain remained. Again he wondered about the history the two had shared but dismissed the question in his mind as Sarah studied Danny carefully before nodding. She peppered kisses on the toddler's wet cheek before standing.

"He's always grumpy if he doesn't get to wake up on his own but I'm afraid he's more upset that usual. I guess he realizes that Daddy isn't coming home. We only give him his pacifier at night but I didn't have the heart to take it away from him when I woke him up. He might go back to sleep but I don't know. He's got a bottle and a sippy cup in his diaper bag but I didn't think to put anything in them."

Danny nodded as he slung the offered diaper bag over his shoulder. "Not a problem. I can find something upstairs if need be. Can he have regular milk?" Sarah nodded. Danny reached out to take P.J. from his mother. At first it looked like the toddler was going to protest but then he acquiesced and allowed his mother to transfer him to the stranger's arms. Danny carefully rubbed his back comfortingly. "Hey there, Buddy. How's about we go upstairs and get to know each other." He reached out and gave Sarah's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about him. Take all the time you need; he'll be fine."

Danny waited until Mac had led the distraught widow down the corridor toward Sid's domain before turning back to the elevator. The toddler started to cry harder as he realized his mother was leaving without him. "Mama, mama, mama, dada, dada, dada."

Danny made a few shushing sounds and rocked side to side in a move that usually helped to comfort Lucy when she was upset. "I know Buddy. Life ain't very fair is it? Instead of the two people you want most, you get stuck with me."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Something you've been forgetting to tell me there, Cowboy?" Lindsay stood in the doorway of the break room watching as her husband was pacing back and forth trying to soothe an obviously upset toddler. Though he was doing all the things that usually worked with Lucy, Danny wasn't having any success with consoling P.J. even after an hour of trying. His own nerves were frazzled in the attempt and he willingly surrendered the boy to his wife as soon as she reached for him.

Lindsay held the squirming child sideways across her chest and kept one hand on the back of his head, preventing him from sitting up. Instead of pacing back and forth like Danny had been doing, she stood in one place and twisted her upper body back and forth while whispering reassuring words right in his ear. He struggled at first but then surrendered to the hold she had on him and slowly drifted back to sleep. Once he was completely out, she gave her husband a wink. Danny shook his head.

"You really gotta show me how you do that. It's like magic or something."

Lindsay smiled and then leaned over to kiss him. "Maybe one day I'll have a reason to teach you all my tricks. You okay? You look exhausted."

He reached over and caressed her cheek, taking strength in her presence. "I've had better nights. What about you? You look pretty wiped out yourself. Did you get any more sleep after I talked to you?"

She leaned her head down trapping his hand between her cheek and shoulder, needing the reassurance of his touch as much as he seemed to be needing it. "I'll be fine. So, who's our little friend here?"

"P.J. Jenkins. His mom is down in autopsy with Mac." He didn't say anything more but as tears filled Lindsay's eyes, he knew he didn't have to. He wrapped his arms around her, careful not to wake up the now sleeping toddler. "I feel responsible Linds. Maybe if I hadn't talked to her the other morning, Paul Jenkins would have agreed to take some time off after the first shooting. Maybe he wouldn't be lying on that autopsy table right now and maybe this little boy wouldn't have to grow up without his father."

"You can't blame yourself, Detective Messer. After I left here the other morning, after talking to you, I went home. I climbed into bed with my husband and I wanted to tell him that I trusted him to do his job without getting hurt. But I couldn't. Everything you said to me the other day made perfect sense but I just couldn't get past the fear that something worse could happen. When he woke up I told him everything you had told me and everything I was feeling. I assured him that I didn't want him to give up the job he loved but it was going to take me a while to get past my fears. He assured me that he understood and that he was just as shaken by what had happened."

Sarah came into the room and lightly brushed a lock of her son's hair from his eyes, careful not to wake him. She didn't take him from Lindsay but instead sank into a chair at a table. She looked up at them, fresh tears welling in her eyes. "He agreed to take some days off. Give us both a little time to get past what happen so we both felt more at ease about him returning to work. He shouldn't have been at work today. But he found out about the guys getting sick and that the station was really short handed so he canceled the rest of his vacation days. He begged me to understand that as much as he loved me he couldn't shirk his duty. It terrified me to watch him leave but I knew he was right. As he kissed me goodbye, he promised me that everything would be okay and that nothing would happen. I told him he'd better be right…" A sudden sob interrupted her words and it took her a minute to compose herself enough to finish her statement. "I told him he'd better be right because he'd be sleeping on the couch for a month if anything happened to him."

Lindsay and Danny exchanged a look. Since her arms were full with P.J. she motioned with her head for Danny to console the distraught woman. He knelt beside Sarah and gathered her gently in his arms. She sobbed almost desperately against his shoulder for several minutes. Lindsay could feel her own tears slide down her cheeks as she continued to sway to and fro with the sleeping toddler. How many times had she and Danny made similar joking threats to each other without a thought as to what would happen if something really did happen? She couldn't help but remember joking about killing Danny and making it look like self-defense because he wasn't helping to fold the laundry so they could leave for their vacation to Amagansett. It was on that trip that Shane Cassey had tried to kill Danny and then had shown up at their apartment later to try again. Would her words have come back to haunt her for the rest of her life had something actually happened to Danny during that encounter?

"Don't do that to yourself." Danny urged. "I can't imagin' Paul would want you to beat yourself up over something like that. Nothing about any of this is gonna be easy but don't make it any worse than it has to be. You got someone to stay with?"

She nodded and took several deep breaths to bring her emotions back in check. "Paul's parents are on their way. I talked to them right after Griffith gave me the news. They should be at the apartment soon. I guess I should get back there before they arrive."

She rose and took P.J. from Lindsay, managing to make the transfer without waking the toddler. Danny wrapped his arm around his wife as they watched the young widow leave the lab. He pressed a kiss on the side of Lindsay's head before she turned into his embrace. They were content to just hold each other for a few minutes as they consoled each other. Clearing his throat, he looked down at her.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

She smiled at him wanly. "As much as I love you." She leaned up to kiss him warmly and then stepped back before they both had to the urge to take their affection too far in the lab. She rubbed her wrist absently. The make-shift ice packs Flack had fixed for her had temporarily numbed the soreness but holding P.J. had aggravated it again. Danny looked at her in concern.

"You okay there?"

Before she could answer, Hawkes stepped into the room holding the bag of medical supplies he always kept handy. "Hey Lindsay, Flack called and said I should take a look at your wrist. Said he was worried you might have hurt it in the accident yesterday."

"Babe?"

Reaching out with her left hand, she gave Danny's arm a reassuring squeeze. "It didn't start to hurt until the middle of the night. I don't think it's serious but it is pretty sore."

Hawkes nodded. "You probably have a slight sprain but how about we take a quick x-ray and make sure nothing is broken. I don't think Mac would begrudge us the use of lab equipment just this once. If I'm right and it's nothing major, I can wrap it for you to help ease the pain. As much as you got banged around in the wreck yesterday, it's not surprising that you have new aches and pains emerging."

Thirty minutes later, Hawkes assured them that nothing was broken and had used an ACE bandage to wrap the wounded appendage. After promising to ice it down several times during the day, Lindsay had retreated to her office to work on her theory that the John Doe was really Tanner. Danny, after many protests, had agreed to catch a quick nap on the couch in their office.

Flack appeared at the office doorway about the same time Lindsay's phone rang. She answered after motioning for Flack to wait. "Messer?…. Thanks Sid, I appreciate it…. No, that's all for now." She hung up the phone as Danny sat up on the couch blinking wearily. She looked at both men. "Sid got the results back on the internal database scan. There was a familiar match to Captain Godwin. Our vic is more than likely Tanner Brandon."

Flack frowned, not surprised by the news but having his own to share as well. "I did some checking just in case your theory panned out. Care to take a guess as to what kind of car is registered in Tanner's name?"

Danny rubbed his tired eyes. "I'll take a stab at it. Chevy Malibu?"

"Bingo."


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: The language is a little worse at one point in this chapter. Just a little warning.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 17

"Hey Babe, I brought you some coffee. You look like you could use the caffeine boost as much as I can." Danny announced as he came into the office he shared with his wife carrying two mugs of steaming liquid. Usually they confined their coffee drinking to the break room but with the rough, sleepless night they had both had, drinking coffee in their office would be the only way they were able to get any work done.

Lindsay jumped as his voice broke her concentration with what she was looking at on the computer. As her husband came closer to the desk she quickly hit a button to switch the screen from what she'd been looking at before he could see the image on the screen. He raised an eyebrow at her maneuver as he set the mug on her desk. He nodded his head toward the screen.

"You hiding somethin' from me?" He hadn't missed the look of longing on her face just before he'd announced his presence. Whatever it was had caused a major reaction in her.

"No, of course not." Her denial was too quick to be believed but Danny didn't press her. She continued. "I didn't want to get caught doing non work related stuff on the computer, that's all. Stella sent me a link for the wedding dress she chose. She's going to look beautiful isn't she? That empire waist is perfect for Stella's figure and the cap sleeves will land just right on her shoulders. I don't think Brady will complain about the cleavage it shows either.'

Danny glanced at the screen that was now showing on Lindsay's screen and had to admit that it was a beautiful dress and that it would probably look absolutely perfect for Stella. Empire waists and capped sleeves meant nothing to him and the only cleavage he cared about any more was Lindsay's but he ohhed and ahhed over the dress appropriately, still wondering what it was that Lindsay really hadn't want him to see.

"Hey, Linds?" Flack appeared at the office door. "I got a hit on where Travis Brandon works. Want to go with me to talk to him about an official ID on Tanner?"

Almost without hesitation, Lindsay stood from her desk, ready to follow him. They didn't know what information Miss Myrtle's former son-in-law might be able to give them about Tanner's death and the attacks against them but he was their best lead so far. Before she walked around her desk, though, she stopped at Danny's side and gently wrapped her arms around him. "I love you."

Danny returned the hug tenderly and gave her a quick kiss. Despite what he'd told Mac earlier in the elevator, he really wished he could lock her away somewhere safe until this case was completely solved. But as he had told Mac, he couldn't and wouldn't ask that of her. He trusted her to stay safe and he trusted Flack to do everything he could to ensure here safety out there in the field. He was pretty sure that Lindsay was aware of his conflicted feelings and was going out of her way to reassure him and he loved her all the more for it. "I love you too. You got your new cell phone, right?"

She nodded. "Adam dropped it off about twenty minutes ago. See you soon."

Danny watched both his wife and his best friend head toward the elevators together. He wanted to follow after them, volunteer to go with them but knew that three officers showing up over an identification would be overkill even if that identification would then lead to questions about the attacks. Once they were out of sight, he turned his attention back to the dress displayed on the screen. He was glad Stella and Brady had decided to come to New York for the wedding. With everything that was going on, they all needed the excitement of something happy and life affirming to help heal the wounds this case had inflicted on them all. Still, he was curious as to what Lindsay had been originally looking at when he had come in. Taking a seat in front of her computer, he pulled up her recent history and found what she was looking at. It took his breath away as the image was displayed in front of him.

It was a different wedding dress but this one didn't look like Stella's style at all. It did, however, look like a fairy tale version of every little girl's dream wedding dress; the kind he could imagine Lindsay dreaming about as a girl with her best friends. The kind of dress she never got to wear thanks to his surprise eleventh hour wedding right before she left to visit her parents in Montana. Despite all her protests about not missing out on a real wedding, he once again felt like a heel for not giving her the chance to fulfill the dreams that every little girl experienced about their wedding day. Perhaps there was a way to make it up to her now. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. He pressed a button and waited until the person on the other end of the line answered. "Hey, it's Danny. I hope I didn't catch you a bad time. I need a huge favor."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Lindsay glanced around the interior of Flack's newly issued patrol car. While it was almost identical to the one he'd been driving just the day before, it still felt unfamiliar and almost foreign. She suppressed a slight shudder as she briefly flashed back to the wreck the day before. She knew it was illogical to even think the same thing could happen a second time but at the same time she couldn't help but feel a momentary surge of panic being back in the same sort of vehicle so soon after the wreck. She hoped her distress wasn't obvious to Flack - she didn't want him to feel any more guilty about the wreck than he already did.

Flack reached across the console and gave her left hand a slight squeeze. "Is it wrong of me to admit that I have this nagging need to crawl under the car and check the brake line before we pull out?"

The sheepish look he gave her made her chuckle and with it her fear dissipated. "You think Tanner's father is behind the attacks?"

"I don't know what to think. While I was hunting down information about the senior Brandon I check Missing Persons and no report has been filed on Tanner. The kid's been dead since sometime Thursday according to Sid's TOD; that's five days and no one's reported him missing? Why not unless you know he ain't really missing?"

The ten minute drive to the building where Travis Brandon worked was completed in companionable silence. Once they were parked, they both donned their bullet proof vests, not willing to take any chances, no matter how safe the scene appeared to be. Once they were in the elevator heading to the fifth floor, Flack glanced over at Lindsay and the bandage on her right wrist. "Damn, Linds, I forgot about your wrist. If Brandon rabbits, you let me take care of it. Danny'll have my ass if I let you get hurt again."

Lindsay rolled her eyes as she fought against the irrational pang his words caused her pride. "Not as badly as I will if you are going to start babying me."

He grinned good naturedly at her verbal warning. He held up his hands in protest. "Okay, okay. I definitely don't want to get on your bad side; you are a little scary when you go postal on someone's ass and I'd rather it not be mine. Let's go talk to Brandon."

Five minutes later, a secretary was showing them inside Brandon's office. He looked up from his desk and frowned. Lindsay watched him intently trying to decide if he could possible be one of the shadowy images she'd only caught glimpses of inside the Chevy Malibu. She couldn't be sure.

Travis Brandon stood up behind his desk and shook hands with Flack and was about to offer his hand to Lindsay when he noticed the bandage on her wrist. He frowned, looking a little resigned and not all that surprised to see them. "It's not often that the NYPD shows up at my office complete in bullet proof vests. It must be serious. My secretary told me you have some questions about my son Tanner. What has he done now?"

Flack frowned. Tanner Brandon had no priors on file; he'd checked it first hand when it appeared likely that Lindsay's theory about their John Doe being Tanner was accurate. "You sound like you expect him to be in trouble."

Brandon shrugged. "No one wants to believe their child is capable of getting in trouble with the law but I've known it's only a matter of time. He's in over his head and I'd help him if I thought he would take it. Whatever he's done, he can stay in jail until his trial. Maybe that's the best help I can give him."

"When was the last time you saw Tanner, Mr. Brandon?" Lindsay asked gently. The man was probably close to the same age as Mac but appeared to be much older. She could see the pain in his eyes, pain that she'd seen too many times in the eyes of people who had lost the ones closest to them and weren't sure if they'd ever recover. She'd seen the same look staring back at her from the mirror in the months after her friends had been killed. It was a look that could drive people to drastic measures. What kind had it driving Travis to?

"Thursday afternoon. Lately he only comes around when he wants something. That day, he was wanting money but I wouldn't give it him because I was sure that he wanted it for drugs. I told him he should be ashamed of himself; his mother had not sacrificed her life for him to become a fucking drug addict." He rubbed his eyes. "Why do you need to know when I saw him last? What did he do? Rob a bank? Steal a car? What?"

Lindsay handed him the picture Sid had taken of their victim in autopsy. "Is this Tanner?"

Travis glanced at the picture and then thrust it back to Lindsay before sitting on the edge of his desk. "That's him. Drug overdose?"

Flack nodded. He'd interviewed numerous suspects over the years and he could usually get a good feel as to whether they were guilty or not by their behavior. He wasn't getting a vibe either way from Brandon. He decided to press the issue just a little to see what kind of reaction he would get. "We discovered his body dumped in an alley on 43rd Street Friday afternoon, just seconds before someone took potshots at us and two other officers. Two officers that were killed last night in a second drive by shooting. We think both attacks were connected your son's death. A Chevy Malibu was responsible in both of those attacks. Tanner drove a Chevy Malibu, didn't he?"

Travis Brandon shook his head. "This is just fucking great. My wife died because you fucking people were too busy trying to protect some fucking murderer from people who wanted to see justice done. Now my son is dead and you want to fucking accuse him of a drive by shooting from the grave? That's just fucking great."

Lindsay didn't react to his many uses of the f-bomb; her years as a cop and interrogating suspects had lessened its impact on her. There was something about his blow-up that wasn't ringing true with her but she couldn't put her finger on just what it was. She folded her arms across her chest, hiding the wince as she turned her sore wrist in the wrong direction. "No, Mr. Brandon, we don't think Tanner is responsible for the shootings but we do think someone who knew him might be responsible. Perhaps because they blame the NYPD for both your wife's and son's deaths. Would you know where we could find your son's car?"

He glared at her. "Try hell, that's probably where Tanner is now anyway. Unless the two of you have something more substantial than innuendo and baseless accusations, it would be best if the two of you left. Apparently I have family to call and a funeral to plan."

Flack frowned. "We'll leave for now but I would recommend you making that a local funeral. We're probably going to have more questions for you real soon. In fact, one of your first calls might ought to be to your attorney."

Brandon continued to glare at them. "You can count on that. I'll have him add fucking harassment to the wrongful death lawsuit I have against the NYPD. Now get the hell out of here."

Flack and Lindsay stepped out of the office. She waited until they were back in the elevator before she looked at Flack. "What do you think? He didn't seem too surprised that Tanner was dead. Do you think he's involved?"

"I don't know. Something about him rubs me the wrong way but I can't put my finger on exactly what it is. I'm going to have uni's watching his every move until we know something for sure. I'd really like to take his ass downtown right now and put him in an interrogation room until we can find out for sure if he's involved but we just don't have enough to do that without giving credence to his harassment claim."

Lindsay nodded as the elevator opened on the ground floor. "Then we need to find some evidence. You got an address for Tanner?" Flack nodded. "Then let's go check out his place. Maybe there'll be something there we can use. If nothing else maybe his Malibu will be there and we can find some sort of evidence with it."

Flack considered her words. "Sounds like something more suited for you lab rats than me. You think you can get Danny to meet us there and the two of you handle checking Tanner's apartment?"

Lindsay nodded, reaching for her new phone. "You sound like you have something else in mind."

Flack nodded. "It's official now, Miss Myrtle has lost another family member. Tanner might have distanced himself from her in the last year but she still loved him a lot. I just don't want her to hear about his death in some callous way."

Lindsay reached over with her left hand and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure it would come better from someone who cares about her, way better than Mr. Sentimental upstairs. You okay with doing it though? It won't be easy." In her mind, she could still see flashes of her nightmare from the night before running in slow motion. The way dream Myrtle had collapsed upon finding out her grandson was dead.

Flack shrugged, a knot of tension forming in his gut. "Doesn't matter if I'm okay with it or not. I owe it to her to be the one to break the news to her."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Hey Babe, this place is a pharmacy of illegal drugs. Looks like Tanner was into a little bit of everything." Danny announced as he sifted through baggie after baggie of different types of pills. It would take them all several hours to identify and catalog all of the drugs he was currently looking at.

Lindsay looked over his shoulder at the pharmaceuticals and shook her head. "He must have been one miserable young man. I can imagine the guilt he felt over surviving the wreck at his mother's expense. He's doing everything he can to obliterate that guilt any way he can. Then when he's so far gone he can't hope to find his way back without help, his dad just adds to that guilt by making him feel like his mother made a mistake with her sacrifice. I was lucky, Danny. My family would have gone to hell and back to pull me from the brink after my friends were killed. At my lowest they probably felt like they had. Who did Tanner have?"

Standing, Danny took a moment to envelop Lindsay in a comforting hug. "From the way you talked about Miss Myrtle, I'm thinking he had her if he would have let her. Yeah, the kid went through hell with his mother dying like she did but he's ultimately the one responsible for how far he let it pull him down. Don't forget that, Babe."

She rested against him for just a moment, taking comfort in his embrace. Then she pulled back, knowing they had work to do. She sifted though some of the papers cluttering the desk. A stack of photographs caught her eye and she picked them up, sucking in her breath as she glanced through them.

"Danny, look at this." She handed the stack to him and his frown grew more pronounced with each one he looked at. Picture after picture showed different NYPD detectives and officers going about their routine duties. Someone had drawn a red bull's-eye around the head of each officer in the pictures. He stopped at one picture of himself and Flack at a crime scene.

"I remember this scene. This was about four days before our trip to New Orleans. Shit, Linds, that was over three months ago. They've been watching us for that long?"

"Longer." Lindsay admitted as she pulled another photo from the stack. "This was the first case I worked with Jo. Apparently we've been under surveillance since right after the wreck that killed Pam Brandon."

Danny shook his head. "Then Tanner couldn't have taken all these photos. He would have still been recuperating from his own injuries then. So if not Tanner, then who?"

Unable to answer Danny's question, Lindsay bagged the photographs and continued to look around. In the kitchen, she found another photograph stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet. She pulled it free and looked at it carefully before showing it to Danny. "A family photograph taken before the wreck. Looks like Tanner and his brother were pretty close before the accident. Maybe he can give us some answers."

"Worth a shot." Danny admitted. "How about we gather all this up and head back to the lab. Maybe Flack can locate the brother for us to question."

Lindsay nodded and bent down to start to do as Danny had suggested. Danny returned to the living room to do the same with the drugs he'd discovered. They worked in silence for the next several minutes. Then she stood in the doorway from the kitchen to the living room. "You about finished there?"

Danny nodded as he closed the evidence up in the kit he'd carried up to the apartment. He straightened just as something came flying into the living room window sending glass flying everywhere. He stared at it for a moment until he realized it was a Molotov cocktail, similar to the one Flack had said had been thrown in the patrol car Saturday night. With a yell of warning, he launched himself at Lindsay, sending them both tumbling back onto the kitchen floor. A second later, an explosion rocked the room.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Notes: I hadn't realized that I really hadn't done anything with Jo in this story yet other than a few mentions. I tried to change that with this chapter. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Again

Chapter 18

"Danny?" Her ears were ringing from the explosion and she wasn't sure if her husband was calling for her at the same time she was calling for him or if he was even conscious. She coughed as the acrid smoke filled the room. With a groan, she tried to push herself up to a sitting position but the smoke was much worse even two feet higher and she slumped back down. Instead she crawled toward where she believed Danny would be after pushing her to the ground. She couldn't help but flash back to the night he'd pushed her down as the shots rained down among the assembled group in the bar. That night, he'd saved her from being hurt only to end up in a wheelchair himself. Her heart seized with fear that this was going to be the same way.

Through the smoke, she caught sight of him just a couple of feet away as she got closer to him. It looked like half the wall had fallen on him and she could make out a streak of crimson on his forehead. Then his eyes fluttered opened and he coughed. Happy he was still alive, she leaned down and kissed his soot covered face. She could see his lips moving but couldn't hear what he was saying. She shook her head and then rubbed her ears, hoping to alleviate some of the ringing. Either it helped or Danny raised his voice because she could then make out some of his words.

"You 'kay?"

Lindsay realized she hadn't even given any consideration to any injuries she might have sustained in the blast. Her whole body was sore but unfortunately she'd almost gotten used to that sensation lately. Another round of coughs wracked her body and she couldn't suppress the groan the movement caused her battered body. Then she pleaded with him. "Danny? Baby? Are you okay? We gotta get out of here."

She leaned down so that they were cheek to cheek. A couple of tears slipped past her defenses and made tracks down her own soot covered cheeks. She could feel Danny moving next to her like he was trying to get up but then he slumped back down.

"Can't get up." Danny admitted weakly and Lindsay felt her heart stop. Suddenly she wasn't in the burned out apartment but on the floor of the bar, suddenly aware that her husband had been shot and couldn't feel his legs.

"No! No! No!" Lindsay practically moaned the words, scooting even closer to Danny.

Realizing what she was afraid of, Danny groaned again and shifted up as far as he could. Lindsay reacted immediately trying to push him back down. Managing to free his hand, he reached out and touched her, his fingers brushing against her chest as he did.

"Babe. Not like that. I can feel my legs I just can't move them. Too much debris on top of me. Get out and call for help. It's going to take some heavy duty manpower to lift this stuff off me." As he finished talking, he coughed again.

It took her a moment to realize what he was saying - that he was trapped not injured. She peppered kisses against his cheek and then reached back for her cell phone, glad that this one had survived the blast. She quickly dialed Mac and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Mac, help. Bomb. Apartment. Danny trapped." Between the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her and the coughs that continued to interrupt her, Lindsay could only speak in broken sentences. Still, Mac promised he was sending help and would be there as soon as he could. As Lindsay ended the call, she didn't even think to question how he knew where they were, simply trusting that if she needed help, Mac would be there. She could hear sirens getting closer and even though she knew even Mac couldn't work that fast, knew that help was closer than she thought. Her belief in her boss and the sound of help arriving calmed her down considerably. She leaned back down and kissed Danny once more. "He's coming, Danny. Hold on."

"Get out, Linds. Place is on fire. Lucy can't lose both of us."

"Lucy isn't going to lose either one of us, Danny Messer." Hearing him even hint at death spurred Lindsay into action. Forgetting the bandage on her wrist, she pushed at the debris hoping to be able to free her husband on her own. She glanced around the apartment surprised not to see any active flames. The explosion must have blown itself out. Danny reached out and gripped both wrists to prevent her from hurting herself on the rubble covering him, his strength reassuringly strong.

"Babe, please…" Tears filled his eyes and he wasn't sure how much of it was the smoke stinging him and how much of it was the fear that something would happen to the woman he loved while he was unable to protect her.

She leaned down and kissed him. "I'm not leaving without you. It's okay, the fire is out." She coughed again as the smoke continued to sting her throat every time she spoke.

"But what if they throw another bomb in here? We might not be so lucky next time. Get out while you can. I'll be fine until help arrives. Please go." His own pleas were interrupted by fits of coughing. He groaned as the movement hurt.

She shook her head, determine not to leave his side until they could both leave the building together. She wondered if she should try to get some dish cloths wet so they could cover their faces until help arrived. She was just about to move away from Danny to look in the drawers closest to the sink when she heard heavy footsteps approaching. Realizing that help was nearby, Lindsay shouted to get their attention. A moment later several firefighters came into the room. It didn't take the rescuers long to survey the scene and realize what the problem was. One gently pushed Lindsay out of the way so they could kneel beside Danny. She recognized the name Walsh on his helmet and knew this was Brendon Walsh, the firefighter that Stella had once dated a couple of times. He took in Danny's condition through his air mask before speaking.

"Hang on, Danny, we'll get you free of this as quickly as we can." Brendon turned to a second turn-out clad firefighter. "Let's get some O2 on him while we free him."

A third firefighter looked at Lindsay. "You should leave. We'll take care of him."

Lindsay shook her head, still determined to leave only when Danny was free. "I'm staying."

"Get her the hell outta here. Please." Danny practically begged the rescuers. For a moment, Danny's eyes locked directly onto Brendon's through the mask and then the firefighter nodded.

"Johnny, take her outside; make sure she doesn't come back in. Lindsay, I promise you we are going to get Danny out of here safely but we don't need to have to worry about you while we do that. Okay?"

"Please Linds. Go with him. I'm fine; as soon as they can get this debris off me I'll be out with you. 'Kay?" Danny begged once more through the oxygen mask one of the firefighters had slipped over his head.

Her lower lip quivering ever so slightly, Lindsay nodded and slowly stood. The smoke was still thicker up higher and she immediately began to cough again. Johnny, the firefighter charged with helping our put an arm around her waist to help her out of the apartment where the air was clearer. They hadn't gotten far down the hallway when Lindsay heard Danny's voice over all the other noises in the apartment.

"Ow, shit guys, that hurt."

Fearing what might have happened, Lindsay turned back toward the apartment, ready to rush back to her husband's side. Without hesitation, Johnny picked her up bodily and put her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. She tried beating against his chest to get him to release her but his hold was firm as he made his way out of the building.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Jo Danville parked the Avalanche behind one of the fire trucks and climbed out. Looking up at the building, she couldn't help but worry about her two colleagues who were trapped inside. She hadn't been far away when Mac had called to report what Lindsay had told him in her call. All Mac knew was that Lindsay had sounded terrified and that Danny was trapped. He'd asked her to head to the scene knowing she'd be able to get there much quicker than he could.

It seemed like she'd been running nonstop the last few days; her path seldom crossing either of the Messers since this whole mess had started. But still, she knew the hell the young couple had once again been through and her heart went out to them. If anyone deserved a break, it was those two but they just couldn't seem to catch one.

A firefighter burst out of the apartment building with a struggling woman over his shoulders. It didn't take Jo but a second to recognize that it was Lindsay and that the younger woman was freaking out. The firefighter was calling for help and Jo rushed forward. She assumed Lindsay was upset with the way she was being held; it wasn't surprising that certain things triggered intense reactions in the former kidnap victim. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Lindsay tried to rush back toward the building. Jo grabbed her shoulders, giving the firefighter a look that said she'd take care of things.

"Lindsay, it's okay. Calm down. You can't go back in there. You're safe. It's okay, Sweetie."

Lindsay shook her head, her eyes never straying from the entrance to the building. "Danny's trapped. I think he's hurt. I should be there with him."

Jo could understand Lindsay's concern but there was no way she was letting Lindsay even close to that building again. She gave her a careful once over. Despite the soot that almost completely covered her, Lindsay didn't appear to be injured. Then Lindsay doubled over in a severe coughing fit and Jo was alarmed to hear a bit of a wheeze in the cough. She had heard enough about the wreck the day before to know that a near drowning on top of this explosion was a horrible combination. She put an arm around Lindsay's waist and led her to the back of the ambulance where a paramedic put an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. As the oxygen helped ease the coughing fit, Jo offered her reassurances.

"The firefighters will free Danny and I'm sure he's just as worried about you as you are him…"

"He couldn't move." Lindsay's voice was haunted by memories of the past. "What if this is like last time and he's back in a wheelchair? You weren't here then to know how hard it was on him not being able to do the simplest things he was used to doing."

Lindsay was right, Jo hadn't been there but she'd heard all about that painful time in Danny's history and she didn't want to see Danny have to relive that nightmare any more than Lindsay did. Still, Lindsay was only going to make herself sick worrying about it. She needed a distraction. "Don't borrow trouble. There's no way of knowing how badly he was hurt until the doctors look him over. How about making this medic happy and let him check you over while we wait for them to bring Danny out."

Jo eased to one side to allow the paramedic to move in beside Lindsay. He tried to pick up her injured wrist; the bandage that Hawkes had carefully wrapped around the swollen appendage just earlier that morning was coming loose from Lindsay's attempts to lift the debris off Danny. Probably later Lindsay would feel every new or worsening bruise and injury either caused or aggravated when Danny threw her to the ground but for the moment she could feel no pain except for the ache in her chest a the fear of what might be going on with her husband.

Lindsay shrugged off the medic's attempts and pushed the oxygen mask off her face. "I'm fine. Danny is lying up there with half a wall piled on his back but thanks to him I wasn't hurt."

She started to stand and Jo was pretty sure given half a chance that Lindsay would dart right back into the building. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mac standing close by. His eyebrow was raised in question and she shook her head, trying to let him know that she had everything under control. Or at least she hoped she did. She gave Lindsay a gentle tug back down on the back step of the ambulance and wrapped an almost maternal arm around the younger woman's thin shoulders. Getting Lindsay to consent to being examined wasn't going to work but hopefully an appeal to her sense of duty would.

"Linds, help me out here. What happened up there? Before everything went to hell in a hand basket. What were you and Danny doing here?"

Haltingly and between coughs, Lindsay explained about the apartment belonging to their victim from 43rd street and what they had discovered before the bomb was discovered. As she told the story, her eyes never left the building. "We were just getting ready to pack up and leave when we heard a window break. Danny didn't hesitate; he saved my life. What's taking them so long?"

Suddenly it was if she could hear her mother warning her about watched pots never boiling. She'd never understood exactly what that meant but she shifted her gaze just in case her mother had always been right. Her gaze swept the perimeter of the crowd her gaze narrowed. Suddenly she shot off the back of the ambulance and bolted toward the crowd. Taken by surprise, Jo took off after her and she could see Mac following as well.

Jo was completely taken aback as she saw Lindsay reaching for her gun as she approached a man in a suit. Then she saw that the man was standing next to a dark blue Chevy Malibu. Her own hand went for her weapon as she came closer.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had family to call and a funeral to plan." Lindsay's voice was cold but authoritative. Jo had heard her use a similar tone numerous times during interrogations but this time the Southern woman could hear just a hint of rage underlying the tone.

The man didn't appear fazed that several cops seemed to have gathered around him, hands itching toward guns. "I got a call that my son's apartment was on fire. I was worried so I came to see what was going on. What are you doing here, Detective? Hasn't my family suffered enough?"

"Why were you worried? You knew Tanner wasn't here."

"I was worried about Parker, my other son. He lives here as well. Now I answered your question, how about you answer mine. What business do you have snooping around my son's apartment? Was Parker there?"

"We had a warrant to search apartment. No one was home when we arrived. The landlord has a copy of the warrant. It should be intact; Tanner's apartment was the only one to sustain damage, I believe."

Mac reached out and touched Lindsay's shoulder lightly, not wanting to alarm the young woman. "Lindsay, who is this?"

Lindsay didn't even look his way, but kept her gaze firmly on the man before her. "This is Tanner Brandon's father. Our DB from Friday. Mac, Flack had uni's watching his office; check and make sure they are okay."

Mac didn't question her but went straight for his phone. Jo looked from the man to Lindsay and back again. "Lindsay, do you think he's responsible for what happened upstairs?"

Lindsay nodded toward the car. "The Malibu wasn't there when Danny and I went in. We would have noticed it. Seems pretty suspicious to me."

Mac hung up the phone. "They're okay. They thought Brandon was still in his office. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come to the station. We're going to have some questions for you."

Another burst of movement behind them tore Lindsay's attention back toward the apartment. The firefighters were emerging carrying precious cargo between them. Lindsay completely forgot about Travis Brandon as she realized her husband was close. She turned and practically ran to his side, reaching him just as they set the backboard on a waiting stretcher. Lindsay reached out to touch Danny's shoulder, her hands shaking as their eyes met. He smiled at her.

"I know this looks bad but they insisted on trussing me up like a turkey. It's mostly precaution. I'm okay, really. Quit looking so worried, Babe. It's not like before."

She tenderly brushed her fingers against his cheek as a couple of tears slipped down her cheeks. "Damn you, Danny. I didn't want to leave you. I heard you yelling from pain."

Danny wished he was able to move his hand enough to take hold of hers. Despite his earlier reassurances that he was okay, she'd apparently held on to the fear that he'd been hurt far worse than he'd admitted to. "Yeah, it hurt like hell but don't you see what that means, Linds. I felt it. The two of us might be a matching pair of bruises on legs but I'm not gonna fuss about the pain. I'm sorry if you felt pressured and forced up there; God knows I didn't want to bring up bad memories for you but I had to make sure you were safe. I'm sorry for the way it was done but I won't apologize for wanting you out of there."

"We need to get you to the hospital. Ma'am, do you want to ride with us? Maybe actually get checked out yourself now that you know your husband's safe?" The medic asked gently.

Lindsay nodded and followed him to the waiting ambulance. Mac watched his two younger CSIs being loaded into the ambulance and felt torn. He wanted to go with them to make sure they really were okay; not to mention be there for Lindsay as they checked out Danny. But he also wanted to be the one to question Travis about his role in all this. As if sensing, his dilemma, Jo reached out and touched his arm.

"Go with them. It'll probably be a couple of hours before Fire deems the apartment safe enough for me to process it. I'll take Mr. Brandon down to the station and process him . I'll check him carefully for any trace of flammable liquid and make sure he sits tight until you get back. Lindsay needs you there. Tell them both I'll check on them soon."

Mac flashed her a grateful smile before dashing off to make sure what hospital the Messers were being taken to. Jo turned toward Brandon.

"Come on, Mr. Brandon. You have some explaining to do."


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes: This chapter came out more focused on Mac but I felt like he had the story to tell here. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 19

"I'm walking in now. I'll see you back at the station as soon as I'm sure Danny and Lindsay are okay." Mac ended the call as he entered the emergency department for the hospital Lindsay and Danny had been transported to. Part of his job as the head of the crime lab was to be there when one of his own was hurt but it was the part he hated the most. It almost hit him as a failure on his own part if one of his people was hurt in the line of duty. Lately, he hated it even more than usual as it seemed like his trips to the emergency room revolved around one of the Messers.

At his inquiry, he was directed to a large curtained off cubicle that could hold two beds. He was glad that the hospital personnel hadn't tried to separate the couple; they both did so much better together than apart. He paused at the entrance without announcing himself; a small smile tugging at his lips.

Though two small hospital cots were present, only one was occupied. Danny had apparently been cleared of serious back injury because he was no longer strapped to the backboard. Instead, he was lying flat on his back save for the slight incline of the head of the bed. An oxygen mask covered his mouth and nose and his eyes were closed. However, Mac could tell by the movement of Danny's left hand that the young man wasn't asleep. Danny's hand was lightly caressing his wife's arm as she had managed to carve out enough space on the small stretcher to curl up next to her husband. She also was wearing an oxygen mask and from the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, it was clear that she was sleeping soundly.

Mac wasn't sure how they had managed to make such a small bed seem built for two but he was almost sure this wasn't what the doctor had had in mind when he put them in the same cubicle. His theory was confirmed when Danny's eyes suddenly flew open as if he sensed he was being watched. His arm tightened protectively against Lindsay's back as if he was afraid someone was about to wrench her away from him. His grip relaxed as soon as he realized it was Mac and not a doctor or nurse who would fuss about their current sleeping arrangements.

Danny held out his right hand in greeting and Mac gave it a friendly squeeze. He made sure to keep his voice low so as not to disturb the sleeping woman at Danny's side. "You okay?"

Removing his hand from Mac's grip, he pushed the oxygen mask up and then rocked in hand in a so-so gesture. "A little smoke inhalation, hence the facial accessory. Nothing appears to be broken. No complaints there. Plus I have complete feeling which while I'm very happy about that, it also means it feels like a wall just fell on me which hurts like a mother. Doc wants to run a few scans before he decides if he wants to admit me or if I can go home."

A sudden coughing spell wracked Lindsay's body but she didn't wake up. Danny patted her back until the coughing subsided and now that Mac was closer he could hear a slight wheeze as she breathed through the oxygen. He nodded toward her. "What about Lindsay?"

Danny tucked her in closer and grimaced at the pain it caused. "She wasn't injured but she breathed in a lot of that smoke as well. Smoke inhalation on top of the water she probably sucked in yesterday in the wreck has played havoc on her lungs. Doc ordered a chest x-ray to check for inflammation when we first came in to check the damage. She should have gotten out when I first told her to. She stayed because she was worried about me."

Mac shook his head. "You wouldn't have left her either if the situation was reversed. She'll be fine; both of you will."

Danny nodded, his own sudden cough sending a fresh wave of pain through his back. Mac gave him a steady stare until the younger man relented and returned the oxygen mask to it's proper place. "Damnit, Mac, tell me we got the bastard this time."

"Travis Brandon has to be involved." Lindsay mumbled sleepily. Her eyes had opened but she made no move to leave Danny's side. A jaw popping yawn interrupted what she was about to say. Then she continued. "He was too calm to have been frantically worried about his son as he said he was. Plus he was at the Malibu; it wasn't there when Danny and I entered the apartment. It couldn't have been a coincidence."

"We took him in. Jo is processing him as we speak, checking for any evidence that he's been in contact with flammable liquids. I'm heading back to the station to question him as soon as I'm sure the two of you are alright. Flack's meeting me there."

The wince that crossed Lindsay's face had nothing to do with pain. Flack had been heading to Myrtle Godwin's after dropping her off at the apartment to inform the sweet old lady of the death of her grandson. The woman had been through so much; what would this newest news affect her. Her nightmare was still fresh in her mind and she could still see the dream Myrtle collapsing in autopsy from an apparent heart attack and she could only hope that her nightmare wouldn't come true. "How did Mrs. Myrtle take the news?"

"She's okay. I think it was harder on Flack to deliver the news than it was for her to hear it. She's upset but took the news better than Flack expected she would. Brickman's still with her and believe it or not, he'll take good care of her."

An orderly came in and paused once he saw the couple sharing the bed. He checked his chart again. "I'm suppose to take Danny Messer for a MRI."

Lindsay groaned but lifted the oxygen mask long enough to kiss him on the cheek. "Guess I have to go back to my own bed now. Love you."

She eased out of the bed but Danny reached over and squeezed her hand. "Love you too. Relax, I'm fine, Babe. I promise."

The orderly unlocked the wheels on the stretcher and pushed Danny out of the room. Lindsay stood in the middle of the room just watching the retreating form of her husband. Mac put a comforting arm around her shoulders and led her back to her own bed. He sat down beside her and she leaned heavily on him. She looked exhausted but why shouldn't she? Her life had just settled down back into a normalcy that had been lacking since the attack and now this case had turned it upside down once again. Mac was pretty sure Danny's injury was bothering her more than any of her own injuries.

"I was so scared, Mac." Lindsay admitted in a small voice. "He was laying there and saying he couldn't move and even though he tried to reassure me that it wasn't like last time I kept flashing back to that night in the bar. Not even the hell I went through after the kidnapping compared to the fear I felt up in that apartment."

Though thoroughly a man of science, Mac understood love; especially the kind of love that Danny and Lindsay shared. He'd once been fortunate enough to experience love at its grandest with Claire. That feeling that two hearts could beat almost as one. He also knew first hand that that kind of love came with a price – a high cost. When you love someone so completely – the way he had loved Claire and now Danny and Lindsay loved each other – there was a risk of losing that better half of yourself.

In the years since 9/11, he'd often privately railed against the unfairness of Claire's death. In an instant she was gone and he didn't even have a body over which to grieve. In one instant, the best part of his heart had been ripped from his chest and even ten years later it wasn't completely healed.

On the other hand, in just over two short years of marriage, how many close calls with death had Lindsay and Danny endured? With each one, were little bits of their own hearts stripped away by the fear of losing the one they loved? If so, how much more could they endure?

Earlier that morning, Mac had offered to remove Lindsay from the schedule until the case was solved. Danny had declined the offer and at the time Mac had understood such a maneuver on his part would be detrimental to Lindsay's self-esteem. Now, with this latest attack, he had to intervene. He just had to figure out a way to do so without hurting either Danny or Lindsay.

"This just sucks a big one, you know?" Lindsay continued as if no time had passed. "Sunday we find the house of our dreams. We are suppose to close in just a couple of days; we couldn't believe how fast it's all coming together but Mrs. Goldberg wants to get to Vermont as soon as she can. While I was so worried about how badly Danny was injured, the weird thought came through my mind trying to remember how accessible the new house would be if Danny had to go back to a wheelchair."

And with that, Lindsay presented Mac with the excuse he'd been looking for. "He's not going back in to a wheelchair, Lindsay; rest assured of that. As far as getting things ready for the house, I want the two of you to take the rest of the week off. Both of you are going to have to take things slow with your injuries and I don't want you worrying about work on top of everything else."

"But Mac, you'll be short handed…" Lindsay started to protest but Mac stopped her.

"Don't worry about it. In fact, I'm so sure of this, I'll even go so far as to volunteer at least a half dozen extra strong backs when it comes to moving your stuff from the apartment to the house. I know you and Danny are capable of doing it by yourself but I'm sure everyone will want to help. If for no other reason than for the beer and pizza the two of you will provide for us helping."

"Lindsay? Are you okay? How is Danny?" Anna Messer came striding into the cubicle, her face fraught with worry. She hugged the younger girl who looked confused.

"I'm okay; they are running tests on Danny but everything looks okay there as well. How did you know?"

Mac smiled and eased off the bed. "I called her on my way here. I knew I would have to get back to the station and I wanted to make sure there was someone here I could trust to make sure the two of you followed doctor's orders. I'll call you tonight to check on the both of you and to let you know how the interrogation went."

Anna pushed a stray strand of Lindsay's hair away from the younger woman's face. "Don't worry, Detective. They'll not only follow the doctor's orders but any more that I decide to add on."

Lindsay groaned good naturedly as Mac left the cubicle.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Mr. Brandon, you had gasoline residue on your hands." Mac casually broached as he sat down opposite their suspect.

The businessman shrugged, not seeming to be concerned with the fact that he was being questioned by the police. "I stopped this morning to get gas; I had a problem with the nozzle. I guess some of the gas must have splashed on to my hand then. I have the gas receipt in my wallet."

Mac nodded, indicating that man could retrieve it. Travis Brandon handed over the receipt and Mac studied it carefully. "Says you only purchased four gallons." He looked over at Flack. "Wouldn't you say that's probably how much you would fit in one of those portable containers? You know, the type that would be very easy to use to fill glass bottles when making fire bombs?"

A red flush crept up from Brandon's neck. "Are you really insinuating that I blew up my son's apartment? Why would I do that? I can't believe you people. First that one and the crazy woman from the apartment show up at my job to tell me my son was dead and that they thought I might be responsible for some attacks on cops. And now this? No wonder innocent people die; you idiots are too busy chasing your fucking tails."

"Innocent people have died because someone has made it his personal mission to kill officers just doing their duty. I have to say that yeah, I think that someone is you." Flack snapped.

Brandon snorted. "Innocent people my -. Innocent people don't sit back and protect murderers while truly innocent people are dying."

Flack stood abruptly, his chair knocking over in the process. "Are you kidding me? Those innocent people you want to claim aren't so innocent? Saunders wasn't even working for NYPD when your wife died. Riley wasn't on duty; he'd just come off working three straight shifts. And Jenkins? He was there with me the night Pam died. He was injured trying to rescue her after the explosion."

Mac touched Flack's arm to calm him down before regarding the suspect. "The crazy woman as you called her was in your son's apartment with her husband when it was bombed. Her husband was trapped and she didn't know if he was going to be able to walk again. I understand you had that same worry about your son after the accident. I can assure you we aren't just chasing our tails; we are following the evidence. Right now, our evidence is leading us to you."

Travis leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "If you have evidence more substantial than spilled gasoline then I suggest you charge me. Make a formal arrest so I can sue you for harassment once I'm exonerated. Otherwise, I have nothing more to say."

Both Flack and Mac left the interrogation room. Jo was waiting on the other side of the door. She'd watched everything through the observation window. She shook her head. "What do you think?"

Mac sighed. "I think he's a very angry man who's never gotten over his wife's death. I think he knows more about the attacks than he's saying but I don't think he's directly involved. He's too calm."

"You thinking his other son? Parker Brandon?" Jo suggested.

With a shrug, Mac looked through the small window into the room. Brandon was pacing back and forth in the room, looking worried but not overly anxious. "He's lost a wife and a son already. It would make sense that he would want to protect his other son. I want the two of you to track down Parker Brandon and bring him in for questioning."

Flack nodded and started to walk off but Jo remained rooted to her spot. She could see the wheels turning in Mac's head and knew he was deep in thought. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to try talking to him again."

Flack frowned. "You can't. You heard him. He lawyered up on us, Mac."

"No, he didn't. He said to either charge him or he wasn't talking. He never mentioned his lawyer. Besides, I don't plan on interrogating him. I simple want to talk to him grieving husband to grieving husband."

Jo reached out and touched Mac's arm. "Mac, are you sure? You can't compare yourself…"

"Grief is grief. It might manifest itself in different ways but the emotion is the same." Mac waited until Jo and Flack had left before opening the door and returning to the interrogation room.

Brandon stopped mid-pace. "Come to read me my rights, Detective?"

He sat down again as if this were an ordinary conversation. Mac sat down opposite him once more. "Sort of. You see, you have the right to be angry over the death of your wife. You have the right to feel cheated out of the life the two of you should have been able to lead. You even have the right to be disappointed with the choices Tanner made in dealing with his own grief. You have all of those rights but your rights end once they infringe on the rights of others."

Brandon shook his head. "What do you know about grief and what I'm feeling?"

"My wife was killed in the 9/11 terror attacks. Her body was never recovered. There were moments in the days after September 11 that I wasn't sure I could go on without her. I regretted every minute I had ever spent apart from her, every missed opportunity to tell her I loved her, every decision we had delayed making thinking we had all the time in the world. I didn't think anyone else could ever know the depth of my grief. I wanted, no, I needed, someone to blame. Someone I could hurt until they felt even half as bad as I did."

The rims of Brandon's eyes were red but no tears spilled over. Mac knew he'd touched a chord deep within the other man. "You think that's what I did? Decided to hurt members of NYPD because they didn't save my wife?"

Mac shook his head. "No, I think you are protecting the person who is responsible because you are afraid of losing someone else you love."

Brandon scoffed. "Who do you think that is? Tanner? My son is dead, Detective, but the truth is I lost him long before he died. The drugs he'd turned to wouldn't have left him the ability to do the things you want to accuse him of."

"I'm not talking about Tanner. What about Parker? Could he have been so grief stricken over his mother's death and brother's decline that he decided to take matters into his own hands?"

Brandon shook his head. "Leave him out of this. Parker didn't do anything. You're wrong. I'm the one who killed those cops and bombed the apartment earlier."


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Notes: Another chapter for you. The case itself will be wrapping up soon but then we'll have Stella's wedding.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 20

"Why am I here?" Parker Brandon demanded as soon as Don Flack and Jo Danville entered the interrogation room. As the two officers sat down on the other side of the table, Parker's glare narrowed on Flack. "I know you. You're the cop that let my mother die. Haven't you done enough?"

Even though rationally, Flack knew he'd done everything possible that night to save both Pam and Tanner before the car exploded, he still felt an incredible sense of guilt that he hadn't been completely successful. However, no matter how great his guilt, the accusations of both Travis and Parker Brandon were starting to piss him off, especially in light of everything else that had happened. He was about to come back with a biting retort when Jo surreptitiously reached over and touched his knee.

"Mr. Brandon, are you aware that we found your brother Friday afternoon?"

He shook his head but shifted uncomfortable. Then he once more glared at Flack. "It's his fault my brother died. My brother couldn't live with the guilt of surviving at my mother's expense. If Detective Flack and the other stupid officers had made sure both Mom and Tanner lived my brother wouldn't have turned to drugs and he wouldn't have died from that drug use."

Jo eyed him carefully. "I never said he was dead, just that we found him. You obviously know more than you want to admit. Why is that?"

The younger man's eyes watered but no tears spilled over. "Tanner called me late Thursday night. I could tell he was whacked out on drugs. He kept going on and on about how he wasn't worth Mom giving up her life to save his. It was the same story I'd been listening to since the accident. I don't know how many times I'd tried to get him help but he just wouldn't listen. He was so consumed by his guilt. It made me so fucking mad that my family was still suffering a year later and nobody seemed to give a damn. I said some things I probably shouldn't have and then hung up the phone. I felt bad about it almost immediately but I was at work and there wasn't much I could do. By the time I got back to the apartment, it was too late. He was dead."

Don frowned. "You didn't call the police, fire? Why is that?"

Parker shrugged. "I was pissed. I wasn't thinking anything. I wanted someone to hurt as much as my family had been hurting."

Jo's expression was unreadable but she was clearly studying him carefully. "So you dumped your brother's body and waited until the police showed up and decided to take potshots?"

Parker shook his head. "No, it was nothing like that. I had stopped at the bakery on the way home to pick up some donuts; Tanner always had a sugar rush after he got high. I wanted to make him feel better. When I discovered that he was dead I just couldn't take my eyes off that damn box. All I could think of was that my mom and my brother would still be alive if you assholes had just done your job and yet my grandmother still insisted on baking fucking treats for her precious 'boys in blue' every single month. Made me sick."

Don shook his head, realization dawning. "So you decided to use Myrtle to make us sick."

Parker nodded. "It wasn't hard. I slipped into my grandmother's house and switched her usual baking chocolate with x-lax. Changed the wrappers; I knew she wouldn't ever notice the difference. After she left to go deliver her goodies to you puke-for-brains, I slipped back in and changed the wrapper on what was left back to the x-lax. I didn't want her to get sick. I figured she'd just think she put the medicine in the wrong cabinet and that would be the end of it. You gonna arrest me for giving New York's Finest the runs?"

Don looked like he wanted to do more than just arrest Parker. How many nights had he gone to sleep at night only to relive the night Pam Brandon had died, wishing he could have done more? He'd never told anyone just how guilty he'd felt just being around Myrtle after the accident; knowing he was at least partially responsible for her grief. The elderly woman had been through so much and she'd never given any indication that she held them to blame for any of her pain. How dare this punk-ass kid unwittingly draw her into his plot for revenge and then leave her to feel like she was losing touch with her mental facilities? Yeah, he wanted to arrest the kid but only after planting his fist firmly in the boy's face.

Jo watched the young man carefully, fully aware of the myraid of emotions that were running through her friend at the same time. "We'll discuss charges later. Why dump your brother's body where you did? If you wanted to make a point, why not use the location of the accident that killed your mother?"

Parker wouldn't meet her gaze. "I didn't dump his body anywhere. I don't know what you are trying to accuse me of; I admitted to sabotaging the pastries but that's it. You got nothing that says I did anything else."

His tone suggested that he was anything but innocent. Jo and Flack exchanged a glance. He knew more than what he was admitting to. Not to mention Travis Brandon's sudden confession at the mere mention of bringing Parker in for questioning. He had to be trying to protect Parker from more than a misdemeanor charge.

"We have your father down the hall; he's already confessed to the drive-by shootings; you might as well admit to your part." Jo warned him.

Her words had an immediate effect, just as Jo figured they would. Parker's eyes narrowed and darkened. "My father didn't do anything. He's too wrapped up in his grief and his lawsuit to do anything real. Let him go; he's been through enough."

Flack shrugged, exchanging a glance with Jo. "Right now, he's the only one's who's really confessed to anything. I don't see how we could let him go unless we had someone in custody that we liked better for the murders."

"Screw you." Parker spat out. "I'm not going to confess to something I didn't do just to make you happy."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Ouch, shit, that hurt." Danny grumbled as he collapsed wearily onto the bed in his own apartment. Lindsay had tried to make the transition from standing to lying down easier on him to prevent him from jarring his sore muscles but just as she'd been helping him lower down, a series of hard coughs caught her off guard and she'd been forced to let go of his arm and press her hand against her chest until the fit subsided. As a result, he'd landed harder on the bed than he would have liked.

Anna Messer glared at him from the doorway. "Language Daniel. Besides, you'll make Lindsay feel bad. I can't believe that doctor saw fit to release either one of you. What was he thinking? The two of you could have been killed in that explosion and instead he lets you go home to rest and recuperate?"

The coughing fit passed and Lindsay shook her head. "You heard the doctor; nothing broken. Danny's just bruised and sore; I'm fine except for a little inflammation in my lungs from the combination of water after the wreck and smoke from the explosion. Really, we're okay, Mom. There was no reason to admit either one of us to the hospital."

"Hmmph," Anna commented almost disdainfully. "I'm not too sure either one of you is really okay but I won't say another thing. What can I do for you?"

Danny maneuvered a pillow under his back so he could sit up in a more comfortable position. He really hadn't meant to be so vocal in his declaration of pain; he knew despite the doctor's reassurances that he was okay, Lindsay hadn't completely escaped her earlier panic-filled fears that he'd been seriously injured. He just hadn't been able to control the outburst at the sudden jarring. He gave Lindsay's hand a tug, pulling her gently to a seat next to him, wanting her as close to him as he could get her with his mother still in the room. "Ma, you don't have to do anything. We appreciate you coming to the hospital and getting us home but you don't have to stay. I know you have better things to do than baby sit us."

Anna leaned over and kissed Danny's cheek and gave Lindsay's shoulder an affectionate pat. "Never anything better than looking after my son and his beautiful wife. But I'm sure the two of you would rest much better without an old woman doting about the apartment. How about I heat up some soup on the stove for the two of you; that way you can eat when you get hungry without having to go to the trouble of cooking anything. Then, I'll take Reese's with me and pick up Lucy and the two of them will stay with me and your father tonight so the two of you can get some real rest."

Lindsay wanted to protest that it wasn't necessary for Anna to take care of Lucy but stopped. She had seen first hand the fear that Anna had tried so hard to hide in the emergency room after Mac had left earlier. As they had waited together Lindsay could feel the waves of tension and unspoken nervousness radiating off her mother-in-law. Much like Lindsay had felt up in the apartment while Danny was trapped, Anna was feeling helpless to do anything constructive. Now that both Lindsay and Danny had been released from the emergency room, the strong woman who had given birth to the man Lindsay loved with all her heart had found a purpose, something she could do to help out her kids. Lindsay would not take that opportunity to help away from her. Lindsay smiled.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

Anna practically beamed and left the bedroom to get the soup ready. Once he was alone with his wife, Danny wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsay and pulled her down to where she was lying almost on top of him. She shifted slightly so that her weight wasn't on top of him but was nestled next to him. Her own arms snaked around her so they were firmly entwined in each other's arms. She let out a light sigh of contentment.

"I'm glad he didn't want to admit either of us. I don't know about you but I've had enough of emergency rooms and hospitals in the last few months to last me for at least a decade." She paused a moment and her lower jaw trembled slightly with unreleased emotion. "I think today was the hardest though, waiting to know if you were really okay."

A stray tear ran a course down her cheek and Danny reached up to gently wipe it away. He held her tighter, kissing her as if to kiss away her fears and pain. "Trust me, Babe, I'd much rather be the patient 'cause I'm not that patient at watching you in pain. As bad as I was hurting it was nothing compared to the pain I felt today every time it sounded like you were coughing up a lung. I guess that's what love does to you; makes the suffering of someone you love much more painful than your own. I can't say I'm upset that Mac has given us the time off; I don't want to test that theory any further."

Lindsay grinned but coughed once more. Danny patted her back comfortingly until the fit subsided. He'd had his own share of coughing after being pulled from the apartment but the oxygen had done a fair job of clearing the smoke out of his own lungs. Lindsay, however, would feel the effects much longer as the battering her lungs had taken both from the broken ribs from the attack months ago and recent events had left her with what could only be compared to a sudden bout of bronchitis. Once the coughing eased once again, Danny looked at her in concern. "Need the inhaler the doctor prescribed?"

Lindsay shook her head. It would probably help but she didn't want to move from the cocoon of love and safety of Danny's arms long enough to retrieve it from the bag of medicines they'd picked up at the pharmacy upon their release. The bag she'd dumped and forgotten on the kitchen cabinet as she had steered her husband back toward the bedroom. "As bad as this feels, I can't believe you used to voluntarily put smoke in your lungs from smoking."

Danny quickly covered her mouth with his hand, silencing her. "Shh, Babe. Ma's still in the next room and she doesn't know about that little habit I used to have. You want her to come marching in here and take me over knee? Cause I gotta tell you, she can pack a helluva wallop and I don't think my back could take it today."

His comment produced the giggle he hoped it would and the two were content to lie there in silence for the next few minutes. The painkiller the doctor had given him in the emergency room started to really kick in and Danny's breathing evened out as he drifted off to sleep. Lindsay had succumbed to her own exhaustion in the emergency room so she wasn't as sleepy but was content to lie there in the comfort of her husband's arms, listening to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart beneath her ear.

The bedroom door opened and Anna stepped inside carrying two bottles of water and the small white bag from the pharmacy. Seeing that Danny was asleep, she kept her voice low as she set her offerings on the nightstand. "The soup is simmering on the stove and it'll be fine until the two of you are ready to eat. I brought you water and your medicine so you didn't have to get up. I'm on my way out now but call me if there's anything either of you need."

Lindsay reached out and gave her mother-in-law's hand a squeeze. "Thanks. We really appreciate everything you're doing. I'll call you later whether we need anything or not."

After Anna Messer left with Reese's in tow, Lindsay snuggled back down next to Danny and drifted off to sleep as well. It didn't seem like she'd been asleep long when Danny shifted beneath her and his resulting groan of pain penetrated the cobwebs of her mind to wake her up. Blinking she sat up waiting until the coughs that assaulted as soon as she woke up subsided before asking if he was okay.

He nodded. "I have to go to the bathroom. I was hoping to ease out of bed without waking you but I think I've stiffened up while I was asleep. I'm sorry, Babe."

"Don't apologize." Lindsay glanced at the bedside clock and was surprised to see they had slept for a couple of hours. "You go to the bathroom and I'll check on the soup. You should probably take one of those muscle relaxants the doctor prescribe but you should eat something first."

Danny only nodded. The fact that he wasn't protesting taking the pills told her just how much pain he was having. He managed to climb out of bed, groaning and cursing the entire way. Lindsay remembered how hard it had been to move with her broken ribs and could only imagine that his pain was currently much worse. Once he had managed to walk the short distance to the bathroom, Lindsay picked up the prescription bag and carried it back to the kitchen.

The soup smelled delicious and even at just a simmer, was hot enough for her to dip up two bowls. She grabbed a sleeve of crackers from the cabinet to go with the soup and carried their small meal to the table. Danny joined her a few minutes later, easing gingerly into the chair. Lindsay kissed him before returning to the fridge for a couple of sodas. "How bad is the pain?"

"A three." Seeing Lindsay's look of disbelief, he continued. "Okay so really more like an eight but I have to deduct five because the pain serves as a reminder that I'm okay; that despite having a wall collapse on me I'm not gonna be stuck in that damn chair again."

Understanding the twisted logic in his statement, Lindsay didn't protest. They ate quietly, the silence broken only by the occasional groan from Danny and fits of coughs from Lindsay. After awhile it almost became almost comical and Danny couldn't stop the soft chuckle as he let his spoon clink against the bowl. "We make quite a pair, don't we? We could start a new reality show called America's Most Battered."

"God, I hope it would be a short lived show cause frankly I'm more than a little sick of the need for recuperation."

"Agreed." Danny finished off his soda and the fixed his gaze on Lindsay, the expression a mix between pain and longing. "Although there are some aspects of recuperation that I quite like. You know, the doc told me that moist heat would probably help with the pain and the humidifier always helps when Luce is congested."

A small smile played on Lindsay's lips. "And your point?"

"Maybe a nice hot shower could help both of us." Danny suggested.

Her grin broadened. "And of course it would be better for us to conserve water and take said shower together?"

Danny nodded, looking both completely innocent and completely flirtatious at the same time. "You know, you could massage my sore muscles while the hot water works the kinks out. And I could provide a little mouth to mouth if your lungs needed a little help breathing for you. What do you say, Babe?"

She could feel a little tingle deep within herself at the thought of how shared showers usually ended up and wasn't sure either one of them were in any shape for that kind of romp but she was sure he was craving her touch as much as she was his, a further reassurance that they were both okay. She nodded. "Sounds exactly like what the doctor ordered."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Mac strode through the corridor of the lab his mind a thousand miles away. Both Travis and Parker were in separate holding cells at the precinct. Travis was still admitting to being the sole person involved in the shootings but he didn't seem to know any of the pertinent facts of the case that would back up his confession. Parker was still denying any involvement other than perpetrating the X-Lax in the donuts but his manner suggested he clearly knew more than he was admitting. Until they had more proof, they were just as stuck as they had been.

As he passed one of the labs, a frantic tapping caught his attention. Adam was on the other side trying to get his attention. Mac backtracked and entered the lab. "You got something?"

Adam nodded. "There has to be a reason why Tanner Brandon's body was dumped on 43rd street and I'm sorry, the idea that the riots were going on at that location at the time of Pam and Tanner's accident just wasn't cutting it for me. So I've been running a search of every police call at that location for the last two years and cross-referenced them with the Brandon family."

Mac could tell from the excited energy that was practically radiating off the young lab tech that his search hadn't been fruitless. "What did you find?"

"Well, the whole purpose behind the riots was the Menzetti trial. But why did Menzetti kill that teen in the first place?"

"Because he'd been the victim of several break-ins and vandalism attacks." Mac shook his head. "Does this have something to do with the Brandon's?"

Adam nodded. "I think so. About a month before Menzetti shot and killed the innocent teen, police responded to a call to the bodega on 43rd. Witnesses reported seeing someone spray paining graffiti on the windows. Police units arrived and discovered the teenager with the spray can still in his hands. They tried to apprehend the kid but he ran. They pursued and when it looked like the kid was about to pull a weapon, responding units shot and killed the kid. Further investigation showed the kid had a gun but it wasn't loaded. It was declared a clean shoot and the officer who shot the kid wasn't reprimanded."

Mac frowned, waiting for Adam to continue. Adam handed him a file. "The kid had a rap sheet with juvie a mile long. A street kid who'd been in and out of trouble for years until a foster family took him in. Take a look at who his foster family was."

Mac glanced at the file and nodded. "Thanks, Adam. I think you've just given us the missing piece of the puzzle."


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: I know, I know; I should be ashamed of myself going this long without an update to this story. I've all but finished it in my mind but it's not as easy going getting it down on paper the way I want it. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 21

"Dat?" Lucy pointed to the picture in her book as she snuggled close to Danny on the floor. He'd left what should have been the comfort of the couch two hours earlier to sit on the floor with his aching back against the hard front of the couch. He'd discovered when he'd been injured after the shooting at the bar that this was sometimes a more comfortable position for him . He'd actually discovered it by accident when he'd tried to maneuver himself from the couch to his wheelchair one day while Lindsay had been at work and he'd missed the chair and ended up sitting on the floor for several hours until Lindsay had come home from work. Knowing she'd be worried to think he'd fallen while she wasn't home, he'd let her believe he'd moved to the floor by choice but had been surprised to find that it had been comfortable.

"I don't know, what is that, Lucy?" Danny asked. It was a game they often played when it was the two of them. She'd sit beside him with a pile of picture books and they'd read them together. She would question what was on the page and he'd turn her question back on her so that she would have to identify the picture.

"Bu bird." Lucy supplied. Danny smiled. He loved listening to her toddler-speak but also knew at some point she'd have to start pronouncing her words correctly. Still, it wasn't a fight he wanted to actively pursue just yet; the day would come that she'd grow out of it and he wasn't ready for that day to come any too soon. So instead, he settled for repeating the words correctly for her so she could hear the proper pronunciation.

"I think you're right. That is a blue bird. My Lucy is so smart."

There was a sudden pull on the short hairs on his head followed by a round of wracking coughs. He waited until they subsided before glancing up on the couch where Lindsay had stretched out taking a nap. She'd fallen asleep running her fingers through his hair and several times during her nap, he'd found his hair being pulled as a precursor to a coughing fit. She didn't wake up and Lucy and Danny exchanged a glance when it was over. Lucy shook her head.

"Poor Mommy gots a bad cough."

"Yes she does." Danny agreed. He was glad the coughing was no longer waking her up. He knew she hadn't slept well the night before as the coughing kept her awake. Between her lungs and his back, they were quite a pair and he was glad that Mac had given them the time off. Although he was curious as to what was going on with the case.

"Her needs her medis?" Lucy asked, setting the book aside. Danny glanced at his watch and saw that it was time for both of them to take their respective medicines. He hated to wake her up when she was sleeping so well but the coughing had gotten steadily worse in the last half hour and he was sure it was just going to get worse.

"Yeah, it's time for both Mommy and Daddy to take our medicine."

Lindsay scrambled up from her seat next to her father, ready to be helpful. "I gets it." The she looked at him, holding her small hand out pointing her finger at him. "Daddy stay."

Danny shook his head as she then ran toward the bedroom. "Did she really just give me the same command we give Reese's?"

The puppy lifted her head at the sound of her name, looking almost balefully up at Danny. Then seemingly realizing she was being spoken about rather than to, returned her head to its perch on Danny's leg. Danny chuckled. Days where the entire family could just laze about were few and far between and it seemed that even the dog was determined to enjoy every minute of it. A few seconds later Lucy came running back out carrying a bottle of pills and Lindsay's inhaler. She handed both to her father and then narrowed her eyes in concentration. "You need water?"

Danny glanced at the empty bottle sitting on the coffee table and realized Lindsay had obediently emptied it before falling asleep earlier. He nodded and started to get up to get another one. Lucy stamped her foot at him, looking very much like a miniature Lindsay when his wife started to fuss at him about something.

"No, Daddy. You hurt too. I gets it." She ran back to the kitchen and he could hear her small stool scraping the floor as she pushed it close to the refrigerator before opening the door to retrieve a bottle. A moment later she was back holding a cold plastic bottle in her small hands. "Here Daddy. Lucy big girl. What else I get fo' you?"

"What are you making our daughter do for you, Mr. Messer?" Lindsay's sleepy voice came from the couch as she began to run her fingers once more through his hair. Her tone was amused but Danny harrumphed anyway.

"Don't look at me. She's the one giving me orders. Definitely takes after you." Danny grumbled and then laughed when she used the hand that had been playing with his hair to swat him in the back of his head. "Ouch."

"Mommy, you take you medis, now. You gots a bad cough." Lucy handed her mother the inhaler. Lindsay obediently took two puffs on the inhaler, realizing that Danny was right about Lucy enjoying giving the orders. Danny took his own muscle relaxant before the two-year-old could return to ordering him around. Then he leaned his head backward so that he was looking up at Lindsay.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like an elephant is sitting on my chest. How about you? Sitting down there helping?" She leaned her head down to give him an upside down kiss. Another round of coughing broke off the moment of affection prematurely, but Danny wasn't surprised. The inhaler usually caused more coughing right after she used it before it helped.

"Not so much that it's helping but not hurting it worse. Plus, it's giving me some quality time with our very smart daughter. She's been reading to me."

"I likes weeding to Daddy." Lucy admitted, apparently satisfied that her patients were being well taken care of. That is, until Lindsay's stomach made a most unladylike gurgle and growl. She blushed as Danny laughed.

"Hungry, Babe?" It had been after ten by the time they had gotten out of bed that morning so they had settled for a late breakfast/early lunch. Now that it was closing in to the supper hour, it was surprising that both of their stomachs weren't protesting more.

"Don't laugh at me, you loveable jerk. Yes, I'm hungry but I'm finally in a very comfortable position. I don't want to have to get up and figure out supper just yet."

"I do it." Lucy volunteered and scrambled out of the living room. The young couple exchanged a glance as she disappeared once more.

"She's not really going to try to cook is she?" Danny asked, slightly concerned at the damage she could cause.

Lindsay shook her head and snuggled a little closer to Danny. "Sure, she is. She made a beeline straight for her kitchen set in her bedroom. I hope you like plastic fish sticks, peas, and carrots because that's probably what we'll be having if we leave it up to her. I know we were blessed with the sweetest, most generous child in the entire world but is it just me or does she seem even more helpful than usual?"

Danny reached up and took the hand that wasn't playing with his hair in his own and gave it a slight squeeze, being careful since it was her injured wrist. "I'm sure we have Ma to thank for that. I can hear her now as she was bringing Lucy and the dog home today. 'Now, Lucy, remember that both Mommy and Daddy have ouchies. You be Noona's big girl and take extra good care of them.' I wouldn't put it past Ma to have given a similar talk to Reese's. She's been pretty calm herself today."

Again the puppy raised her head at the mention of her name and gave a small bark as if to confirm Danny's theory before settling back down. Both Danny and Lindsay laughed, some of the tension of the last week easing as they enjoyed the simplicity of just being together. "Your mother means well. I'm surprised she didn't insist on keeping them an extra day but I'm glad to have Lucy at home."

"She tried." Danny admitted. "I practically had to beg in order to get her to return our child to us. I also had to assure her that we'd probably be calling on her to keep Lucy overnight when we actually start the move. Figured it would be easier moving the big stuff without those cute little feet getting in the way."

Lindsay's stomach gurgled again and she slapped Danny's head again when he once again laughed. He reached to his side and pulled out his phone. "As much as I love Lucy's pretend cooking I think we're going to need something more substantial than plastic food. That new Hibachi place sound good? They'll deliver."

"Sounds perfect. Think we'll be able to get Lucy to answer the door when it arrives?" Lindsay inquired, stealing the water bottle for a quick drink.

"Now who's all for using our daughter to run errands for us? Like we'll probably be given a choice." Danny called in their order and was just returning his phone to its holster when Lucy emerged from her bedroom balancing a tray full of toy dishes. She set her offerings on the coffee table and carefully handed out empty plates to her mother and father.

For the next fifteen to twenty minutes, Lindsay and Danny munched on the best fish sticks they had never tasted as Lucy's smiling angelic face looked on. Every time they thought their plates had been satisfactorily emptied, Lucy had immediately refilled it. At this point, Danny wasn't sure he'd be able to eat his fried rice and hibachi chicken and shrimp when it arrived as he filled up on invisible food.

When the doorbell rang, both Lindsay and Danny were sure their food had arrived. Lucy practically bounced up and down in excitement at a possible visitor. "I get it?"

Lindsay reached out and gave her daughter's cheek a loving caress. "Sure, Baby. Go ahead. Ask who it is before opening the door though."

Lucy ran to the door and climbed up in the small chair they kept there just so she could answer the door. "Whosit?"

The answer was not the one they expected. "Uncle Mac."

Lucy squealed with delight as she swung open the door and immediately launched herself at her godfather. The first time she'd ever greeted him in that way, Mac had been taken by surprised and almost dropped her before catching her. Now, he was so accustomed to her leaping into his arms that he caught her without a thought. He hugged her close to him as he came into the apartment and closed the door behind him. Lucy was used to affectionate greetings from all of her pseudo uncles and aunts from the lab but even she squirmed at the tight embrace she suddenly found herself in. She'd never known her beloved godfather to almost squash her to his chest the way he was currently doing. Still, any visit from someone from the lab, even Flack who was over at least once or twice a week, was a cause for celebration. Being squashed or not, she was going to enjoy the attention.

"U'nca Mac. You hungry? I made fish sticks."

"Maybe later, Princess. Maybe later." He carried her over to the overstuffed chair near the couch and sat down, still holding her close. It wasn't that unusual for Mac to show up after work, especially with everything else that had happened in the recent months to check on the couple. The way he was clutching Lucy close to him as if holding on to a lifeline wasn't normal, though. But given recent events, neither Lindsay nor Danny could fault him for wanting a comforting cuddle or two. They both could contest to the fact that their daughter was the best at that.

"Mac, is everything okay?" Lindsay asked quietly as she set up on the couch. His clothes were rumpled in a way she'd not seen even after he'd pulled double or even triple shifts at the lab. He also appeared to be a little shaken.

The older man nodded and they got a good look at his face for the first time. Lindsay gasped, tightening her hold on Danny's hand. Danny frowned. "Mac, what the hell?"

There was a bloody smear on his left side of his face that seemed to come from a deep graze on his cheek. Lucy noticed the blood for the first time and her eyes widened. "Poor U'nca Mac. I fix it."

She tried to scramble down out of his lap to run to her room to trade her imaginary chef's apron for equally imaginary medical scrubs and her doctor's kit. Mac didn't let her go and they noticed his hands were trembling as well. Lindsay stood.

"Thanks, Lucy, but I think Mommy better take care of this one. You stay there and keep Uncle Mac company." She went for the first aid kit wondering what had happened and why the hell no one at the lab had taken care of the wound before letting Mac out of their sight.

Danny shifted off his perch on the floor up to sit on the couch, his hands gripping his knees. He'd seen that kind of wound before; it could have only come from a bullet barely missing its mark. "Mac, you've been shot. What the hell happened?"

He knew he'd used two curse words in front of his impressionable daughter and knew also that he'd probably pay for his lapse of good sense more than just throwing a couple of quarters in the curse jar. But for the moment, he didn't care. His friend was hurt and looked like he was also in shock and Danny wanted answers.

"No, not shot. Almost." Mac muttered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come and scare anybody. I just needed… I don't know what I needed… but I came here so I guess I needed this."

"It's okay, Mac. You're family. You're always welcomed here." Lindsay assured him as she returned with the medical supplies. She perched on the side of the chair and dabbed at the wound with a peroxide-soaked cotton ball, removing the GSR and blood from around the wound. Mac hissed as it stung but didn't protest. Once the wound was clean she could get a better gauge of the severity of it. It was nasty but not as bad as it could have been. "You could probably use a stitch or two but I guess I'd have more success talking that wall into going into the Emergency Room than getting you to agree."

Mac nodded. "A couple of butterfly clamps will be fine if you have them. If not, just a regular band-aid. Maybe not a Dora bandage though, if that's okay." His attempt at levity only briefly reassured them.

"Oh, we have them." Lindsay assured them casting a worried look over at Danny. Both were dying to know what had happened but realized that Mac wasn't ready to talk about that just yet. Lindsay closed the wound as best she could and held it in place with the use of two butterfly bandages. Then she taped a clean piece of gauze over the whole wound. Once she was finished, Mac reached up and gave her uninjured hand a squeeze, thanking her.

Placing the medical supplies on the coffee table alongside Lucy's toy dishes, Lindsay sat down next to Danny on the couch. Her arm was wrapped around his body needing his comforting presence just as much as it seemed Mac needed Lucy at the moment. They waited silently, hoping that soon he'd get his normal bearings together so he could explain what had happened. The doorbell rang again and this time they were pretty sure it was their supper delivery. As Lindsay stood, Danny reached for his wallet so he could give her the money to pay for it. He was surprised to find the pocket empty; he looked at his wife to see her carrying it with her to the door. He shook his head.

"Babe, I've told you; no fair ya pickin' my pocket if I don't get to at least enjoy it while you do."

Lindsay rolled her eyes but Mac didn't even react to the exchange. She paid the delivery guy and brought the bag to the coffee table. After setting it on the table, she put a hand on Mac's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. "Mac, why don't you eat with us. Danny ordered three adult plates and Lucy can't eat all of hers by herself. There's plenty for all of us."

Mac nodded absently and Lindsay retrieved four plates and forks from the kitchen. They ate in silence; Danny and Lindsay didn't seem to know what to say to help their friend and Mac seemed a little too lost in his own thoughts to contribute to the conversation. Even the normally chatty Lucy seemed to realize that something was going on and stayed quiet, still sitting in Mac's lap as they ate. Once supper was over, the shaking in Mac's hands seemed to have subsided. He looked down at Lucy who seemed content with the attention she was getting from her favorite person outside of her parents and grandparents. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Ready to tell us what happened?" Danny broached, quietly. "We're kinda going crazy over here worrying about you."

Mac nodded. "I'm sorry I worried you. After everything that happened today I think I just needed to be with family."

"We're glad we could be here for you." Lindsay insisted. Then she looked at her daughter. "Lucy, how about you go play in your room for a little bit. Maybe Uncle Mac will read you a story later before he goes. Okay?"

Lucy nodded and threw her small arms around Mac's neck giving him a huge hug. Then she kissed his uninjured cheek. "Loves you much, U'nca Mac."

He tightened his hold on her momentarily as well, taking strength in her innocent embrace. "Love you too, Lucy."

He released her and she scrambled down from his lap to do as her mother requested. With a deep sigh, he looked at the worried young couple sitting on the couch. "It's over. No, I guess that's the wrong way of putting it. It's not going to be over as long as people are still hurting from everything that's happened. But nothing else is going to happen."

Danny nodded, glad that he didn't have to worry about any further harm coming to Lindsay or any of his other friends. But still, looking at Mac, he couldn't help but worry about the cost that came with the capture. He waited for Mac to continue.

"It all boiled down to Manny Johnson."

_Two interrogation rooms. Two suspects. Two trained detectives. One question. _

"_What can you tell me about Manny Johnson." _

_Parker Brandon blinked back at Jo nervously. "Never heard of him." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat as if daring her to try to contradict him._

"_Parker, I've seen the file and I know that's not the truth."_

_The young man's face betrayed no emotion. "Then if you've read the file, I guess you don't need me to tell you anything then. If you are going to insist on holding me here then I'm going to exercise my right to remain silent."_

_Down the hall, Travis Brandon had a much different reaction to Mac's question. The sadness that had been almost omnipresent underneath the bitter rage he'd hidden behind got substantially worse. The man ran his hands through his hair and seemed to age an additional five years at the question. "Manny could have been a good kid. He should have been a good kid but life fucked him over royally."_

"_How so?" Mac asked, his voice and tone both warm and conversational. This was a man who was on his last rope and needed compassion before he hung himself with it. But at the same time, Mac couldn't ignore what Adam had told him about the boy's rap sheet with juvie. _

"_He was born to worthless parents. Mom was a junkie who didn't even stop using when she found out she was pregnant. Manny was born addicted to crack, alcohol, who knows what else. How he survived his infancy is beyond me; might have been kinder if he hadn't. I don't know that his dad was ever more than just a sperm contributor. Had someone taken him away from that life when he was young enough - someone who would have loved him enough to get him clean and give him boundaries - maybe he would have had a chance. But they didn't and he started getting into trouble. Started getting arrested and then he did get people's attention but not in the right way."_

"_How did you come to know him?" Mac interjected. He had a feeling there was more to the story than what Adam's file had shown._

"_My wife was a social worker with the city. Manny was assigned to her. She saw his potential and knew he just needed someone to take a chance on him. Hell, I think she saw him and worried what could have happened to Tanner and Parker if their lives had been different. I don't think I ever saw her so emotionally involved in a case as she was his. Some nights I would just have to hold her as she sobbed. She was so scared he was going to slip through the system and wind up dead. She'd bring him hone with her sometimes; wanted him to see what a family could be like. I worried about it; thought he might be a bad influence on our boys but they took an interest in him as well. Tanner even begged us one day to make Manny their brother. Told him we couldn't because he already had a mother."_

_Travis was recounting the story but it was obvious he'd all but forgotten that Mac was even there. "Then Manny's mom died of a overdose and Manny was put into the foster system. By then even I had changed my opinion of him. We would have taken him in, even adopted him but we couldn't. Stupid regulations against social workers taking in their own charges. That didn't stop Pammie though. We might not could make him our son but she found a way to get him in the family. My brother and his wife took Manny in. Pam was convinced this was going to be the start of something great for Manny."_

_Knowing that final outcome for Manny, Mac could hear the bitterness in Travis's voice. "It wasn't though, was it?"_

_Travis shook his head. "I didn't know how bad it had gotten until Manny died. Pam was devastated. So were the boys." Travis didn't admit it but Mac was sure he'd been upset by the boy's death just as much._

"_Manny was killed in the same alley that your son's body was dumped in. I don't think that's was a coincidence. Someone wanted the NYPD to pay for something. When we first identified Tanner's body I thought it all tied in to your wife's wreck. Now I'm thinking it has more to do with retribution for Manny's death. Someone wanting the NYPD to pay for taking his life."_

_Travis shook his head. "I don't have any love for the police department. They cost me my wife but they didn't do anything wrong the night Manny died. The kid was in over his head and he paid the price for it."_

"_How did your brother's family take the news?" Mac was getting closer to the questions he really wanted to ask. _

"_Mostly relived I'm ashamed to say." Seeing Mac's shocked expression Travis continued. "Manny wasn't alone that night. He was just the only one who got caught. I learned some things that night. Things I never suspected. When Pammie first brought Manny around I worried about the influence he'd be on my boys. Turns out the threat was already closer to home. Corey, my nephew, was the one who came up with the idea of messing up the bodega that night. He'd been fired earlier that week cause his boss had caught him using drugs while on the job. He's the one who got Manny using again. My brother and his wife were just glad it wasn't Corey who was killed. I never told Pammie. She would have blamed herself cause she's the one who talked my brother into taking in Manny."_

"_Sounds like Corey has a bit of temper as well as a drug problem." Mac suggested. _

_Travis nodded. "I guess you could say he has an exaggerated sense of retribution." Suddenly he paled. "You think Corey is responsible for all that junk that's happened?"_

"_I don't believe you did it, despite your confession. I think you thought you were protecting Parker when you confessed. Why did you suspect him?"_

_Travis didn't look like he wanted to say anything but figured if he was going to help his son at all, he had to be truthful. "Parker and his brother were as close as two brothers could be. He would want someone to blame for his brother's death."_

_Mac nodded and thought back to what Travis had told him about Corey and the fact that it had taken at least two people to commit most of the crimes. "Could your nephew have spurred Parker into retaliation. The way he talked Manny into vandalizing the bodega?"_

_Travis nodded reluctantly. "I forbade my boys from having anything to do with their cousin after what happened to Manny. I thought they were obeying me. Then after the wreck, Tanner was so messed up and Corey started coming around. Corey is the one who got Tanner mixed up in drugs. Corey is responsible for one son's death. I'll be damned if I let him be responsible for my other one going to jail."_

Danny whistled low as Mac took a break in his story. "That's seriously messed up. But looking at your face there's got to be more to the story."

Mac nodded. "Flack brought Corey in. He wouldn't admit to anything but we ran his prints against ones Jo took from the steering wheel of the Malibu. They were a match. We tried again to question Parker; offered him a deal if he'd tell us what really happened. Travis even tried to talk to him. Nothing made him budge. Travis got aggravated and told Parker he was giving up on him. Told him he was on his own. Stormed out of the interrogation room. I followed him leaving Jo to continue questioning Parker. Maybe he was serious or maybe he was hoping he would shock Parker into coming clean. I don't know. I stopped him on the steps but before I could talk to him his brother came up."

"_I should have known you were involved in this." _

_Mac glanced over at the newcomer. He couldn't be completely sure who he was but from the family resemblance he assumed it was Travis's brother. He didn't look happy. The two brothers just stared at each other without saying anything for several minutes. The tension was thick and Mac was just about ready to encourage the newcomer into going inside. He really felt like Travis Brandon had handled everything he could for one day. Then suddenly, the brother reached in his pocket and pulled out a small revolver firing as soon as it cleared his jacket. Mac reached for his own sidearm but felt the burning sting crease his cheek before he could. He went down seeing Travis Brandon fall beside him. Vaguely he heard a second shot ring out._

Once again Mac was shaking just from reliving the experience. Lindsay left her spot beside Danny and went to Mac's side. Both Danny and Lindsay knew Mac had been shot at before; they knew his distress wasn't over so much the near miss itself but everything else.

"The shot that grazed my cheek hit Travis in the head. He died instantly. Another officer had come out just in time to see what was happening. He shot the brother in the chest. I finally got the whole story from Parker who was more willing to talk once he heard his father was dead."

"_Dad is dead? Uncle Scott killed him? Why?"_

_Mac shook his head. Jo and Flack both had urged him to get his cheek taken care of and let them handle the rest of the interrogations but he couldn't. A man had died not two feet from him and he needed to know why. "I don't know. The only thing your uncle said was that he should have known your father was involved in this. Do you know what he meant?"_

_Parker shook his head. "Dad didn't have anything to do with any of this. He's been too wrapped up in his own grief and rage to even notice what was going on with Tanner. I never thought it would go so far. Uncle Scott and Corey were there for me and Tanner when Dad wasn't."_

"_Being there by supplying Tanner with drugs?" Mac questioned. "Was that both Scott and Corey or just Corey?"_

"_Corey. Look I know drugs are wrong but Tanner was really messed up. I tried to tell Corey he shouldn't give him the drugs but Corey said that Tanner could always get the drugs from other places, places that might not be as careful about the product. Besides, Tanner was old enough to make his own decisions. He wasn't going to listen to me."_

"_What happened the day Tanner died?"_

"_I called Corey. I was freaking out not knowing what to do. I wanted to call the police but Corey and Scott showed up and talked me out of it. Uncle Scott said with the drugs Tanner had in the apartment I could be in trouble as well. I told them the plan I had with Grandma's donuts and they said I should make the police pay for the pain they caused Tanner as well as what they did to Manny. It was their idea to leave Tanner's body in the alley, to make a statement they said. After we left his body, they took me to Grandma's and I made the switch. On the way back, Uncle Scott pulled out a gun and said we were going to make the police regret the day they didn't save my mom. I didn't know what he meant until we drove by the alley and he shot at the officers standing there. I swear to you that's the only time I was there. I don't know about the other attacks you were talking about. It was all Uncle Scott and Corey. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. Too many have been hurt already."_

_Parker lowered his head to the table and began to sob. "Damn them. Damn them all."_

"What's going to happen to Parker?" Danny asked. He didn't care what happened to Corey after everything Lindsay had been through or after what happened to Paul Jenkins but he couldn't muster the same ill will toward Parker.

Mac shrugged. "I don't know. If he's telling the truth and the first shooting was the only one he was there for, the DA may go easy on him. Probation and community service maybe, certainly not hard time. I don't know. I didn't stay around to ask too many questions. I had to get away. I'd seen family at its worst all day long and I suddenly felt an incredible need to see family at it's best. I left the station, left Jo and Flack still hammering at me to get my face looked at, left everything behind and climbed into the Avalanche. It took me all of two minutes to realize I was coming here. I didn't know why but I knew I had to be here. I think I just needed a little of Lucy's innocence and the love that all three of you have for each other and your extended family to balance out the bad."

Almost on cue, Lucy emerged from her bedroom, holding a well-worn book. Lindsay recognized it as Lucy's favorite. The toddler crawled up in Mac's lap once again and looked up at him with a big smile. "You read me now?"

Mac hugged her tightly. "Yeah, Lucy, I think I read you perfectly."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Author's note 2: Hopefully worth the wait and didn't disappoint. This is not the end of the story but the end of the angst. Coming up next will be Stella and Brady's arrival for the wedding.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Notes: When I first got the idea for a sequel for Wrong Place, Wrong Time, it was going to be just to have Stella and Brady get married. Then it kind of branched out to the case fic with the wedding in the background. Now with the case solved, the wedding festivities I originally planned can commence. Portions of this chapter were inspired by getting to watch some late season 3 episodes this week on Spike. I'm sure you'll catch the references. Probably two or three more chapters to get the nuptials complete. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Begin Anew

Chapter 22

Lindsay stood in the middle of the visitor area of the airport, straining to see over the heads of everyone gathered around. She cursed, not for the first time, her small stature as she watched for the arrival of her dearest friend. She'd checked the board several times and she knew Stella and Brady's plane had landed twenty minutes earlier. How long did it take to retrieve bags from the baggage claim and make your way up? She looked down at her phone to make sure she hadn't missed them somehow.

"Lindsay!" The familiar voice cut over the buzz of chatter in the airport causing Lindsay's head to snap up and a wide smile to overspread her features. Stella practically threw a large garment bag at the handsome man beside her and ran the rest of the way to hug her dearest friend.

After enthusiastic greetings between the two women, Lindsay finally released her hold on Stella and turned to Brady. She hugged him warmly as well. "Welcome to New York, Brady."

"Glad to be here. Where are Danny and Lucy?"

"At the house. I should warn both of you that as soon as everyone at the lab discovered the two of you were coming in this afternoon, plans were made. I hope the two of you aren't worn out from the flight because you'll maybe get a couple of hours to rest before everyone starts dropping by."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Stella assured her friend. She took the garment bag back from Brady since his hands were full pulling their other luggage and then linked arms with Lindsay as they headed out of the airport. "I can't wait to see your house. From the pictures you sent me it sounds like a dream."

"It is." Lindsay agreed. "Some days I come home from the lab and I just look around and can't believe that it's actually ours. I don't think I loved the house I grew up in as much as I do this one. It's perfect for us."

"Are you sure it's not an imposition having Stella and I stay with the three of you until the wedding?" Brady probed gently. "We appreciate it, believe me, but we don't want to put you and Danny out."

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Please, our feelings would be hurt if you didn't stay with us. Everything is all set up. Now, no more talk about being an imposition. Got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am; not another word about it." Brady leaned over and kissed Stella's cheek as they walked.

It didn't take long to load their luggage in the back of the Avalanche. Lindsay looked at the garment bad that Stella carefully placed in the back. "Are those our dresses? I can't wait to see what you picked out for my maid of honor dress. I've been going crazy with curiosity. I know you sent me the link for the dress but a picture can't do it justice. Can I take a quick peek?"

"NO!" Stella almost shouted stepping between Lindsay and the garment bag. Lindsay gave her an odd look and the older woman quickly explained. "I want it to be a surprise. Besides, Brady's been trying to sneak a peek at my wedding gown and you know it's bad luck for him to see it before the wedding."

Still curious but satisfied with the answer, Lindsay let the matter drop - at least momentarily. Once everyone was buckled in, she pulled the truck from its space and headed out of the airport garage. As Lindsay drove, Stella pointed out different sights to Brady, feeling as if she'd never left. The atmosphere inside the vehicle was relaxed, friendly, and bordering on noisy. So noisy in fact that Lindsay almost didn't hear her phone beep with an incoming text message.

Almost as if no time had passed since the two had ridden together to a crime scene, Stella reached over and retrieved Lindsay's cell phone. She read the message, not trying to be nosey but knowing Lindsay couldn't do so while driving. She smiled. "It's from Danny. He says there is an 'egg-mergency' at home."

Lindsay smiled as well. "He and Lucy were going to make cupcakes for tonight while I was picking the two of you up. It was a consolation prize since Lucy wasn't going with me. Apparently the eggs didn't survive the attempt. If you don't mind, I'll stop at the bodega and pick up a carton on the way."

"Go ahead. I really hope you aren't going to too much trouble." Stella insisted but knowing it was a battle she had no chance of winning.

"Are you kidding? Now that we've got a full size kitchen I'm discovering I secretly married a cross between Emeril Lagasse, Bobby Flay, and Betty Crocker. Who knew?"

A few minutes later, Lindsay pulled into a space right in front of the corner store and promised to be right back. Brady unbuckled his seat belt and leaned forward to kiss Stella. "Have I told you lately how much I love you Ms. Bonasera?

She returned his kiss with one of her own. "Not since we arrived in New York. I love you too, Mr. McWilliams. Have I told you how much I'm looking forward to being your wife?"

Brady grinned back at her. "Not since we arrived in New York. You've missed being here; I can tell. You're happy to be back here, aren't you?"

Stella nodded. "Yeah, I've missed being here; missed my friends but I wouldn't trade it for what I have now. I love my life in New Orleans. I love my life with you. I'm happy to be here but only because you are here with me."

They kissed again. Brady pulled back slightly, caressing Stella's cheek with his finger. "I'm sure it helps you to see Lindsay so happy. I know how much you've worried about her."

"She was getting back to herself when the attacks against the department happened. It's been weeks but I know everyone is still trying to deal with the emotional aftermath. I was afraid it was going to send her right back to that dark place she was in after the kidnapping. She sounded better but I couldn't be sure. I guess I worried about nothing. She's seems happy and centered."

"I know. It's amazing really. She's not the same woman she was when she and Danny came to visit in New Orleans."

"She's Lindsay again. The same Lindsay she was before the kidnapping. I'm sure she still has moments but it's like it never happened."

Brady took a glance to the back of the vehicle where their bags, especially the garment bag that held the dresses for the wedding, currently resided. "What do you think she's going to say when she sees her dress for the wedding?"

"She's going to flip her lid but she'll love it."

Lindsay emerged from the store and Brady sat back and refastened his seat belt. She set the bag to one side and looked at her two friends. "Sorry, there was a line. Apparently there's been a rash of 'egg-mergencies' tonight. Let's get you two to the house."

As soon as she turned into the driveway, the front door of the house opened and both Lucy and Danny stepped out on the front porch. The youngest Messer was jumping up and down in excitement, an excitement that was apparently shared by Stella who had her seatbelt off and door open before Lindsay could even put the Avalanche in park.

"Lucy!"

"Aunt Stella!" They met halfway and Stella scooped Lucy into her arms for welcoming hugs and kisses. It was an even noisier reunion than the one she had shared with Lindsay earlier at the airport.

"I think they are happy to see each other." Lindsay comment wryly as she opened the back of the truck to help Brady get the luggage out. Brady laughed and shook his head.

"I know she loves being in charge of the crime lab in New Orleans and I know she loves being with me but seeing how much she misses everyone here makes me wonder sometimes if she'd be happier if we moved here. It would be hard but I'd do it if it was what she wanted."

Lindsay reached over and squeezed his arm. "Whenever I go visit my family in Montana, my reactions are much more extreme than Stella's. However, as much as I miss everyone there and am glad to see them, it's not home any more. Even if Danny and Lucy agreed to move back there with me, I wouldn't go. Montana is my past and for the most part a great past but New York is my present and it's my future. It's the same way with Stella. Don't worry about her, Brady."

Brady ducked his head a little. "She pretty much told me the same thing while you were buying the eggs. I just want the very best for her. She's that important to me."

"You are the very best for her." Lindsay assured him. "Trust me, she wouldn't be marrying you if she didn't think so and those of us who love her here wouldn't be supporting the marriage if we didn't think so. Now, let's get your stuff inside; Lucy is going to want to greet her Uncle Brady next. Want me to carry the garment bag?"

Brady shook his head. "Not a chance. Stella would have my hide if she thought I was giving you a chance to take a peek."

"How about I help with the luggage and you, my beautiful wife, can see if you can extract our daughter from Stella." Danny greeted his wife with a kiss and then shook Brady's hand. "Good to see ya again.. Those two might be sayin' their hello's for another hour if we don't do something. Lucy is the only person I know of that can talk to Stella longer than Linds can without saying anything at all." He laughed as Lindsay swatted his arm but proceeded to get the luggage out of the truck.

As Brady followed the married couple up the walk, Lucy did break free of Stella as soon as she saw him. She launched herself at his legs hugging him tightly. "U'nca Brady, you came too?"

Releasing the luggage, he knelt down to her level and gave her a proper hug. "Of course I did, Miss Lucy. Couldn't let Stella come all the way to New York to see you by herself."

Lucy looked behind him. "Where's Roscoe?"

Roscoe was Brady's German Shepherd whom Lucy had fallen head over heels in love with when the small family had visited Stella in New Orleans. Brady ruffled her hair slightly. "Roscoe had to stay back in New Orleans to take care of the house. Besides, I hear you have a puppy of your own. Think you can introduce me to her?"

With the chance to introduce the newcomers to the fourth member of the Messer family, Lucy led the way into the house. The next few minutes were spent with Stella and Brady appropriately oohing and ahhing over Reese's. Then Danny was able to lure Lucy away with the reminder of making cupcakes now that Lindsay had brought more eggs. The toddler happily skipped her way to the kitchen for a thorough hand washing before cooking. Lindsay offered to give Stella and Brady the tour of the house.

After looking at the upstairs and the main floor, Stella turned to Lindsay. "This place is perfect for the three of you. And any more of you that comes along. And for such a reasonable price."

Lindsay smiled as she started to lead them to the basement to show them Danny's pride and joy. "Well, there are a lot of updates the house needs but nothing that we felt was truly pressing. So when we got the home loan we factored in those expenses but decided to use the extra money on some splurges instead of some of the less necessary updates. I gave Danny free reign to do whatever he wanted to the basement. I should warn you, Brady; your bachelor party will be held down there because it is the team's newest favorite hangout. Stella, Jo and I are taking you out on the town for your bachelorette party the same night."

"As long as I don't have to get John McEnroe to lick a lifesaver off a necklace and then ask him to buy me a condom, I'm okay with that."

Brady looked confused and a little horrified at the notion but the two girls just laughed remembering the crime scene that had vexed them all those years ago. Lindsay had almost completely forgotten about that case as so much had been going on at that time like her burgeoning relationship with Danny. "I promise we will not do anything that will cause your husband to be to be impaled on a condom machine.

Brady shook his head. "This conversation is getting a little to weird and way too painful sounding to me. Maybe I should go up and help Danny and Lucy make cupcakes."

Stella looped her arm around his waist and held him in place. "No way. Sounds like Danny's man cave might become your favorite room as well. You should see it."

Lindsay led the rest of the way down the stairs to the basement, flipping on a light as she did. The three adults stood at the base of the stairs, Lindsay with a proud smile on her lips as she saw the surprise and admiration on Stella's and Brady's.

One corner of the room was a large entertainment center complete with a large screen tv - much larger than the one upstairs in the living room. Several old couches that looked very comfortable for watching the game or whatever else might be going on. Behind that was a set-up for an in-home bar. Stella pointed out one piece of equipment that was proudly displayed on the back counter.

"Is that a kegerator?"

Lindsay nodded. "Triple tap. Danny figured why give Sullivan's all our money when we could have our own set-up right here at the house. Danny's gotten quite good at the bartending duties since we've moved in. If he ever needs to moonlight or quit the crime lab, he's got a second career all lined up."

Stella scanned the rest of the room. With the exception of the comfortable couches she did feel like she'd walked right into a sports bar. There was a dart board on one wall and on the other side of the room, a pool table. She smiled. "Danny got a new pool table. That's great. I know how much he hated to get rid of the one he had when the two of you got married."

Lindsay smiled softly. To the normal eye, it did look just like any other pool table, no different than any of the thousands of other pool tables in the city. However, Lindsay had recognized right away that this was no ordinary pool table. For a moment she allowed herself to be swept back to the memory of the day, right as they were moving into their new home, that Danny had showed her his surprise.

_Lindsay sank into the living room couch wearily. It had been a long day of hauling boxes from the apartment to the house and then unpacking them. It had helped that all of their friends had been there to help. Mac had even given Sheldon and Jo who were technically on duty to help out provided they didn't pull a crime scene. The work had been hard but at long last everything that had once resided in their apartment was now in the house even if there were still more boxes that needed to be unpacked. Danny sat down next to her and pulled her close. She burrowed her head into his inviting chest._

"_I'm glad to have had the help today cause I really don't know how we would have gotten everything done that we did." She admitted softly, her eyes were half-closed and the rhythmic sound of Danny's heart beat under her ear was quickly lulling her into an exhausted sleep. _

"_I hear a but in there. Babe, it's only eight o'clock. You aren't flaking out on me already are you?"_

"_Just resting my eyes." Lindsay argued then continued. "But I'm glad they didn't want to stick around tonight after the pizza ran out. I want everyone to feel welcomed here and it's going to be great having the space to entertain but I'm not feeling it tonight."_

"_To be fair, you are still recovering from what happened." Danny lightly raked his fingernails up and down Lindsay's arm not really wanting to relax her further into sleep but unable to keep his hands off his beautiful wife. She sighed contentedly._

"_So are you. How's your back?"_

"_It's fine. None of the guys would let me even think about lifting any box heavier than ten pounds. I have a surprise for you."_

_Her eyes opened and she sat up, thoughts of sleep disappearing. "What kind of surprise? We've been so busy with the move you haven't had time to do anything but pack boxes."_

_Danny grinned, looking boyish and eager. "It's downstairs in the game room. Can I show you?"_

_The game room was probably the one room she hadn't been in at all that day. Now, looking back she wondered if that had been by design rather than accident. She shook her head confused. "A surprise for me? In the game room?"_

_Danny nodded and stood, holding his hand out to help her up. She let him pull her up and then lead her to the narrow staircase that led down to the basement. At the top of the stairs though, Danny stopped her and held up a black sleep mask one she hadn't seen since their early days of dating and he'd made a game of surprising her with things. "Can I? I don't want you to see it until I'm ready."_

_She trusted him with all of her heart. She knew he would never hurt her. In the past whenever he'd put the blindfold on her, it had led to some wonderful surprise or very pleasurable experience. But despite knowing all of that, her heart beat quickened and her breath caught in her throat at the thought of putting on a blindfold. Danny immediately sensed the change in her and tossed the sleep mask aside and pulled her close. "Aw Babe. I'm sorry I didn't think. Dammit."_

_Lindsay let him hold her for just a moment and then rose on her tiptoes to kiss him. "It's okay. Just one of those things. How about I promise to close my eyes instead? Once we get to the bottom of the stairs though. I know you would never let me fall but those stairs are so narrow you'd have to be behind me."_

"_Agreed." Danny instead led the way stopping on the bottom step to look back at Lindsay. "Okay, eyes closed, Babe." Satisfied that her eyes were closed he led her the rest of the way into the room. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he guided her into position. "Open your eyes, Montana."_

_She did and was surprised to see the pool table. She didn't have to ask to know that it was the same one that had once resided in a prominent place in Danny's apartment. But how had he gotten it back? In the days she'd spent in Montana after her surprise wedding to Danny, the task of packing up and moving his stuff to her apartment which was slightly bigger had fallen to him. She hated that he was having to sell the pool table because it meant so much to the both of them but it just didn't make sense to keep it with a baby on the way. She twisted and looked at him. _

"_How? You said you had a guy ready to buy it while I was in Montana."_

_He nodded. "I did. I even showed it to him. He was a nice kid; reminded me of myself when I first bought the table. I could imagine him and his buddies gathered around it, drinking beer, making bets, talking about girls. Everything I used to do. I couldn't sell it to him. Couldn't stand the idea that other guys would play pool on the same surface where I first made love to you. So I told him I changed my mind about selling; turned down better offer after better offer until he finally realized I wasn't haggling for a bigger price. Then I asked Ma and Pop if I could store it at their house along with my bike."_

_He laughed self-depreciatingly. "Ma accused me of trying to hang on to my bachelorhood days. I let her think she was right; couldn't exactly tell her what we'd done on the table. I mean you were big-as-a-house pregnant…" he dodged her sudden swat and continued. "So Ma kind of knew we'd you know…"_

"_Had sex? Admit it, you can't say sex within fifty words of mentioning your mom."_

_He blushed slightly. "So, can you?" Lindsay laughed but didn't deny it. "Are you mad? That I kept it?"_

_Lindsay kissed him once more. "Are you kidding me? I felt so bad that you were selling it. I wanted to tell you that we'd figure out a way to keep it but I didn't see how it would fit in our apartment with all the baby stuff. I didn't say anything because I figured you think I was just being silly and sentimental."_

"_You silly and sentimental? Never." He pulled her closer, his arms wrapped securely around her waist as she clasped her own hands behind his neck. "So Lucy is with my parents all night and the gang won't be back until late tomorrow morning to help us finish unpacking. What do you say we play a round or two."_

_Lindsay pulled Danny's head closer so that she could kiss him deeply. Then she started stepping backward, pulling him closer and closer to the pool table. Danny was almost instantly transported back to that night in his apartment, the night he finally discovered how wonderful loving Lindsay could be. Her hair was shorter and being a mom had rounded out all her curves in just the right places making her sexier than ever and they were both as sober as could be. But everything else seemed the same. The look in her eyes mirrored the lustful look she'd given him that night all those years ago. The way she almost seductively chewed at her bottom lip had him fully aroused. As her rear end bumped into the table, she rose up on her tip toes to nibble at his ear lobe. "I'd love to play around with you, Mr. Messer."_

_Danny obligingly lifted her up to sit on the edge of the pool table, his hands untucking her shirt from her waistband. His mouth blazed a trail from the top of her jawbone down to her slender neck. "I thought you were tired."_

"_We can sleep later. The pool table makes a pretty good bed."_

"Lindsay?"

The young mother jumped slightly as Stella's voice drew her back to the present. She blushed slightly. "Sorry."

Stella gave her arm a squeeze. "It's okay. I'm not sure where you went but it definitely seemed like a happy place. I hated to interrupt whatever you were remembering but Danny called down to say the gang was arriving. Brady's already headed back upstairs."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Danny's really in his element, isn't he?" Stella commented an hour later as everyone gathered in the backyard. Danny was holding court around the grill, a housewarming gift that everyone in the lab had contributed to, demonstrating to the guys his best grilling techniques.

"I'm not going to complain," Lindsay answered. "At this rate, I may never have to cook again." The doorbell chimed and Lindsay rose from her spot at the patio table that had been left behind by Mrs. Goldberg when she moved. "Let me get that. It's probably Jo. She's about the only one who still rings the bell when everyone gathers here."

Stella watched her friend go and then looked back out across the yard. Danny was busy at the grill and Lucy was on the other side of the yard having talked Brady into trying to teach Reese's how to fetch. She was taken back to the first day her friends had arrived n New Orleans and she and Lindsay had talked about just this very moment.

_The sliding door leading out to the back yard slid open and Danny stepped back in. Lucy's laughter could be heard as she ran around the backyard playing with toys that Stella had also borrowed from her friend at work. "The grill is finally hot enough. You got the steaks ready?"_

_Stella nodded and started to get up but Danny waved her back to her seat and retrieved the meat from the kitchen before returning to the porch. Once the door slid shut again, Stella looked out to where he was carefully putting the steaks on the grill. "I feel bad. You three are my guests and he's out there cooking supper. I'm going to go take over."_

_Lindsay smiled and shook her head grabbing Stella's arm keeping her to her seat. "Don't you dare. Danny's feelings would be horribly hurt if you did. The only time he gets to grill is when we go to his parents house and he manages to wrestle grill duties away from his dad. Want to talk about fun fights to watch? Danny has made me promise that if we ever decide to buy a house, the first thing we have to buy for it is a grill. I'm all for it because I may never have to cook again."_

_It was times like this that Stella missed being in New York the most. "Are the two of you seriously considering getting a house? I know how much you both love being in the heart of the city."_

_Lindsay shrugged. "Maybe one day. Lucy would love having a backyard to play in all the time. Danny really wants us to have another baby and despite some of the not so great parts of pregnancy and labor I would too. However another child would mean we would need more room and a small house would make more sense than trying to find a bigger apartment. Sometimes looking into getting a house makes a lot of sense."_

_Stella knew her friend well even if she had been away for awhile. "I'm sensing a but in there."_

_"I don't want every emotional event of my adult life to mean a move. I get my dream job and I have to leave Montana to move to New York. When I got pregnant with Lucy and Danny and I decided to move in together we moved into a bigger apartment. Then Shane Casey breaks into that apartment and threatens my husband and daughter and once again, another move. Even if what happened to me didn't prompt the move to a house, I think I need more time to get past it before I seriously consider another move. Otherwise I'm afraid I'll always connect the house with the kidnapping and rape. Does that sound bad?"_

_"Not at all." Stella assured her. "Trust me, I know all about those emotional necessary moves. After what happened with Frankie there was no way I could stay in that apartment. It devastated me when I had to find a new place to live when that apartment was destroyed by the fire. When I moved here, the idea of finding a new place to live was terrifying. I didn't want to settle for the first thing that came along because I was in some sort of hurry to find something. I put my stuff in storage and got an extended stay suite for a month where I could look at my leisure. I felt really good when I found this townhouse. I was amazed that I was able to find something this big with a backyard for less than half of what I was paying in New York."_

_Lindsay's eyes bugged out. "Less than half? If I thought I could ever get Danny to agree to leave New York, I'd ask if you had openings in your lab for both us and we'd move in a heartbeat. This place is great."_

_With Danny's help with the door, Lucy came running into the living room and threw herself into her mother's lap. Her face was red from the exertion of playing and her little chest was fairly pounding from the humidity she wasn't used to. Stella pushed a couple of tendrils of her sweat laden hair out of the little girls eyes. "You having fun out there, Lucy?"_

_Lucy nodded and looked up at her mother. "I thirsy, Mommy. It's hot out there."_

_Laughing Stella got up to fix her something cold to drink. She gave the cup to Lucy who drank half of it in one long swallow. Then the little girl looked at Stella. "Aunt Stella, your yard needs a doggie."_

_Lindsay laughed. "Better watch it Stel, she'll have you talked into one before we leave if you give her half a chance. A grill is on the top of Danny's list for a house and a d-o-g is on the top of Lucy's."_

_Lucy drained her cup and then ran back outside to play some more. Stella waited until the door closed behind the little girl before turning her attention back to her friend. "So a grill for Danny and a pet for Lucy. What's on the top of your list?"_

_"Are you kidding? I have the absolute best husband in the whole wide world and a little girl who makes my heart almost burst with love every single day. Getting to come home to them is the only thing on my list."_

It seemed like all their dreams were finally coming true. Stella couldn't help but think there was no family more deserving. The back door opened and Jo Danville stepped out. Stella rose and greeted the woman she'd become friends with while Lindsay was recovering from the kidnapping. Jo took a seat at the table. "Okay, I want to see the rock and the fiancé."

Obligingly, Stella held out her left hand. Jo gushed over the ring and then scanned the backyard for the unfamiliar face. She nodded toward the ring. "I approve." Then she nodded toward where Brady had given up trying to teach Reese's to catch and had allowed Lucy and the dog to tackle him to the ground. "And I definitely approve."

Stella looked back toward the house. "Where's Lindsay?"

"She'll be out in a moment. Danny's cell phone was beeping as we came through the house so she decided to check it real quick."

"Danville, glad you could make it. Where's Ellie?" Danny, carrying a platter of cooked chickens, stopped at the table to greet Jo with a quick kiss to the cheek.

"She and Tyler are sharing a brother/sister night. They don't get to do that much any more so she enjoys the opportunity when it presents itself."

Danny nodded. "I gotta get these inside and get the burgers and dogs to put on the grill. There's sodas and beers in the cooler over there."

"What, not using the kegerator?" Jo teased.

Danny simply shrugged. "I was all for it but Lindsay figured it was asking too much for everyone to be running up and down the stairs to the game room every time someone wanted a beer. I'll be right back."

Jo got up long enough to open the back door for him before returning to her seat. Danny carried the food into the kitchen and set the platter on the counter. He could see Lindsay sitting at the dining room table staring at a cell phone. Concerned by the look of bewilderment on her face, he stepped into the room. "Something wrong, Babe?"

She looked up at him. "My mom sent you a text message. Why are my parents coming to New York and why didn't I know about it? Is something wrong? Is someone sick?"

"Nothing's wrong. They're coming to the wedding, that's all."

Lindsay shook her head. "Why would my parents come all the way from Montana for Stella's wedding. They've never even met Stella. Danny, there's something you aren't telling me."

"Danny, need some help with the food?" Stella skidded to a stop as she could feel the tension in the room. Danny looked back at her.

"I think it's time." He didn't elaborate but Stella nodded her understanding and left the room. Danny knelt beside the table and took the phone away from his wife. "Babe, remember when you were getting ready to head to Montana before you had Lucy? I was torn up inside, not knowing what to do. I knew I loved you but I wasn't sure if that was enough. Mac had a long talk with me and he finally told me that I could either live in a place of fear or believe in the best possible version of myself. So I took a chance and asked you to marry me."

Lindsay shook her head, confused. "I know all this, Danny. What I don't know is why my parents are coming to New York."

"See, I tried to convince myself that I was choosing to believe in the best version of myself but really, I was still living in a place of fear. I was afraid you were going to get to Montana and decide you didn't want to come back. That you'd rather raise our child with your family close." Seeing she was about to protest, he held up his hand and continued. "I know you wouldn't have kept me away from my child but I was a mess back then. So in that place of fear I thought that if I married you before you went you'd have to come back to me."

"Danny…" Lindsay tried to break in but Danny hushed her with a quick kiss.

"I don't regret marrying you and I know you don't regret it either. But marrying you like that, in the clerk's office with only Stella and Mac to witness it, wasn't right. You deserve so much more. Your parents deserved more. WE deserved more. I don't think I ever really thought about it until you went missing. There were moments when I worried we wouldn't find you in time and that I'd have to raise Lucy alone. I could see this teenaged version of our daughter asking about you and our wedding and it didn't feel right to me. When we were in New Orleans, you told me about your childhood wedding dreams and I felt like a heel cause I robbed you of that opportunity. Then I saw the dress you were looking at and I knew I had to do something."

Lindsay shook her head. "Dress? What dress?"

"This one." Stella stepped back into the kitchen holding a beautiful white gown. The same white gown that Danny had pulled up after Lindsay had left the office that day she'd claimed to be looking at the gown Stella had picked for herself. It was even more beautiful in person.

Lindsay swiped at the tears that had slipped down her cheeks. She couldn't believe she was looking at her dream dress. The one she'd go to anytime someone she knew was getting married. The dress she'd known she'd never where but could imagine that she was the model on the computer screen. She looked back at Danny who took her hand in his and brushed his lips against her knuckles.

"Lindsay Monroe-Messer, will you marry me again?"


End file.
